Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Year!

That is all I have time to write because I have stuff. Not fun stuff just stuff that I don't want to do so I put it off as long as I could.


Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Fun talks

I hope that you all had a good Christmas.

I woke with a head banger. I tossed before leaving, on the way, then when I arrived. It was still a good Christmas.

Here’s a funny conversation I had with my daughter the other day.

Miss Littles: What does my name mean?
Me: One who stinks.
Miss Littles: Mom that’s not it. I know what D’s is but I can’t remember mine.
Me: Person of stinkiness.
Miss Littles: That's not it.
Me: Stinky shoe.
Miss Littles:MOM!
Me: Princess Stinky.
Miss Littles: It is not! It’s something like sweet or honey.
Me: One who draws flies.
Miss Littles: Sure I like flies, hey I even named one Jerry, but that isn’t it.

It’s Greek and actually means very dear one, beloved, or Grace.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Codepoke expected more words from me on Christmas Eve.

Here are my excuses and I’m sticking to them.
It was 4:30 am and I was getting ready for work.
I’ve had a melt down last week.
The ice storm took a week of shopping away.
Because I didn’t have my Christmas shopping finished (yet) I’m picturing myself shopping in QT at 2am.
I have yet to wrap anything.
One of the men at church went off on me over my husband leaving the church.
I have no clue. Really Not One!
I had to put worship slides together this week and some of them were a real pain.

Here’s the up side
Miss Littles did a great job as an angle in church and her solo rocked. Yes I had tears in my eyes.
I received tons of Merry Christmases, several hugs, way too much candy, and pizza.

It’s a wonderful time of the year to remember the gift that came to save us.

Have a Very Merry Christmas.
I need a nap. ;-}

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

No swimming on this beach

As I was driving home from the cemetery, I needed to check on the arrangement because that’s what I do I always make sure things are taken care of, anywho as I was headed home I started thinking about how I haven’t been diving into the Bible lately. To be honest I haven’t wanted to sit in front of a book at all. I started thinking about how wrong I was for that. It’s God’s word I should be snorkeling in it. As I turned left into my neighborhood I realized that I was still living in the Word. I began to think about giving myself a break. I realized that it is fine and dandy to sit on the beach with my sun glasses on, a cold beverage in my hand, and not be reading the Word.

As I looked around my home I could see how blessed I am, even in the darkness I could see the blessings, possibly more because you can’t see the dust and dog hairs. Your feet find the dropped toy and the chair legs. *-* I thanked God for not letting me freeze to death, that I hadn’t broken a toe, and for the hot showers every night. We were all thankful for not having to smell each other. I enjoyed the peanut butter sandwiches. My children not so much with the power outages, they broke long before we did and moved out. I’m sure it had very little to do with the “When I lived in the country and the power went out. . . .” stories.

Back to the thought. I know I tend to wander around, I talk like that in person also. Call me ;-}

I was thinking about how I (we) need to cut ourselves some slack. Just because we aren’t pulling every Word apart doesn’t mean that those who do are better than those of us who sit on the beach once in a while. Thing around my house have been a bit crazy with the power outages, Christmas, work, and life. I deserve the time to just live in the Word. I need time to stroll down the beach.

I try hard to live the Word every day. I try to be the hands and feet of God.

If I fall short would you divers write something good for me to read?

Monday, December 17, 2007

It'sbeen 10 years

I miss you Mom.

We talk of you often and Miss Littles loves the idea of you. DK feels blessed to be the grandchild who knew you.

Thank You for being my best friend and mom.

Friday, December 14, 2007


It’s warm and cozy in the house tonight. We’ve replaced some of the food that had to be tossed. All is good in our home.

We’ve offered refuge to a friend her home is still without power. She’s missed cooking so my dinner and breakfast are planned. :-}

It was quite a storm and has left some of the areas looking as if a bomb was dropped. It’s a sad sight.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

It’s a disaster

That’s right Oklahoma is a disaster area. Some of Tulsa looks as if a bomb was dropped on it. It’s really sad because so many heirloom trees have been lost due to the ice.

I’m blessed because my family is safe and sound. We have lost only one small tree. It’s the one we call the bird bush. The poor thing is leaning and uprooted.
We are without power and our house is very cold but we didn’t have trees falling on the roof as others have.

I’ve heard numerous stories at work including a fatality. It’s really made me aware of how blessed we are to be safe and sound tonight.

Keep the firefighters and the folks working on our power lines in your prayers. We are thankful for those folks who have traveled from all over the US to help out.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Ice Ice Sunday

When my alarm lightly woke me with a wonderful song from my dainty slumber I wondered if the freezing rain would keep us from church. Ok the truth is what you expect when you read this blog so the truth is what you’ll get. When I heard the beginning of Michael W. Smith singing I pushed the snooze button and rolled over hoping that the ice storm would allow me to go back to my drool and snore fest. I think I was dreaming about having a maid, a chef, a nanny, and a life coach who is willing to do all the work for me. You know the dream that all of us married with children ladies dream. I had been interrupted once and was about to the part of the dream where my husband realizes how wonderful I am when again Michael began to sing to me. (Note to self change that CD because he seems to be nice and you are not thinking nice things about him at 6 AM) I quickly jumped out of my bed to see if the roads were too treacherous for travel hoping beyond that we could make it for services. That’s right I’m telling the truth. Slowing left my warm bed and stumbled into the family room to check for church closings. Not on the TV. I then hit the web site. Nope. I then check emails. The worship minister sent changes late so we’ll be dealing with those this morning if we have services. I happily start getting ready for church. Not. I call my boss to see if we are indeed having services. He’s setting up and people are there. Yea! I skipped. Who am I kidding I dragged myself out to the family room to find my children waiting. Oops Miss Littles is dressed in a spring dress and its freezing, I remind her so she dashes up the steps to change. By stomping and yelling “when am I ever going to get to wear a dress to church again?” I think to myself “How precious” or was it “Just get changed people are waiting for me. I could leave you here with your dad.” That’s it the last one. I marvel at the fact that she’s now wearing wine pants and a purple shirt complimented by a red jacket with Dalmatian fur cuffs and collar, she tells me it is real puppy fur. (No covering that one up I was a bit horrified until she agreed it was a bit cruel.) The real deal is that we needed to go and I had already sent her up to change once.

I can't keep it up any more here's the way it really was:

I arrived at church late so I dropped my stuff in the booth and rushed to the room where we copy stuff to copy a CD for the holiday season. I know I should have rushed up to see if I was needed in the booth. I then rushed back to the booth and began to help with the rehearsal. Other churches were closed today so a man in a truck dropped off several boxes of donuts. That was good because the boss and I had a discussion about me being the woman and my roll. I should bring food because that’s what good women do. I rushed down to get him a donut so that I was now redeemed. When I got back he was already eating one but happily took my round offering after all it is a holey food and can be eaten on the Sabbath with or without coffee.
It turned out to be a lively morning and if you listen to my minister you might get a hint of things that took place.

During a reading someone did a rebuttal from the audience, our worship minister asked if we had other gods up there, tattoos were shown, we had a song mix up that I thought I had fixed, and my boss forgot to advance a slide during one of the songs making both of us laugh out loud.

It was a fun and silly morning.

Most of all it was a wonderful reminder of why I love that bunch of folks. God took a morning when all that I wanted to do was sleep to remind me why I get out of bed to be with these folks.

God showed me something so beautiful on my way to work. Just as the Michael W. Smith sang Son Of God I hit the part of town hit hardest by the ice. The trees were bowing from the weight. I wished for a camera as I passed them. It was wonderful timing as if God had them show me how it was to be done.

Sunday at work was an interesting one. I have to say that I will fall for jokes. I can easily be set up and played. I was played well by our LP and another coworker. It was classic. I was full in hook, line, and sinker. It had me laughing. I spent most of the night pushing credit. Yes I have to do it and yes I do it well. The truth is that I ended up helping folks and loving it. The storm was really hitting folks hard so helping them find what they needed was a good thing. It was reminded how blessed I am when two homeless men were in the store tonight because it promises to be a hard night for them. It was an easy drive home and the heated seats felt nice. I came home to a nice house with family in it .

And to think I wanted to sleep in today!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Life in film

On Thanksgiving Day my aunt gave me a DVD of our family’s home videos. Today I sat down to watch this video. I wish that I could have watched it with my family I would have been a hoot hearing everyone making commits. Even alone you know I had a few.

Put down the camera and get the sharp pointy stick away from the little kid!

