Thursday, July 30, 2009

My sis and me

Here I am sitting in the hospital watching my big sis sleep.
It seems like a dream one really bad dream.

I thought I’d tell you a bit about her.

Memz is a single woman who worked hard to get where she is, but that’s only a small part of who she is.

Let’s start with something from childhood.

Thanks Jason for the reminder of those little moments.

We grew up sharing a room.
At night we’d play that game. If you shared a room you know the one. Ours went like this.

You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
Dad’s voice GIRLS!!!!!
Shhhh turn off the light
You turn off the light
You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
THUMP THUMP THUMP Dad’s footsteps
(Whispers) Now you’ve done it
(Whispers) Not me you
Door is opened man with disapproving look turns off the light.
Girls giggle because they know that daddy loves them and smiled as he walked away.

I’m praying that the light stays on for years to come.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Please pray

Please pray for my sister.

She’s facing a giant . . . .CANCER.

. . . .and yes we are vary afraid.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Fear not! I'm afraid and proud of it!

Fear is a wondrous thing to me. If we actually own up to it we fear a lot of things. Some of those are rational fears some are irrational. The cool thing is that God knows us. He knew that we would have all kinds of fear.

The word fear is in the NIV Bible over three hundred times.

Everyone has thorns with their roses. Yes I think that strife and fear are on the same subject line. Not having enough money to pay the bills brings fear. Will the water get shut off? What about food for my children? If you’ve never had to worry about the basics in life then you’re blessed but not as blessed as those who have been hungry only to be fed. God has always seen that I be taken care of from a roof over my head to a meal when hungry. I learned more about how wonderful humans are when I lived on my own. I’m sure that the blessing will continue now that I’m single again.

Divorce brings fear.

I was afraid to stay with this man who told me how horrible it was to be with me. He let me know that I never met his expectations and he told me every day that we were together. He didn’t say it outright every day but he let me know by slamming a door or an object. I felt that he hated the very sight of this house it was his prison and that those of us inside held the keys to his freedom.

When he told me that he wouldn’t leave her for me I knew it was done. I still tried, after all twenty years of marriage doesn’t go gently into that good night. It yells, cries, and pounds its fists. It says things that hurt beyond repair.

I remember the moment that I knew I was done he chose to kiss the dog goodbye instead of me. The dog was once again put in front of me. At least it wasn’t her text messaging or a call. Many times we would be talking and that woman would have to hunt him down. Good grief it was as if she knew we were together. Her marriage was sinking so why not help mine go down with it. On my way to work I made the call to my sister-in-law and my brother to help me find a good attorney. My sis-in-law is an attorney and my brother is a lobbyist. My sis’n law listened to me tell my story. She understood and was just what I needed at that moment and many after.

Many times I would show up at church looking, as my friends have told me, beat down and as if the world was on my shoulders. I sat in the booth and cried. “G” just worked around me as if nothing were wrong once in awhile asking me to push a button or turn something on. Others hugged me giving words of encouragement. I didn’t tell anyone for a while, actually the news paper told a few. I was afraid to tell them and I was afraid to tell my children. I said something to the worship minister in front of my minister, I think it was about working out at an apartment workout room. My minister led me out of the room and confronted me about the divorce. He told me that he and his wife were sorry and if I need anything to please let them know. His wife found me where I usually hang out at on Wednesday nights. She related the same as the minister I told her that I was doing alright she cried and told me she wasn’t. My fears of telling people at church were gone. They loved me and would give me what I needed. support.

I was afraid about taking care of the house. I’m handy but not at everything. I was told this week that whatever help I needed was a phone call away.

Telling my children was hard Miss Littles was devastated and held me as she cried. God has sent us friends who understand and live right next door. They know too well. Miss Littles and her friend have spent the summer together. They are swimmer as we speak. I have a friend who gets all those fears and tries to solve them or at least listen. It’s good to have Christian friends next to us. I’ve been told by the Miss Little Friend several times that they are glad that we are Christians. So am I God has held me through all of this.

