Steel life

Stainless steel greets the opening of my tomb . . .

my solace . . .

my haven

My resolve fades

My time to release . . .

once again I'm in this box

I kick the wall and allow tears to caress my face

When the doors open I pull myself together and find my car

I’d like to know why but God won’t tell me . . .

not now . . .

not on this earth . . .

And someday it won’t matter

I know I’m strong enough

I have no choice to be anything else

Tonight I tell my children

When morning comes with a jolt of reality from a sweet dream

I once again will stand in front of the steel doors

I allow not one tear after the first night when we both let them flow

Gone to walk with God

This morning my sister's body gave up it's fight. I'll miss her till the day I join her with our Lord

My sis and me

Here I am sitting in the hospital watching my big sis sleep.
It seems like a dream one really bad dream.

I thought I’d tell you a bit about her.

Memz is a single woman who worked hard to get where she is, but that’s only a small part of who she is.

Let’s start with something from childhood.

Thanks Jason for the reminder of those little moments.

We grew up sharing a room.
At night we’d play that game. If you shared a room you know the one. Ours went like this.

You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
Dad’s voice GIRLS!!!!!
Giggles
GIRLS!!!!
Shhhh turn off the light
You turn off the light
You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
THUMP THUMP THUMP Dad’s footsteps
(Whispers) Now you’ve done it
(Whispers) Not me you
Door is opened man with disapproving look turns off the light.
Girls giggle because they know that daddy loves them and smiled as he walked away.

I’m praying that the light stays on for years to come.

Please pray

Please pray for my sister.

She’s facing a giant . . . .CANCER.

. . . .and yes we are vary afraid.

Face it

Last weekend my dad threw another fish fry. I’m not sure how many people were there but I guesstamated at around 50. Many were faces that I hadn’t seen in years several I didn’t know.

Faces are awesome and a blessing from God.

When my cousin, a professional wildlife photographer, said he wanted his wife and I to pose together she asked if he would remove the wrinkles.

I looked over at Miss M. and smiled.

Look at that face and those hands.

Hands that feed children who wanted to grow up too fast or needed love.

Hands that taught them how to cook a meal for children to come.

I wonder how many young people went home and proudly showed a parent that they could cook and clean.

Look at her face, I know I did when I ran away from home that one and only time. . .all that way up the hill for love, a coke, and candy then to be sent home.

How many children did that sweet smile comfort when they felt lost?

I look at that face and hold those hands and feel blessed.


No, I won’t be doing much to stop the lines from my face that God had blessed me with.

Back and read this

The boy is back in school!

He's not happy to be but I am glad to see him on a cane and back in school.

For some tear jerk'n reading

http://notassweetasiusedtobe.blogspot.com/


Ok so I cry.
If Danny still read us he'd cry I think I'll send it to him

It’s going to be a crazy week

. . . so I thought I might need to say something before it takes off.

My dad will be in the hospital
&
My son will get news from his surgeon

Peace and prayers are needed.
Life is about change and adapting. God has given us the tools needed and so I will use them no matter the path.

Some days I want to chase butterflies.
I want to dance in the rain
I want to sleep and dream
I want to lay in the green grass and day dream the day away
But alas my alarm sounds and I get to living in the real world.

I hope you have a nice week full of good wishes

Bits of Tulsa History

The Waterworks Art Studio

Miss Littles took an art class across from this home. I’ve grown up wondering about this place and I’m happy to see that I can take a tour of the cave house. It was said to be built as a restaurant/ speak-easy. But there is no proof because the secret door can’t be found. The place has been there since the 1920’s. I hear it’s haunted. I also hear that Pretty Boy Floyd like the place.

http://cavehousetulsa.com/index.html

I don't work very far from the art studio so I took some time to explore. I'll be looking taking more photos of the places that caught my eye in the future.

This is the oldest house in Tulsa still in existence. It sure tells us how much we don't need to live.

a life time. . .

There’s a million things that I should be doing tonight.
Worship slides
house work
packing for my dad’s
talking to God
writing thank you notes
but here I am posting.....

I haven’t finished the worship slides because I haven’t started them yet. I’m not sure what the picture theme will be yet. I’ll know it when I get there.

I need to tidy up the house so that it won’t be such a chore when I am laying around.
The kids and I are hanging out with my dad for a few days while I recover a bit. He’s a good daddy and was always great at taking care of me and the kids when we were sick.
We always need our special God time.