Hey look my brother just ran over me!

It was a given that he was about to do that!

What is going on with the obsession with filming the back sides of the women?
Yes they need to stop bending over in front of the camera.

Almost all of the adults smoked.
How do you folks feel now?

What was with taking us to fields?
We must have thought it was a vacation.
Can't pull this over on us now. :-}

I can see why I had to do PT to walk.
My feet had to compromise to get me anywhere.

My brother and sister loved to wrestle.

I could see the look on my dad’s face when Uncle B got that paper towel holder as a gift.

I could see the look on my dad’s face when he came into the room and saw the mess my brother and sister made.
I was a good girl daddy.

No car seats.

Ugly lamps.

Who chose that sofa?

Big wigs!

It was great to see those who aren’t sharing the table on this earth with us anymore.

Lots of my mom she loved making faces at the camera.
So beautiful.

It was fun seeing us as kids again.
The Christmas memories, grandparents, cousins, fun, and love on that little DVD .

It’s a blessed life!

I’ll have a copy for you Mark when I come to OKC for sister’s weekend out.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Dark Moments

In the dark moments of the night they whisper softly as a friend might do to give comfort.
They twist their words and temp your heart.
I try to shut them out I beg for sleep.
They promise to take the pain away.
Just open the lid and smell my wonderful scent.
Close your eyes and remember the way I felt the warm burn.
I can take the pain away.
Just open the lid and take a sip.
I close my eyes and let the faces of those I love chase the demons away.
When morning breaks I have won another day to feel pain again.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

14 and all that

My son turned 14 yesterday. I love this kid he’s tender hearted, funny, and smart. People told me it would be hard having a 13 year old in the house. Aside from his messy room he’s been rather easy.
He doesn’t eat much.
I think I'm gonna like 14.

He’s wonderful to talk to and has a great way of seeing the world. I love the moments when he and I just talk. That would be when he isn’t wrestling around with his sister, they act like puppies at times.

Thank you Uncle Mark, Aunt K, and G for the gift. It was just what he wanted. ;-}

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!
I love you!
I thank God for you!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Treed for hours

I spent eight hours outside at work last Saturday in the cold, in that time I realized that Christmas gets a bad rap. In my eight hours I had about ten or so customers. (Note to self the next time you’re scheduled to be outside bring something good to read.) Most of my customers wanted Christmas trees. Some came with the kids. They would hold out a tree for the other to see someone would inspect it as if this was going to be the last tree ever. After several rejections they would choose the best one and proudly carry it to me. The kids love to watch the tree expert trim, cut, and wrap the tree for them. Nothing like seeing a woman in chaps, a mask, and wielding a chain saw. Their big eyes made me smile. The best thing was that the parents wanted to make the kids happy. They wanted special memories for them. One woman, with a baby in her arms, asked for help shopping. She wanted to surprise her husband wanted a live tree. That was very cool.

I remember fondly going to the tree lot with my parents we were always sure that we had chosen the best one. It was about the hunt for a special tree for us kids, it was the hunt for a memory that made my parents load up three kids to romp around a tree lot inspecting each tree to be sure that we had the best one ever.

My parents loved Christmas, they played along with the thought of Santa. I’m not in any way angry that I was lied to. I still believe in the magic of it all. This year we are making our decorations for our tree because we want memories for our children also.

Sure I have a distain for some of the shopping that I have to do. I wish that money didn’t come into play. To be honest I wish that I could send ya’ll gifts from Oklahoma. Hideaway Pizza, Eskimo Joe’s stuff and so on.

I can send you this:

It’s a time to celebrate when Christ was born and the Gift that was given to us.
Christmas is a time for making memories in someone’s life.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Turkeyish Prospective

Turkey Hand art by Miss Littles

Sometimes prospective hits you like a speeding garage door opener, you aren’t sure how it got wedged under the car seat until the next afternoon when you find a bump in the shape of a rectangle in your forehead then you have an ah ha moment. It’s then that you realize how blessed you truly are to only have a few bumps and bruises from the night before when a person drove his car into the back of your car at a high rate of speed. Opener flew off the visor bounced off my forehead dropped to my knee bounced to the floor slammed under the front seat.

Why do we have to have bump on the head moments?

Why do we have to be deep in the ocean before we can feel the sand on our feet?

This morning I had an ah ha moment.

I am blessed.

I live in a rather large house in a good neighborhood.

My children are healthy.
I have a family that supports me.
With all the problems at church I’m still able to worship there.
I have a job that I enjoy most of the time.
I have way too much stuff in my life.

I began to think of those who have had to worship under harsh circumstances. Hiding how they feel from those around them.

I don’t have to hide my love for the Lord.

Why do we have to be on the edge of a cliff before we look back?

Thanksgiving is a great time to be thankful for the blessing that God has given us. We have so many blessings. God understands that we feel pain, Jesus felt pain when He was on this earth. He knows His children mourn the loss of our mothers he knows that we worry about earthly things and issues. He sees our faces when we find ourselves over our heads, He holds our hands by using others. He helps us tread water and sends us a life preserver when we’re smart enough to grab it.

I give thanks for sending me friends to listen to my ramblings. Even if they didn’t want to listen to me go on and on, they still listened and asked and that means a lot to me. I won’t have a house full of people Thanksgiving because someone else wants to host the event. THAT'S A BLESSING! We will have way too much food for one sitting. We will laugh discuss politics and watch football. My family will spend time in a house full of blessings. . . .each other.

I realized that I’ve been rather self centered when it comes to what I think are huge problems. Golly no one tossed me into the hot oven. I do have to admit it was hot in that room and it felt small but no one actually put a match to me.

This week I will look at my blessings and think about how I can spend more time treasuring them.
Have a happy Blessing Day by giving thanks.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Life-down and up

I’ve had a rollercoaster week.

I met with the elders again, this time we played it our way. It went better, women should be allowed to speak and this one did.
One co-worker said an inappropriate word several times and was fired.
The baby of a co-worker died a few days after birth, his service was yesterday. You realize how small your community is when those things happen. Keep them in your prayers.

Now for the upsides.
I told those men in that room how it was and how I felt.

My son and I had a great conversation about whether or not babies go to heaven. We also talked about what the fired guy said and what it means. My son was clueless about the word. Yea! It’s a hard word for some to hear and someday it’s going to hurt my niece, which hurts our hearts that some stupid boy could say something that will cut her heart. I makes me want to grab the boy and shake him until he understands how harsh it is. I pray some day that the children of the world not know that word. I give praises that my son doesn’t use those words that hurt.

The son went with his aunt to a mission to serve food this week. The boy loves to do God's work there.

I had lunch with my daughter at school with one of her friends. I brought the chickeny goodness for us, it’s a great place to get fast food from because they are always so nice. Lunch with Miss Littles was fun. First I have to say that I handpicked the neighborhood and that school. I found a reserved for parents table when I arrived. They have a special table just for us! The kids were allowed to talk, discipline was a big thing at the old school so the kids had to be quiet. I heard a few no running warnings and one cafeteria attendant had to judge a “He started singing first argument”, She sent the boy back to his chair with a “stop it both of you.” Kids being kids is ok in this school.

I spent some time talking with a friend yesterday morning. It was a nice way to get my day going. Kevin is right a cup of coffee with a brother is valuable. I treasure the time we spent talking.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A season of change

Fall is to me one of the most beautiful times of the year. It’s not just because I can be outside without wilting and itching but because the colors and the smell of the earth. Fall smells so good to me. The earth seems to want for those leaves. I wondered as I walked home after walking my daughter to school why we rake leaves if we aren’t going to turn it into mulch. Why do they throw them away? Some bag them up for a land fill. It makes no darn good since.

No good since seems to be a theme this year for me and where I worship on Sundays. We rake leaves without trying to save them. When I found myself in the path of those who only want their yards to look nice I was struck hard. I knew that they would eventually want to speak to us about what was happening, I was preparing for it. I wasn’t prepared for them to pluck the leaves from the tree, they went way beyond raking the leaves from the floor of the forest they raked the branches.

Who knows what spring will bring.

Friday, November 09, 2007


Codepoke wrote about a place where he spent part of his youth. It got me thinking tonight as I drove to the store. I live at the end of restaurant row now. I’ve traded the woods of my past for big homes and shopping.