One friend has let me cry on his shoulder, so to speak, and has met a lady who makes his heart thump. I miss him but what a joy to know that we can be so devastated, so afraid, and then be given love and hope.

I think I may be ready to date again but that brings a whole new set of fears. After all I was told how I didn’t measure up every day for almost twenty years.

I learn from fear. At times I was afraid of being hit by him. I was afraid of how the judge was going to rule, I was afraid of my children falling apart, I was afraid of what people might think. I was afraid of lots of things and it seemed all the things around me. Then the morning came and the sun came in a beautiful new painting from God and it was a new day to wade through those fears.

I’ll write about feeling stupid some day, after all it wasn’t his first. It was, however, the last one I have to deal with in my marriage.

So if you are afraid know that you aren't alone. God has your back and I'm praying for you.

If you need to vent fear/fears you are welcome to do it here. You don’t have to say who you are. We (those who visit will spend time here.) will pray for you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

From the Realm

Fun from Pearce and Story

I feel that I was able to delve into who I was in doing this. Yes now with their help I can save a ton of cash on therapy.

Thank you dudes!

1) Movie theater Junior Mints vs. Movie theater Goobers
Junior Mints-Chocolate and mint duh this is an easy one.
Kevin rent from Red Box for a dollar and purchase candy at Walgreens for a dollar only two bucks for a nice movie night.

2) Trip to the Beach vs. Trip to the Mountains
I love the beach and my kids could spend the day on the sand. I’m allergic to the sun so I have to give in to itching and tossing my lunch. The mountains are my pick. I wanted to hike while in Alaska. God created both but a backpack is more me.

3) Elliptical Machine vs. Treadmill
Treadmill I love to run and miss it. I’m still working on the knee.

4) Spring vs. Autumn
Both are great but autumn has the wonderful smell of leaves and rest for the earth.

5) Milk Chocolate vs. Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate do I need to explain why?

6) Interstate vs. Scenic highway
Take the time to enjoy the road less traveled. It’s worth the journey

7) Savage tan vs. SPF50
SPF50 plus I don’t look like I’m almost 48 and I intend to keep it the way by staying out of the sun.

8) Being sad vs. Being scared
I’ve been scared a bit. ;-} In my life and it isn’t fun. Sadness is something I over come rather well.

9) 2 ten dollar bills vs. 1 twenty dollar bill
I want all of the money. But a larger bill makes you think more.

10) Birkenstocks vs. Crocks
I have crocks in 100 plus degrees they are hot so I want to try something new

11) Bad odor vs. Bad taste
I smell stinky people at work. I have fans blowing on me and at least once a day some stinky man stands in front of it. Plus some don’t worry about breath. However, I would have to taste something bad.

12) Ripped pants vs. Wet shirt
Wet shirt is easy to dry and I might win. ;-}

13) Belching vs. Flatulence
Come on a burp is easy to forgive and less embarrassing

14) Chicken salad sandwich vs. Tuna salad sandwich
Chicken salad when done right is so yummy. Walnuts, cranberries, etc. I know what I want for lunch

15) Classic styles vs. Trendy styles
Classic I’m too old to be trendy. Plus I never really was trendy. I’ve just gotta be me.

16) Old friend vs. New friend
Funny about this one both have been a blessing to me lately but the old one is a treasure to hold on to.

17) Dolphin vs. Porpoise
Dolphin I don’t know why. Could be becausse I've been closer to dolphins.

18) Water slide vs. Roller coaster
Roller coaster. I like the rush the ups and downs and the metaphor of life that comes to mind. Plus I don’t end up in a pool that other kids have warmed.

19) Jules Verne vs. Robert Louis Stevenson
Jules Verne is a must read. But I do like Stevenson.

20) Goatee vs. Soul Patch
Soul patch. So hot!

21) Being the recipient of a thoughtful gesture vs. Being the recipient of a compliment
Both are nice but when I’m given a gift I feel that I need to do something back and feel guilty when I can’t.