I owe a few folks note of thanks. Some for bringing church to us one Sunday night. If you know the church that I attend the guy playing the guitar are sitting in my family room. One of my friends brought us dinner one night. And several have called and sent notes. It’s great to have a church family. If you doubt the value of having one come hang with us for a while, we’ll show you.

The biggest reason that I love my job is because I love the people and I love seeing how they react to life. The social psychology major want-a-be comes out in me . Most of the time the theater major is preforming.

One man now grumbles at me and really doesn’t look at me anymore since I turned him down for a date, I think it makes his friend happy because he smiles big when he mumbles as he walks past me. I do feel bad but now way no how.

One man seeks me out so that I can wait on him and chat. He’s a nice older man.
One man has backed off because he found out that I’m a Christian. He hasn’t asked me to seek off for an affair all week. He still talks to me a bit and they are much better conversations.

People are interesting some sad some angry like the woman who was on her cell phone the whole time I was helping her refusing to pay attention to me. I get that a lot because we are a contractor store. These guys work hard and they need to make every moment count. When one of the men’s hotdog threw up relish and onions in a big splat I felt that I should warn the woman that she was going to step in it and might fall. She turned and gave me a nasty look but I still kept on guard. She then looked at the rather large for a hotdog sized pile of relish and onions and just missed it. Sis she take the phone from her ear and thank me? Did she mouth thank you? Did she get me a thumb up? No she gave me a nasty look and walked out.

I cleaned up the mess. And yes the guy apologized and offered to clean it up himself.

Sometimes I wonder about people.

Miss Littles has a very runny nose today so we have tissues piling up. It hasn’t stopped her from roller skating all over the house. Yes I’m that kind of parent. She’s not the one who fell and broke a hip. The one running from Miss Littles did that.

I have been peeking in on ya’ll and have from time to time had a bit to say. Golly time seems to rush away from us.

I called an old friend the other day. Life hasn’t been kind to her then again she hasn’t been kind to life at times. I hate that she is so ill and that her daughter is no longer in her life. I do miss her.
I wish my friend who is embarking on a new path nothing but a great life.

A great life. . .
What is that?
It’s sorrow and love it’s life real life.
It’s sitting in front of your home and loving those in it.
It’s knowing your mistakes and being honest enough to say the out loud
It’s learning and correcting
It’s a life led by God
It’s seeking Jesus with your family and in the darkness of yourself
It’s what I have

Do you?

Inspiration

I haven’t felt that inspired lately. Things around here are edgy or something. See what I mean very little inspiration.

I’m sitting at the dining room table working on the summer Disney scrapbook. I’ve lost the C in escape, I suppose it did just that. Poor lost C. I lost the dot on an i but it still seems fine.

To fill you in on things that have sucked it out of me:

My aunt is in the hospital, surgery to remove a large amount of her intestine.
My son broke his hip.
My dad is doing well but still has me on edge.
Someone in my family has Crohn’s and isn’t looking too well.
I’m having my knee worked on in February.

My friend's cancer isn't gone.
That divorce thing
I’ve lost my temper with my boss twice this last week. He’s a man so he keeps saying stupid stuff like “I know you’re a bit stressed.” And “What’s this all about?” MEN!!!!!
I had a two day migraine.


I spent some time in the car today with God crying and talking. I talked a lot about me and how He should be helping me. He let me know that he was. Yes it is about me right now because it’s my blog and I write about me and when I need to lean I need to lean. So He told me that He was right next to me with His shoulder for crying and His arms for holding. And after all, my aunt came through surgery. My attorney has made me laugh and is a Christian. My son had the best surgeon around and is making me laugh every day. My daddy is taking care of us and doing a great job and he is still with us. They found Crohn’s before it was too bad. My surgeon is a good one and a Christian. He promised to pray for my son. I’m having my knee fixed after dealing with the pain. Insurance company willing. ;-}

I may have lost a friend but I still have lots of friends who really love me.

Still I don’t want to get up too early Saturday morning. I think I’ve earned it and I did complete four pages of the scrapbook.

Inspiration?

After eight please.

I think I need to find my Bible and keep talking to God.

Please pray

Please pray for my son he fell and broke his hip.
Doctor number 1 missed it and sent him to another doctor the next day.
He missed the 8 hour window and now we won't know if the ball will make it.
It will take months to know.


Because Chic asked

He slipped on his pants while being chased by his sister. No he doesn’t wear his pants low like some of the kids. He was in those lounge kind of pants. His hip met the ceramic tile. The first doctor, a well know one in this area for sports medicine, Olympic medicine at that, didn’t do x-rays instead he sent him to a specialist. The appointment was the next day. That doctor took on look at him and sent him to x-ray then called 911.