As I drove to the store for tomato sauce and a timer for our outside lights I started thinking of that place of peace. It always seemed damp and cool wild violets grew in a small patch with moss around. In the spring the gully would be covered with white blooms from the dogwood as if a magical snow had fallen. In the summer the woods were alive with creatures. If you sat still you could hear them moving about. The fall brought the smell of earth the floor of the woods were covered with colors of leaves. Winter snow brought peace to us. It seemed that the entire world grew silent only the sounds of branches cracking under the weight of the heavy snow were heard.

I miss that place at times.

This Sunday may bring heavy changes to my home.
Uncertainty of what will come of it makes want to search for the place where God speaks through the trees.
If just for a moment of reassurance.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Same o' same o'

I’ve heard that we all have a twin out there in this big wide world. I’ve been told that my twin lives in same part of the state that I do, in fact she’s closer than I realized.

Several years ago a woman walked up to me talking as if we had known each other for years. I must have looked at her as if she were nuts. She explained that I looked just like the daughter of a co-worker from the same store.

I hadn’t really given it much thought through the years until one morning at work a customer started talking to me about the night before. I told him with a smile that my husband wouldn’t have allowed me to be out dancing like that.

A few weeks ago a man started talking to me about where he knows me from and is convinced that we know each other. He still comes in and asks how he knows me.

Not long ago a couple started talking to me and asking how long it has been since we last saw each other. I looked puzzled. They looked at my name and said aren’t you _____________
I said first name is right last name wrong. Turns out that she lived in a town not far from where I work and we have the same first name.

It’s a little creepy to think that someone out there shares the same name and looks like you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Yep, It's my birthday

That's right Halloween and I'm 46

Monday, October 29, 2007

Wisdom from a cookie

I found this today while cleaning a shelf off.

The fortune cookie words ring so true.

Be careful! Straight trees often have crooked roots.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Today we can do big things in small ways.

It’s been crazy at work lately. We’ve been way short handed and they have fired three from my department in just a few short months. I won’t say why. Things at home have been a bit nuts with the kids going here and there schoolwork, homework, housework, work, work, and church work.

So how on earth do I find time to renew me to relax and stop? I find myself in such a hurry that I forget to let God into my day.

I spent some time not long ago at a mission with my son, two other teens, and another volunteer from church. Only a select few are invited to go and I had the privilege of being asked. We cleaned the room, served food, then cleaned up again. I delighted in seeing my son enjoy serving others. I loved listening to the teens talk about their lives. Such promise ahead. The men and women that came to eat were in need, they needed to hear God’s words and they needed to be fed. They were so happy to see the food and so thankful to be served. most of the men came back several times for more, they wanted the meat of the meal not the dessert.

I wonder how many come back to hear the meat of God’s word and not just to have a hot meal.

I need to do more things to renew my spirit.

I need to do the little things that let God into my moments.

What about you?

Can we?

Today we can do big things in small ways.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Hot Stove a look back

Codepoke responded to the Hot Stove post and silly me hasn’t been checking down much at all these days. I thought this was quote worthy then again it’s CP so that doesn’t surprise those of us who know him. Here is what he said:

In my experience, God seldom repeats Himself. He walks quietly out of the room whispering, "I might not touch that stove if I were you," and never looks back. He's always just loud enough to be sure you heard Him, but quiet enough that you can pretend to yourself that you didn't. And when I burn myself silly, I find He was waiting right outside the door with the aloe lotion. Not a word passes between us unless it's the sound of my repentance, and then He changes the subject pretty quickly. He's not One for "I told you so."

Good stuff CodePoke!

I was gonna run away

Tonight I was thinking about where I would go if I ran away from home.

I have very little experience in running away I’ve only done it once and I was very young at the time. My dad worked in a juvenile home and we lived right next door, well actually our home was down a rather large hill, it looked large to me at the time. It seemed so far away. Across the street was an amusement park. No we didn’t spend a lot of time there. We did get to hear the noises from the rides. I still remember the laughing from one.

I have no idea now what set me off into the vast wilderness to the home. I wasn’t much more than four if that. The odd part to me was that I wasn’t in trouble at all when I arrived after my journey of the unknown. I thought it strange that my mom didn’t scold me for trekking alone to that large building where Miss M. was waiting with candy, a coke, and a kind smile for me. I can’t remember what we said to each other I just remember the treats and the love.

I also remember my mom asking where I got that box of candy from. I told her, all proud of my independence, that Miss M. gave it to me. She instructed me to save some to share. I didn’t, after all I earned it I made my own way it was my journey and I wasn’t gonna share any of what I had worked so hard to get. I wasn’t a brave kid at all so that was a huge thing for me to be out in the world all alone every step might have meant danger for me. I might have been eaten by some wild creature. So the candy was hard earned and well deserved. It was chocolate I think.

So tonight I was thinking of running away.

I could show up in one of you folks cities but chances are you’d just send me back home.

Would you give me a Diet Coke and some candy first?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

KB asked a hard one

KB asked a rather hard question about whether a person should be allowed to die with dignity.
Go read it.

I can only give life experiences to this one.

My aunt hadn’t been married for very long when she was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or better know as Lou Gehrig’s disease. She remarried after her first husband died from emphysema. Here is where those around her learned a valuable lesson in choosing a mate. We are going to spend the rest of our lives together in sickness and health someone, as we grow older, is most likely going to need to be taken care of and if that’s you then you’ll want that person to take good care of you.

This is a horrible disease. We all took a sigh of relief when the tests came back saying it wasn’t hereditary. It started with her becoming a bit wobbly then she quickly lost her ability to speak. This was a woman who could quote Shakespeare, never let us use the ain’t word, gave me the love for opera, even Puccini’s ;-}, and the Passion for the theater. She was a brilliant woman who loved playing Trivial Pursuit with passion, my husband always wanted her as a partner.
Watching this illness take her speech, ability to walk, then ability to move was agonizing for all of us. But even harder was what her husband was doing, he was hurting and neglecting her. Why not just take her out of the situation? She didn’t want to go.

This disease took her dignity. I refuse to give more detail than that.
If at any point in this she had expressed the want to die my family might have given it a huge amount of thought. She didn’t she held on hard and in her finial days she fought. We have no idea really why.

I only know that when my friend Caroline was dying she held on and hard. She called me one evening after I had put the kids to bed and asked me to walk over with some ice. I came without question, my husband, son and I had been doing things for her before she became ill and when asked we did what she wanted. I reset her machine and helped her to bed. We spent some time talking about her grandchildren and how she wanted to see the picture that she had taken with them if only they could fix the yellow. She was now very yellow because the cancer had taken over. She wanted that picture with her and she wanted to hold on until it was ready. I knew that she needed to be in a hospital that night but she didn’t want to go. I honestly think that she wanted that picture in her hand when she died in her home. I would have found her. Instead she was taken to the hospital the next day she died shortly after in the hospital without seeing the picture. I’d like to think that some how God made it happen for her.
I don’t think that taking the choice away from a person is the best idea I don’t know what my aunt was waiting for, one more I love you mom from her daughter, one more loved one to tell her it’s ok to let go.

I don’t think that I would ever have the right to take a life but I do think that I should have the right to make that choice for myself.

No easy answer no easy out.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Could it be?

I think that Jobu from Major League was made in the image of Bob Uecker?

What do you think?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Hot stove

Karen put her feet in the fire on her last post and ya’ll know I like to jump right in.

First of all I don’t think that everyone is going to be saved. Those of us who know people who have yet to find God mourn the losses but still have hope for them. I believe that God mourned them before they came. The question that always seems to be the rebuttal is "Why Jesus?" Why? Because we who believe, SIN. No secret here. We are big sinners! And the reason that those sins are big is because we know better. We are the kid with his hand on the hot stove after being told time and time again not to do it. We have to get burned then cry out for help. We have to want forgiveness to be forgiven. If I hurt Codepoke’s feelings and I know it I must ask him to forgive me and I must ask God to forgive me.

Yes it’s that simple in my mind.

Now to turn up the heat.

None of us are actually worthy of the salvation that God has given us. I have a gay relative in a same sex marriage. Without a doubt I would trust my children with this couple. They have respect for others and in no way would ever do anything to hurt a child. Do I think that all couples are like that? Nope straight or gay some folks have no discernment as to right and wrong. I think that they are worthy of salvation and I know it’s up to where their hearts are with God, not up to us stupid stove touching human sinners.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The mother of all questions

Tonight while on our way to church my daughter asked the question.
We all know it’s gonna happen, we think about our answers, we try to prepare ourselves, we want to be the cool parents with the great answer.

Momma how do babies get in a momma's tummy?

Being cool and all I responded like this :
Well a . . .a. . ..a .. .well. . .a. . . .