22) Nap on the couch vs. Nap in a hammock
Couch because a hammock means I’m sleeping outside during the day and I get sick and stuff.

23) Holidays vs. Vacation
Vacation because I get to explore a new world.

24) Aisle vs. Window
Window means I can see the world

25) Slapstick vs. Wit
Wit means you have intelligence

26) Logic vs. Emotion
You need balance on this one but I picked emotion.

27) Whipped cream vs. Cool Whip
Whipped cream taste is everything

28) High School Reunions vs. Family Reunions
I see my family a lot so high school, I was class clown, with the paper staff, yearbook photographer and assistant editor, a cheerleader (For a boy named Bill), and got along with all the groups in my class. I’d love to see them again.

29) ALF vs. ET
ALF the wit was great ET was odd.

30) Canadians vs. Australians
(Not taking sides)

31) Gifts vs. Gift Certificates
I’ve been burned so let me do the shopping and I’ll make it something special or needed.

32) Jet skiing vs. Water skiing
Because it’s a summer sport I’ll be in the cabin cooking for you folks

33) Yardwork vs. Housework
I’d love to do the yardwork but the summer is out. So it’s housework hmmm clearly I haven’t do either.

34) Ostentatious vs. Precocious
Precocious. Come on you have to know why

35) Phone call vs. Email
I love to talk. Kevin knows that. ;-} Those who encounter me at 6am know it. The guy on the help line for the cable company knows. I made him laugh. A good thing for a call center dude.
Call me.

36) Winning the lottery vs. Finding buried treasure
God let me know that I will not ever win the lottery or win at the casino. Buried treasure is an adventure. I’ll take the adventure anytime.

37) Sweating vs. Shivering
Shivering I’m a winter gal. I don't have a winter coat because I like being cold.

38) “Oh no, you di-unt.” vs. “Don’t even go there.”
“Oh no, you di-unt.” Its’ fun to say

39) Blue ink vs. Black ink
Blue is bold

40) Ukelele vs. Bag pipes
Bag pipes

41) Rainbows vs. Sunbeams
Sunbeams. I love to see them. However, sliding down the rainbow from the mist is a good thing.

42) The sound of your own voice vs. The way you look in photos
All the world is a stage and I want better lighting. The sound of me.

43) Extremely firm handshake vs. Extremely weak handshake
Firm a weak one is icky feeling

44) Runny nose vs. Nagging cough
I can blow my nose

45) Packing vs. Unpacking
Where am I going? Clearly from the way things look here packing.

46) A hole in the toe of your sock vs. A hole in the seat of your underwear
I can’t walk around with my toe poking out. I can cover my bottom with my pants and you can't see.

47) Zoos vs. Botanical gardens
Zoo. I love the Tulsa zoo it has a special place in my heart I took classes and so did my kids.

48) Trip to the dentist vs. Tax day
Dentist I’ve had a bit of work done and will need a bit more.

49) Awkward comment vs. Awkward silence
Awkward silence. Because I just made the comment and just letting it go is easier.

50) Too much Rich vs. Too little Rich
We love the Rich!

Wait a minute. Were #49 and #50 redundant?

No I said something that made everyone shut up.

Diabolical Genius said...
"Oh no, you di-unt." The first, but I'm sure not the last, preference for less Rich. This is obviously your lucky week then. ;-)Wasn't a real question. Just a thinly-veiled jab at the R-man. (Much like above.)Interesting that you prefer bad odor to bad taste, but belching over flatulence. You are an enigma shrouded in mystery and wrapped in a riddle, Milly. But the Diabolical Genius sees all.Not taking sides on Canadians vs. Australians? Hmm. So you clearly side with the Swiss then.More detailed analysis to come.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Oklahoma is hot!

It's very hot here but at sea it's like that.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Cool Cool Alaska

We are back in Oklahoma
I'll have a bunch more photos and things to say after I rest.