Oh Snap!
I’m not ready!

I’m looking back at that Little’s face. She has a questioning look.
This ain’t go’n away.

I look at my husband.

He’s no help.

What do you want to know?
Never give them more than they want to know.

My son, being almost 14 and thinking he’s ever so funny tells her this
"Babies are bought in a kit from Sears and assembled at home."

Good a distraction!
That's my boy!

My husband tells DK his was missing a few parts.

I said he was on clearance.

That’s right make her laugh then she’ll dismiss it from her mind.

I close my eyes and hope she has forgotten the original question.

I know that babies are in a mommy’s tummy but I just don’t get how they get there.

Think. . . Milly. . . .think.

Do you say well the daddy takes his. . . . a. . . .. Er . .. .. the mommy. . . .a. . . ??????

Your husband is no help at all.
Note to self: Remember to get even some how some day.

I’ve had to handle both kids asking me about this stuff and the boy knew the words for stuff, all of our stuff. Having a tween say mom it says your . . . . .well you get the idea.

You’re still too young to know this stuff." Comes from the back of the van.
Note to self: Check in with the boy to see if he needs to talk about stuff.

It’s SUPER MOM time! That’s right I had to dawn the special mom outfit and tell her this: "Mommy’s and daddy’s come together in a special way so that mommy’s can have babies in there tummies."

Turn your head fast SUPER MOM, look away and hope that it was enough for now!
She’s only seven.
What does a seven year old need to know?

I have to say that I didn’t want to say that God puts those little babies in a mommy’s tummy. I want to tell her the truth and I don’t believe that having a baby is always a gift from God. I do think that it can become a wonderful gift, I just don’t think that all circumstances are gifts from God.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I'm say'n back at ya

I believe in laughter. I just have a different sense of humor.
Those meeting sure are mind numbing.

Yes spider killing is a result of the fall.
It’s one of those things that was omitted from the bible. I did the research.
And the man shall killith the spiders every day even the Sabbath. All spiders that come into the man’s home are fair game and must be killed.
Yea for the girls teaching the boy to do the killing. So it is written so it shall be done.
Yes you can have ice cream. This is my husband’s grandmother’s recipe.

Simmer down and get off my tail. ;-}
Some of these folks don’t care what lane you’re in they want to be all over you. The thing is that they usually have ample space to pass. I was hit rather hard from behind so I’m not ever gonna hit the brakes.
I didn’t hit the brakes that night, the dude was speeding and slammed into my moving car.

I am that voice.
I stared blogging because I need others to talk to.
I’m more than just a one person voice.

Thanks Preacherman.
I Heart you.

Can’t wait to see you’ll at the fish fry. Grace could get bit by those sneaky critters.
I’m not paying for XM radio.
I just let it go a few days ago and I don’t miss it at all.

Did you really think it funny?
Was I trying to be funny?
I guess if everyone thinks it’s funny then I wanted it to be funny. *-*
You know I wanted to be funny.

Monday, September 24, 2007

I was thinking. . . . .

Is laugher needed?
Yes, I think it is. I come from a family that gives me a lot to laugh about and at. God must have been tickled when He created the lot of us.

Tonight at work I asked "Are people dumber lately?"
Yes, they are.
Is it the weather?
Nothing personal but some of them couldn’t perform the slightest tasks.

Do church meetings make you as crazy as they do me?
I wanted to jab a plastic fork into my head after listening to some of those guys talk.
Tell me I’m not alone in this.
Let's see a show of hands.

Why do people think it’s ok to get on my bumper so that they can pass me?
Do they not know that I freak out?
I want to hit the breaks but know all to well that being hit from behind hurts me and my car.
So just pass me already.

We don’t buy it when a radio station tells us over and over again that it plays more music and has less talk.
I want to call them.
I think it would go like this
"Hello, I’m in my car on my way to work and I think that if you’d actually shut up and play the music instead of telling me that you are going to shut up and play the music that I could listen to the music, if you don’t shut up soon I will be putting my Grey’s Anatomy CD on."
I want music on my way to work not your rumblings"

I’d love to be a DJ

If I were a DJ I’d get a lot of calls.

They would ask me to please. . .
shut up.

I can’t drink and drive.
I spill and. . . .
the car is new.

I say I'm reading a book in these parts.
Now I have homework.
No pressure here.

I wonder why God created slugs?

I’d go screaming from a room if a spider were in it.

I’d pick up a snake and take it outside.

Men should kill the spiders, I think it says that in the bible.

I know it says something about us gals and a snake.

I should make an apple pie soon. ;-}

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Monday, September 17, 2007

Jammet I don't wanna smile

I’m, for the most part, a very happy person. Once awake I’m ready to tackle stuff head on. At work I smile and play but today while on my way to the job I noticed the car in front of me. It sent me over the edge, come on folks you have to do the right thing you can’t just drive like that. BTW I do look at what I’m aiming at.

The tail gate of this huge vehicle had a fish with a cross on one side, a God Bless America license plate holder, and a smiley face on the other side. All I could think of was "What on earth are these people thinking?" I wanted to aim my new car at them just to see the reaction on their faces when they pulled over to deal with the "accident" wink wink..

I wonder if they would get out nicely and be all:

"Are you ok? Golly gosh that was scary. I’m so glad that you’re alright. That’s what’s the most important thing being alright right Noah?" They became Amish for some reason in my head yes that’s right Amish Emergent . "Golly I was just sitting there in my big old car quilting for the poor when your car hit us, I’m so shocked please have some jam. Lets just let it go and you take care. Hugs. This bread goes with the jam so nicely"

I’d be all like this:

"Yep I was driving along and noticed that you were speeding with that fish and cross on your car and thought wow they are sinning but ok we all go over once in a while so I’ll let it slide. I really had no problem with God bless America I’d prefer God bless the world but ok we are all about America. Hmmm those car parts say made in China. Oh well God Bless America.. Nice quilt, thanks for the bread and jam glad this jar didn’t break and I’m so sorry that I put my car into the back of your car. . . . it’s just that the darn smiley face put me over the edge. Have a nice day."

Instead of causing a jam up on the road I drove to work wondering why the smiley face. Who is it for?

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Flower Power

By Miss Littles

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Where the heck have I been?

I have been at work and dealing with the guys in my home working on stuff and trying to read some of your stuff and working on slides for church. . . . .and taking care of life stuff.

I finished the slides early !!!!!!!
(If I don’t receive changes)

I’m still around I’m just a busy lady at the moment.

Have a Happy!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

She Questioned Her Own

I have not read all that Mother Teresa wrote and all that has been written about her.

I had to take Miss Littles to the doctor today because she has an ear infection after waiting my hour past my appointment time I we were led to the little room I looked around for better magazines to look at while she played with the puzzles. I found a news magazine in the rack and started scanning the Mother Teresa article. I read a quote saying she wanted all the letter burned. Wow so now I’m thinking we are invading her privacy. I only scanned but as I did I began to think that the invasion is not without merit. We are thought of in this world as those who should walk around with a "I love Jesus smile" plastered on our faces. Personally I only know one man who has that look and it’s real, not like the fake dudes on TV. I knew a woman who always carried that smile, she’s now with Jesus. For the rest of us we struggle with unanswered questions, self doubt, unworthiness, depression, addiction, and so on.

Mother Teresa was in places that we have and most likely never see. She didn’t watch the horrific scenes in her church on a big projection screen, turning away if it seemed too much. Then dropping a few bucks in a basket to ease our minds. She was there she lived it, she smelled it, she touched it. Her questions are the same that any of us might have had after spending time helping people and never seeing an end.

I didn’t see where she had questioned God’s faith, she questioned her own.

We held this woman in high esteem and we praised her for her giving so selflessly. What a burden we must have placed on her shoulders, not that she was ever on Oprah complaining.
She had to sit with the wealthy to get donations for her works, I wonder if she ever wanted to shake some of them for the way that they lived or was she so special so loving that she knew that even money doesn’t solve poverty of the soul.

After reading more of her I feel closer to God, I’m lifted knowing that this woman shared some of the same thoughts that we have because this extraordinary woman was after all, human, just as we are.

Monday, August 27, 2007

She had a dream

Today a friend told me about her dream. She wanted to know what I thought about it.
Here’s the just of it.

She dreamt that she was back at her old church clapping and enjoying the worship. Eventually she was spotted by those she knew and was lovingly received back.

Without giving a lot of information she has been walking away from God with the wrong man and the wrong friends. Now that she has left the man she is longing for another relationship, she now feels lonely when she never had a problem with being alone.

I interpreted the dream as this.

She has missed God and wants Him back. He misses her and wants her back. I explained that sin looks and feels good that’s why we turn to it. But the relationship that she left God for was a false and empty one. The man was a nonbeliever who told her only what she wanted to hear then took from her things that she can’t ever get back. That’s what sin does to us. Sin changes who we are and it changes us forever.

I pointed out that the environment that we work in is hard to be in when you’re young because you want to fit in with those you think are the cool kids. You seek out friends and to be honest not very many of those that I work with are holding Christian values. She’s about to turn 21 and is looking forward to that step. I’m advising her to find a church and go back to God.

When we walk away from God knowing that the things we are doing is a sin is an offence to God, we are blessed that Jesus died so that she and I could walk away and run back to him.

Friday, August 24, 2007


Due to the fact that there are folks out there in computer land who want us to have stupid ads in our comment section we have word verification.

My old buddy salguod has a huge problem typing in the word verification. Now I have to admit that it takes me a couple of times once in a while but it sure is better them reading in the comment section I like your blog visit me @ myblogisanadforjunk we then have to go through the process of deleting the ad comment.

What can I do to make it better for salguod who has declared this to be evil?

Well I can teach him how to type the letters in.

  • Step one you look at the letters

  • Step two you type them in

  • Step three you push publish your comment

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Fairy Dust

My daughter and I have a little imaginary game that we play about fairies. She adores them and talks of them often. I love the idea of having tiny little creatures flying around so I play along.
The other night I pulled her over to me while I was reading and said that I had just seen a fairy in the other room. Her eyes lit up and the corners of her mouth brought that great smile she has.
Where? She inquired as she looked around as if she believed me.

In the formal dining room. Want to know how I know it was there?

Yes. She said wide eyed.

Well I was sitting here reading and such when I heard the tiniest little clink clink clink. Of course I looked up to see what it was.

Her eyes trained on the room. What did you see?

I saw a tiny little fairy in the chandelier and then I saw fair dust slowly falling to the floor. Looks like even they run into that thing.

She smile big and began to tell me the story of the little boy fairy that lives in her room. Seems he redeemed himself, he was a bad fairy but now he’s good.

That gives us hope to be saved because she has saved a bad fairy.

Some day I want to sneak in and paint a fairy in the corner of the ceiling in her room.

I like the idea of fairy dust and such. I love dancing in glitter, yes Milly has danced in glitter. When in high school my uncle dragged me to meet a college recruiter who wanted to give me a scholarship. Part way down the hall he realized that I was covered in glitter and not wearing shoes he tried to scold me but it was me so I wasn’t really scolded. I got the scholarship and made the guy laugh. My uncle laughed after the guy left.

Take the time to dance in glitter and watch fairies because you never know when your time will be to move on. Give yourself permission to play.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pray for my friend

A few short hours ago I received word that a long time family friend has died.

If you had ever met these folks you not forget them, they knew the definition of friend and hospitality, something that was given to everyone. Her parents were a couple made for each other, her mom died a bit over a year ago. Now she joins her and we’re worried about her father.

Please pray for him.

Monday, August 20, 2007

. . . and so I have more thoughts

I think I have a bit of an obsession with Judas. Actually after I posted on communion and had time to proof it a bit. I know I do that backwards but my time doesn’t always allow that. I sat back and realized that I have a bit of an obsession with Judas.

Could it be that I feel sorry for this guy?

It was prophesied that he would do this he anguished over what he had done
Jesus said that he would.

Did he do something that the weaker me might have done?
I’d like to think no way no how.

Was he possessed?

I wonder if he felt that he was always on the outside of the group.
Was he that tag along guy?

What makes a man betray his friend for a few pieces of silver?

Thursday, August 16, 2007

How do we communion?

Lots of post have been written about communion. Codepoke has written very moving posts on communion take the time to read them.

Missy has been thinking about communion.

All of this thought and the discussion got me thinking.

Is it to be a celebration or a mirthless occasion?

I’ve been told both.

I started to think of that "Last Supper"

What was the mood like?

Could you feel a shift in the air?

Did Jesus show any signs as to what was about to come?

And as I often do I made it my own

I began to think of what it might be like walking into that home for that meal.
Judas like a thief trying to hide what he had done. He stopped to look at his reflection in pool of water, he couldn’t help but see his treachery. Satan had been talking to him all along and now he has won. What was it inside him that made him give Jesus away for only a few pieces of silver? He tries to justify it as he walks in, look at Him always so perfect. He straitened himself and moved to his place.

Jesus washed their feet. That’s a big thing. Take the time to really read it, give it time to roll around in your mind. Have you ever walked into a room to have a meal with your friends and been surprised by having your feet washed?

I haven't

I realize that some of you know how I feel about feet so you might think sure Milly thinks it’s huge she wouldn’t do it. You know I don’t know now. I really gave this some thought. He not only washed their feet he washed the feet of those who would hurt him later and He knew it. He told them.

Now here’s the part where we are so set apart from Jesus. If those who were hurting me were about to have a meal I’d most likely not want to touch their dirty feet but if I did and I knew that they were going to betray me I’d have a bit of sarcasm in my tone when I spoke of some still being unclean. I might even smirk and look see if they might confess. I don’t believe that Jesus did such, it wasn’t in His heart. He knew that they were fulfilling the prophecy.

When He told them at that meal what they were going to do only one wasn’t surprise, he had already set the wheels in motion. I wonder if fear or anger gripped Judas? Hatred? What ever it was could it have been an emotion that he could hide?

A sociopath could hide it, I don’t think he was one.

The others might have sensed something in Judas except that Jesus was different that night. His words were cause for concern.

Did they look at each other thinking "It has to be him not me"

I doubt the mood was the usual one of talk of the day and listening to Jesus teach. This meal was different.

To celebrate or to mourn?

Still I don’t know.

Jesus gave His life for us for our sins His beautiful life. Jesus came to this earth knowing He’d go through all of it for us.

Humbled for sure.


Unworthy I don’t like thinking that because it almost feels like we don’t get it we don’t deserve Him and yet we don’t.

So I have no real words for the feeling that I feel that I should have for this moment. I do know that at times I make that meal of the Lord about me. For me. How can I make it about what it should be when I can’t put a word on it? It’s almost like trying to say YHWH you have to let the air out to say it. You have to let your breath of life out to say YHWH and breathe in new air, new life.


It’s a moment of giving, Jesus gave to us so we should celebrate His gift of life to us through His death.

I asked my son what he thought and being a wise young person who gives most things a bit of thought he said this about communion:

"All of God’s glory doesn't take place on the cross you need to focus on Jesus, on the examples He set for us."

This Sunday I will focus on what a gift I am receiving from Jesus not just from the cross but in all of God's glory.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I could end the world?!?

I’ve been told on more then one occasion this:


Wow now I want to push that button to test that theory.

Isn’t that just asking a person like me to vote for her?

Think about it I’m standing there and that little voice says "The world will end if you mark that ballot and Hillary wins."

A smile creeps over my face as I mark the rooster.



Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Pray for our KB and his love

Please take some time today to pray for Kansas Bob and his wife. She’s hanging out in the hospital and he’s riding shot gun with his computer.

We love ya and the wife KB

Monday, August 06, 2007

No Faith

So lose of faith in leadership isn’t anything new. I have lost it for those who lead this country and now those who lead at the church that I attend.

I think part of it is that I’m too close to some of the men. If I didn’t know them and their families I might not have the information. I might be a part of the flock that is blind to the truth and very happy to walk in those doors sit in that room and worship God. I now have to figure out how to let those men not be such an obstruction of my worship. I have to get back to God being the focus of my time.

What do you do when sin stands a few feet away?

How do you walk past someone who has hurt you and not focus on the pain?

No I won’t leave that church. My son loves it there and this is the time that he needs for a foundation with God. The boy will soon be fourteen I want him to be happy with the place he worships.

I know that we all sin and just because you are a shepherd in church doesn’t mean that you will stop sinning. I do think that it should hold you accountable and if you and your family aren’t in the right place that you should step down.

I also know that some of you are wondering if I have spoken to these men. One I confronted right away. The other I haven’t I want to be able to speak without showing anger that is one that needs work. I have a bit of a temper and when pushed far enough I tend to really let go.
For now I give it to God.

Ever have one of these moments?

I called my sister to talk about how the weekend is going to go down. I asked if she could talk not wanting to bother her when she was working. She was on her way back from lunch. We talked for a while then she said "I can’t find my cell phone" Milly said "Oh a" Then she laughed "I talking to you on it." She had walked all the way back to her car and searched for it in her purse. Sad thing it took me a few seconds to realize I was talking to her on it.


Friday, August 03, 2007

I got a pod

My new toy.


Step 4:
Sync Your iPod and charge the battery.

Step 1:
Install the software

Step 2:
Connect iPod and follow the set up assistant.

Ummmm am I missing something?
Are these written a bit odd?
Should step 4 be step 1?
Am I not geeky enough to get this process?

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Some nights my prayers feel like I’m listening to a Ken Nordin radio show.

This is a post that I wrote on Mon 13th, of March 2006
I was visiting Pearlie and discussing prayer.

I’ll be in bed talking to God then a noise will interrupt me, and I’ll wonder what it was . . .Is it the children? No. . . . Where was I? Praying, that’s right praying. The husband is snoring, . . .That noise again . . . Is it the dog? No . . . Here we go . . . Lord please . . . My husband had garlic for dinner, I’ll roll away from that odor. There goes the dryer. I need to fold those now so they don’t wrinkle. Does my son have clean jeans? That’s it now focus! I’ll yell in my head. Lord please forgive me for my lack of focus. I know that you want me to keep my . . . Was that the toilet flushing? Is someone sick? Lord Please forgive me of my sins . . . Did my son pack all of his stuff for school?

Ah hh . . . Why can’t I relax?I need to sit in front of my Bible open it and pray that God puts the scriptures in my brain so that on those garlic laced, toilet flushing, dog growling, dryer buzzing nights I can Be Still And Know That He Is God.

I whisper to myself just relax God is waiting for you to relax and talk to Him. I try again. Lord please keep my children safe at school . . . and so on.

Sometimes I have to admit I end up falling asleep before I have even finished my chat on what I want and /or need.. Some days I realize I haven’t taken the time to talk to God. I love the Sara Groves song “How Is It Between Us?” It’s not that I’ve forgotten Him. It’s that I have forgotten to go to Him today. No, I don’t believe it’s the same thing. I believe it’s us not stopping, not being still, us being Ken Nordinish, Music playing, someone talking, more music a different tune, water, more people talking someone whispering all at the same time. . . .

. . . .And standing with a smile and incredible smile is GOD being still and waiting for us to be still and talk to Him.
How it is between us
Album: Conversations
Artist: Sara Groves
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,the wrong side of the room,the wrong side of the world.
Can’t put my finger on the mood.It’s not melancholy, anger or the blues.
I love my husband, my house, my job.
Couldn’t be any better,and really what else is there?
Then I realize I’m forgetting God,and that’s the root of all my misery.
Lord, first of all, how is it between you and me?
How is it between us?
How is it between us?
When did I talk to you last,and what has happened since?
How is it between us?
How is it between us?
When did I talk to you last, and what has happened?
When I wake up I am on my way,reinventing the wheel and saving the day.
I have learned this lesson a thousand times,I am the branch, and you are the vine.
Apart from you we are mice and men,with our fancy dreams of grandeur and no way to get there.
Oh I can think about you now and then,or I can make a mark on eternity.
Lord first of all, how is it, between you and me?
So let the wicked prosper, let the oceans roar,let the mountains crumble, and fall into the sea.
There’s something more important weighing on my mind.
Lord first of all, how is it between you and me?

Help. . . . I need some tech help. . . .Please

Three post behind and counting. *-*
I need some tech help and yes I still have Codepokes helps saved. How do I put that nifty link thing in a post? If I wanted to say Codepoke had this to say you could click on the word this and go to his site. Some of my latest stuff screams for this.

Gotta heat up the shrimp for Miss Little beg the boy to eat something and fix my lunch before work and I think I need to check the laundry. I think the kids are going to visit Uncle Mark this week. I also need to hear why they are killing sharks just for the fins and that makes Miss Littles sad. Me too.

Monday, July 30, 2007

P&W is it a good thing?

It seems that once in a while someone has to discuss the P&W songs out in the blogdom so here’s my discussion.

I like some of the praise and worship songs. I really enjoy the ones that get our teems going. It’s great to hear them sing out.

What do you think of this song?

Is it a good thing to sing songs that have a bit of creative license if you are doing it to love the Lord?

I’m Trading My Sorrows
By Darrell Evans


Chorus 1
I’m trading my sorrows,
I’m trading my shame,
I’m laying them down
for the joy of the Lord.
I’m trading my sickness,
I’m trading my pain,
I’m laying them down
for the joy of the Lord.

Chorus 2
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;

Verse 1
(Solo)I’m pressed but not crushed,
persecuted, not abandoned,
struck down,
but not destroyed;
I’m blessed
beyond the curse,
for His promise will endure,

that His joy’s gonna be my strength.

Though the sorrow
may last for the night,
His joy comes with the morning.

I’m trading my sorrows,
I’m trading my shame,
I’m laying them down
for the joy of the Lord.
I’m trading my sickness,
I’m trading my pain,
I’m laying them down
for the joy of the Lord.

Chorus 2

Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;

Chorus 2

Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;
Yes, Lord, yes, Lord
yes, yes, Lord;

Though the sorrow
may last for the night,
His joy comes with the morning.

I’m trading my sorrows,
I’m trading my shame,
I’m laying them down
for the joy of the Lord.
I’m trading my sickness,
I’m trading my pain,
I’m laying them
down for the joy of the Lord.



Oh-Oh, Amen
Oh-Oh, Amen

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Little Swimmer

Today while I watched Miss Littles swim I realized that we have to learn to swim. Sure you can put a baby in the pool and it will instinctively hold it’s breath but only for a short time then it will drown. I watched her as she swam across the pool smiling with pride at her accomplishments of learning to breath at just the right time in just the right way with her arms and legs working together as one great little fish making the water its home.

Watching her made me think of God and how we are born with Him in us. He knew us before we were born heck He knew us before our parents knew each other, we were His. So as children we might have realized that God was God and we might have thought we knew who He was but we didn’t really know because we hadn’t learned yet how to love. Sure on a basic level we knew love like Miss Littles knows love for Uncle Mark and those around her but she has yet to test that love. She hasn’t learned all of the moves of love. The heart breaks, the highs, the lows, and the wonders. She doesn’t know to put this arm here, that foot there, paddle, and breath. She hasn’t learned to read this and pray and to ask for forgiveness of sin. She doesn’t know yet of God’s endless love. She hasn’t been tested nor has she tested it.

I do believe that we are tested.

I knew a woman who said that she was nearer to God when she lived in another country with maids and didn’t have an autistic child. She had lots of time to be with God. I believe that she was further from God, living without the struggles of life. At seven Miss Littles has faith that she is safe in that pool because she can see the instructor. If she starts to sink an arm is there ready to pull her up. If we as adults start to sink we must swim our way back to Him, sure I believe He gives us the ability to get to Him but we must do some of the work to find the safety of His arms.

We swim by faith.

Now I know that you science smart types can explain exactly how we can swim without sinking and how we can rest on our backs without finding the bottom of the pool. However, it’s by faith that we enter that water. And once we figure out that we can stay afloat then we are fine with the diving board and the big slide we know that the water can be mastered. We learn to have faith in God because we know the world around us can be mastered.

Sometimes we all go under and we take in a bit of water but because we’ve learned how to have faith and love in God we can stay afloat.
So tonight I take a big breath of air and just keep swimming.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Feel the chages

I have to admit that I haven’t been in church in the last two Sundays. Part is because I’ve been in need of sleep and part because I’m just not feeling it. Saturday night I didn’t get home from work until after 11pm. By the time I showered and relax it was after midnight. I tried to sleep but it seemed that the clock was taunting me. You now will only get four hours of sleep and so on. I had to be up at 4:30 am for a meeting. Naturally I was awake before the alarm sounded a Michael W. Smith song so I got up early and drove to work. Now what on earth was I thinking? No way was anyone going to be there to open the doors for me so I drove by my grandmother’s old house. We spent an endless amount of hours there when we were kids sliding down the hills, jumping off the porch over the bushes, walking to the little store for Chocolate Soldiers, running to the gas station for Mountain Dew, granny always kept change in a little clear change purse for us. That was a time before parents worried about how much sugar and caffeine their children had. You could play outside in that neighborhood without the worry of what some stranger might do. Heck the biggest worries were us disturbing the neighbors, rubbing the grass off the ground with the seat of our pants as we slid down the little hills, and wearing holes in our pants.

My cousin and her husband wanted to buy the old place for a rent house. I’m kind of glad they didn’t. It wouldn’t look or smell the same. The smell of those pears she ordered seemed to welcome us to the back porch room.

No, things are made to change.

I think that’s why I’ve not been feeling it. Things have changed and I’m not ready to except those changes.

I had to be back at work this afternoon so I headed home after the meeting. My husband called me to see when I might show up to see our son off for his next adventure. His sister told him not to get dehydrated this time. I had to laugh at that, she zinged him and good. I had lunch with my family told everyone goodbye and headed off to work. It wasn’t too bad tonight only one rude man and those are his issues not mine.

The changes are just changes and I know that I shouldn’t let those things stop me from worshiping God but I’ll be darned if I don’t find myself thinking about them as I walk in the building. I know that I need to take it apart and flip it around to see what I might do to stop this road block between me and God. I’ll need to accept the church changes. That I can do, it’s not about where you sit it’s about where your heart is.

The change in a friendship, in a heart, now that’s another thing and that is something a bit harder to do. I’m not very good at being direct when it comes to saying to others exactly how I feel. I tend to try to act like nothing is wrong and pray that it heals itself. This wound is so big now that it won’t heal on it’s own. I just don’t know how to start the healing process.

I pray for wisdom and healing. God will guide me, he always has.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Our Finial Scene

In the video below we see Don Giovanni going to hell.

Distraught, Elvira enters and begs Giovanni to repent, but he dismisses her contemptuously. As she leaves, she screams in terror — the stone guest has arrived. Leporello hides. The statue speaks: "Don Giovanni, you have invited me to supper." The statue invites Giovanni to supper in return, which Giovanni accepts by giving his hand to the statue. The moment the statue seizes his hand, Don Giovanni feels pain and terror, and eventually is dragged down to hell. The other principals appear and sing the moral of the story: As you live, so shall you die.

I’ve heard several Christians say that they don’t believe in hell that God just wouldn’t do that to his children.

I’ve read several passages that make me believe that there is a hell and it ain’t a place that I ever want to be.

Do you believe in hell?

Do you think that those who don’t believe in hell are tender hearted or afraid?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Don Giovanni: The Commandatore Scene

Bryn Terfel.
Some day I want to hear him in person.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I try

I try I honestly try to be a nice person. Lately it’s been taking a bit more effort then usual. You know I love how people are for the most part. They tickle me with the way they can act at times.

It seems lately that I’m being tested. Earlier this month I was training a woman that the crew dubbed "Twitchy" she’s called that because she acted as if she were tweaking, you may not know what that means, she looked like she was in need of a score of her drug of choice. I was training for the second day and she was twitching and not understanding it very well, I work in a high stress area so I understand that it may take a bit to be on every need quickly. I sat behind her watching and helping one of my bosses was standing next to me and we were talking. I look at this wiggling woman and told her to try to anticipate what the needs of the customers are. Keep an eye out for those with heavy or bulky items. She looked at me and said it’s too much she quit. The boss and I said ok. She then preceded to tell one of the other newbees that she was left there alone. I was about a two feet or so away from her. Had she shown any amount of potential I would have tried to convince her to take a break and try again.

This weekend I had a huffer trying to score a can of silver spray paint. No big thing, they pay and go and I say a prayer in my head that they stop. This one was hard he had trouble counting his money and preceded to ask folks for money. I had no choice but to tell him sternly that he couldn’t do that. I then called my MOD to escort him out. He paid and escorted out. How far this man has fallen from his moments. I was a surprised at how hard that hit me. I was so stern with him I felt as if I gave him no grace at all, I know it’s my job to stop him from bothering people but he is a man.

The doctor’s office called and left a message for me to call back. I knew when my husband told me to call his nurse back that something wasn’t good about my x-rays. Now I get to see another doctor. I also get to take several pills a day for pain.

Those pain pills knock me funny and loopy. Last night was movie night and we got to bed rather late. I took the pills and fell to sleep when I woke I felt like I was in a fog but still I had to be in church to help plus I needed to take the kids because my husband had to be in even earlier. I took the am pill after I ate and waited for it to level a bit. I was slow at the slides and a bit giggley. When I walked my daughter to class I noted that my sister wasn’t in class yet so I checked on her and began to set up for her. I then walked back to the booth my husband looked at me and said you look as if you’re going to pass out go home and sleep. That I did until it was time for work.

I arrived at work to find a huge mess and no one really caring. Then I had to train another new person this one wanted to read magazines and talk to the guys that were hanging around the pretty new girl. When she was working she wasn’t paying attention to what was going on and several times I had to ask her to stop pushing buttons. I did ask her to help at one point interrupting her reading I knew it was going to buy me time until I could get to the woman to actually help her. The girl walked away without a word and went on break, my boss called me to tell me she was in the break room. She told my boss I didn’t want her around. My boss told her I just needed her to help instead of reading a magazine. My mood got better once things were cleaner and the girl was gone. I even at one point apologized for the mood. I let her know I hated seeing a mess like that. Here’s a kicker this one was hired to me one of my bosses and as I asked her boss "How much respect do you think I have right now for her?"

"Oh none" was the answer

I had a couple of fun guys in tonight so that helped.

TGIM I’m ready for a better week.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Aerosmith Steven Tyler Singing Amazing Grace

When I was in high school my friends talked me into seeing Areosmith in concert. At one point I was within reaching distance of the guys, I honestly could have stopped them and asked for an autograph right before they took the stage but really didn’t care. The performance that night was horrible they were go drugged up that they couldn’t keep it together.

This one surprised me I knew that he has made some changes.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Where's the rock for the kids?

The church I attend has been doing something a bit different with VBS for the past two years. It has changed it to Wednesday nights through the summer. I volunteered when I could in the past and love being the snack lady. Once we did a lava theme I brought a chunk of lava that had Hawaiian diamonds in it and let them feel the rock to show how rough it is. If you’ve ever been snorkeling in the tide pools on the Big Island you’ll know that they can shred you. I then passed a container of green sand and black sand and showed then how smooth it is from the water. I most likely don’t have to tell you where I went with the illustration of how God makes us smooth with water.

When I was a kid I attended VBS and still have those memories in my head of felt Jesus. I’m so glad to see that the VBS of the past is gone and we now have puppets, music, theme based snacks and so on.

I do have a point to telling about our VBSs. A great deal of the children that attended in the past were from our community or kids that were at friends or families house for a visit during the summer. We were an outreach for the kids. Now it seems that I’m not seeing as many new faces. What happened to VBS being an outreach? I will say that many volunteer and put on a VBS in another area so that they can have what our children have so we do have folks reaching out to those around us.

I spoke to some folks who were gathering things for their churches VBS about reaching the community. They had some really cool ways that I’d love to see more of. A bag of popcorn placed in a bag and hung on a door with the saying "Popping in to invite you . . .. ." A Kool-Aid package with something about having Kool time at VBS put on doors to invite kids.

The church where my son meets for Boy Scouts has a concession stand and charges money. This is a huge church and from what I hear they seemed surprised to see kids for outside the church attend their VBS. Are they alone in this or is the trend to take VBS away from the community?

I also realize that some parents did the drop and go thing but at least the kids got a bit of God in that week. You never know if that young person will be sitting on a bench on campus, thinking of what path to take, might think when he sees a rock on the ground and think about how smooth God could make him with the water.

Does your church use VBS as on outreach?

A time to pray

I think it’s once again a time to pray for those in need please feel free to add to the list I will up date when I can.

The nice young man that has fallen away from God, I pray that my words and God will lead him back.

My friend who is working so hard to be a support for his children. Stay strong friend and know when to lay it at God’s feet. I’ll always be here to listen if you need me.

My friend who is stripping down her marriage so that they can be stronger.
KB and his wife.

KB’s son and his family. Being away is hard enough but to be in a war is unimaginable to some of us.

Ozz and his family.

Doug, we miss you and pray that all is well with you and your family.


Pinkakidion we are praying for you and your wonderful family


My cousin and his children dealing with divorce.

Missy said...
I'll join you in prayer for these people.Add a friend fighting colon cancer,a cousin in a bitter unwanted divorce, and so many lost children (in many different ways

Monday, July 09, 2007


I believe that each of us have different feelings on who gets our respect and how they earn it.
My bosses come with an amount of respect because they are my bosses. If they make a choice to do something to take some of that respect away then they naturally lose some respect from me.

I thought about the guys that I’ve been attracted to in the past and what attracted me to them and why.

My father worked and he worked hard. He didn’t job hop we never worried about what dad was going to have to do to keep us fed. Dad also worked odd jobs for extra money. He hunted and fished not just because he enjoyed those thing but to help keep his family fed.

When I look back at the guy I dated in high school he was a hard worker. BS was in college with a full time job. He was working on his pilot’s licence and loved jumping out of airplanes. He played french horn with the symphony, played basketball with the guys at his church, ran several miles every morning then went home and cooked breakfast for himself. Most of all he knew God.

Two of guys I dated in college worked one had a welding business in high school the other worked to help support his parents. Both knew God.

BK is a man with a brilliant mind he worked hard to get where he is today. He was a sweet man.
T worked a full time job, owned his own business, and was in the reserve. Yes he went to war. T hated not working it made him feel as if he wasn’t a man if he wasn’t working.

Then there is my husband a man who works hard. He was going to college and working when I met him. He got a job with the company shortly after we met, he got the job because he called them several times until they put him to work. The man would get up every morning go to work then come home shove food down, shower, and dash off to school. We spent weekends with me reading his text books and quizzing him. When we’d drive to my parents house I had the book in my hands reading them to him. He spends several hours a week in the church fixing things helping to set up for worship. He goes to friends houses to help them. He loves to have friends from church in our home.

See the man works hard something that my dad did.

But work isn’t enough is it a paycheck doesn’t listen to you children. That almighty dollar doesn’t tickle the giggle kids. It doesn’t lay in bed at night with me listening to my fears or my joys.

You must have balance he has to be a man who wants to seek God. He has to be a man who loves me, who respects me. One who will love and support in all ways his family.
That’s a man who has my respect.

I’ve spent some time reading some of you guys and I’ve gotten to know a couple of you you have my respect. Keep being good dads.

Casting Crowns-American Dream

This is one of my son's favs.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Ouch! I was tagged by KB.

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Here are the Milly facts:

  • Food: Yes I like food. Not too picky. I love Mexican, Chinese, and the brick oven pizza place.

  • Family: One teenage son, one seven year old daughter, one husband for nineteen years, one dog, one brother, one sister, one niece. Sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws and bunch of nieces and nephews, yes I’m a great aunt on my husband’s side.

  • Exercise: I so should do that

  • Profession: Home Improvement store

  • Obsession: Do we really realize we’re obsessed? Now that's gonna bug me for a good long time.

  • Faith: I believe in God and Jesus, I believe He put me on this path and I chose to stay on it or take a wrong turn. I want to stay on it.

  • Ailments: Migraines I can’t remember when they started I just remember always having them.

  • Games: Cards.

Now I need to tag others.
Byevad, Larry, Laymond, Ron, Pearlie, Missy, my brother Mark, and you who wants to be tagged.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Beverly Sills and Danny Kaye opera parody!

What a cherished memory I have of seeing Beverly Sills many years ago.

God Bless the men and women who have given so much to protect us.

Thank you for being caretakers of our freedom.

Peace to those families who have waited for loved ones to come home.

May all come home safely soon.

No matter what you believe about this war these are folks who have people who love them, these people aren’t numbers they are human lives, sons and daughters, moms and dads, some are our friends, some our past loves all of them need to come home.

As you watch those fireworks please take a moment to pray for peace.

Please pray that they all come home safely.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Temper, ill, or possessed?

Tuesday night a friend dropped her kids off for a while to play with my kids while she went to listen to her husband’s band play. When she came to pick up her young ones we stared to talk about the headlines being full of men murdering family lately. She said that she thought that they just become so demon possessed that they kill. I wasn’t raised in a family that spoke of such things as being possessed by demons and in reading the Bible I thought of those beings as something in the past and definitely bad horror movies. I had looked at those Hollywood creatures as jokes or just something I didn’t want to see.

Are these men possessed?

Does it describe the possessions in the Bible as being that evil to you?

I don’t find where it says that they were murdering the family.

What I think is that we have to find a nice neat reason to rationalize these things so that we can sleep at night in peace. If we are in Christ then a demon can’t be in us so no problem here and we rest in peace. Hmmm sorry bad way of saying it. We sleep at night thinking all is well.
As I began reading what others have written on this subject I realized that many think if you have some illness then you have a demon. That is a difficult burden on those who believe that. I knew a lady who felt her child would be healed if she weren’t holding back from God. I couldn’t hold that burden and I’m sure that God doesn’t want me to have to hold that burden.

If all illnesses are demon possessions then why aren’t Christians exempt from getting sick?

I would have rather had my body heal itself then deal with surgery but it wasn’t going to happen. I don’t believe it was a demon in me that caused my body to fail like that. To lay blame on a demon seems to be saying it wasn’t a thing and we in life have to deal with things.
Blaming demons for our bodies and tempers just don’t seem to cut it with me.

We weren’t put here to be perfect.

That’s right we were set up to fail and fail we must. Fail we must some of you are raising an eyebrow or two right now. Yes. You are going to fail and when you do how you react and how you recover is key. Did you walk away from God when things went wrong in your life and did you stay away?

God waits for us to pick our stupid selves up and run to Him.
It’s key that we get up and go to Him don’t stop to dust yourself off God will make you clean.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Emerson Drive -

I've Had My Moments

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Last night I began to think about a woman that I worked with many years ago and how great she was. I began to think about the women who have been an influence in my life and why.
Here’s a list and what they have shown me.

  • Jo- Gave me a view from a single mother raising great children. She worked two jobs and not once did she feel the need to ask for a handout. She’s a great God loving women.

  • Miss Mary- She has grace and a wonderful way of giving you love. I ran away when I was a little one and went right to her. We lived all that way next door.

  • Kathy-Courage and the ability to work hard. She has shown me that you can live anywhere.
    Mom- She knew how to make you feel comfortable always willing to make coffee. I was her favorite and she was my best friend.

  • Aunt Mary-She gave me the theater.

  • Granny C.- Dignity , you don’t chew gum in public. She gave me opera and classical music.

  • Granny B- Hugs and mischief. That’s where I get it from.

  • My sister- Drive, she wants it she works for it. She doesn’t bend the rules. She loves children.

  • Vicki- She’s what a boss should be. I learned to get to know my staff because she got to know me.

  • Aunt J. & Aunt B.- Loud and loving even when they are so wrong.

  • My sister-in-law- She had just joined this family when mom left us we were so blessed to have someone take care of us. She named her child after me and a wonderful child she is. My sister-in-law is fun and smart. (I so could say something about ya bro.)

  • My Mother-in-law-Raised seven kids while her husband worked several jobs to support them then went to work herself. Both of them cancer survivors.

    There are so many people who come and go in our lives some stay for a long time others touch us for a moment but we are changed by them. Those women gave me things that I will always treasure. I’m sure that I have more to add to the list but these are the ones that came to mind first.

I thank God for sending me people to learn from.

Friday, June 22, 2007


It’s odd how you can find people that you connect with. You ones that you get that feeling in you gut when something is amiss. I have this connection with more than one friend. A few day ago I was talking with a friend and kept saying Arizona. Not a big deal except she use to live there. I then heard her name several times in several different ways. I did call and leave a message that I wanted to speak to her. Tonight I called back her daughter told me she was in the hospital. I wish that we could have spent more time talking but she wasn’t up to it. She a strong woman so I know that God is holding her hand.

Do you have friends that you connect with no matter where they are?

Thursday, June 21, 2007


As a Christian we are to turn the other cheek and I try to do just that. Today I turned the other cheek only to have it smacked, damn now I have two sore cheeks.

I work with a nut of a person. She has tried to fight with several of us and customers. They move her around in hopes that they can manage her behavior. For the second time she went at me I chose to walk away to do my job the lady I was helping seemed to think she was crazy as she rambled on and on about how I won’t speak to her about this issue. I have no problem resolving issues if I’m not on the phone making a page for someone and helping people.

Today the woman decided that me being nice to her wasn’t right so I shouldn’t be nice.

Ummm what???

She then decided to tell her version of what she thought might make her look better. Dropping the issue makes you look better. I told them the truth thus calling her a liar.

Ummmm ok what????

I keep getting told that she is being canned so I should hold on.
My cheeks are getting real sore and this test is getting harder.

This is what I keep saying to myself-

Matthew 5:39 TNIV
But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

Luke 6:29 TNIV ChapterIf someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt.

Love for Enemies
Luke 6:25-28 NIV

27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.