Guess Who is 9!?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MISS LITTLES!

I'm so glad to have you in my life!

A song is ringing in my head today.

You take the good you take the bad and there you have the facts of life.

Church was great this morning I felt the songs and enjoyed the minister. One of the men could see it in my eyes and I could see it in his as he took my hand to his cheek. Sadness. It’s hard to hide it some days but we try. His wife is ill, just getting to church is hard for the two of them. I adore those people.

I’ll come out stronger my children won’t.

Good you ask?

Where is the good?

I have wonderful people, some take my hand to their faces when I hug them. They show me thir eyes, the eyes of Jesus.

I received a call tonight saying that my dad had gone forward. My heart stopped and panic set in I began to question my cousin as to where they had taken him. She said no he is going forward in church. my dad took the dip.

God never said Milly life will be a peach for you He just promised to be there every moment of the day.

So I take the good and I take the bad as I hold His hand and He takes it to His cheek.

Happy Happy

Thank goodness they didn't put the number of birthdays on it.

However, having firefighters share cake with me would be a nice gift.

Sock Monkey was born to be wild!

Miss Littles pumpkin.

Have a happy no matter what your family does.

Where has the time gone?

I decided I might want to let ya’ll know I’m still around.
Even though Sunset Boulevard is on I think I’ll still update.

Max my memoirs!

I’m not afraid to read it.

Saturday team Miss Littles ran The Tulsa Run Fun Run. Her school won $750.00 for having the most participants in their category. I missed running more than ever while I tried to find my running spirit from within. I think I can find my stride. I ran distance so it’s a bit slow compared to those who run to win. I run to find peace. I smiled at the man who greats our day at work with a rant of scriptures, he was ranting as I pasted him on the street. Some places most likely would run this man out but he seems to fit in with the ambiance, besides all he wants is coffee and a moment to quote scripture from that well worn Bible.

Sunday I woke with a head banger. Bummer I had things to do. I made it to work but not church. We had a competition at another store. Our store lost. I could think and they put things in other departments. No worries it was still fun to be there.

I’m still watching the sun come up every morning. It’s been turquoise and orange. How can you not see God in the morning.

I’m working on a spider costume for Miss Littles step into the book. She’s Charlotte. Tomorrow is the fall fest at church. Thursday is the day to get the boy ready for the weekend. Halloween is my birthday so it’s treating and relaxing with Miss Littles, my sister, and a friend.

It seems as if so many of us are going through some trials in our lives. We need to remember that God is with us always. If you’ve made a mistake fall to your knees in forgiveness Jesus died for you. You’re forgiven.

God loves us. He sent his Son to save us, so rejoice!

I'm ready for my close up

A ZOO!

Today after lunch the kids and I strolled through a pet shop. They are in need of a something to take care of or so they say. We looked at several little hopping and happy fluffy things one liked looking at Miss Littles. We checked out the fish and one thought she was something to check out. We talked about the care of all of these creatures. The fish. . . I suggested they might as well live near the toilet because that would be where they’d end up.

Now if you know me you know I love birds. Free and out flying free. I’m not sure why I love them so and I have no idea of why I hate the idea of caging them. Still I do and I’ll just bet you can see it coming. She looked the birds over and one cockatiel came up to the glass to see her. She moved to the other side and waved him over and he made his way around all the stuff to see her. I think had we stayed any longer I’d have purchased the little one.
My child has a gift for animals.

I’ve seen it before she once sat in a friend’s yard and called all the cats to her.

I may have a zoo by this time next year.

Thank goodness that bird was over my budget.

My son wants bird feeders at the apartment because he too loves them.

No rodents allowed. Not my rule the apartment folks.

Yep a zoo.

Stuff. . .like life. . .and Danny is back to blogging

I think Dave is still in hiding. . . perhaps in the woods waiting for winter to bring snow to shovel. He loves that ya know.


The first two days of school have come and gone. They are the ones in school and I have homework!
Not fair!
Not fair at all!

My dad is back in the hospital. This time he had what I suspected, not what his doctor thought, pneumonia. I really don’t like this doctor first he missed his heart stuff and now this. I kept pressing about the pneumonia because I know that some people don’t present a lot of symptoms. I’m not sure how long that they will be keeping him but I’m glad he finally gave into all of us and went.

I have been thinking on several post ideas but life has me hopping.

One thing I was wondering while surfing about: Can we really separate church and state? Do we have the ability to do so?

I know that in my heart I can't separate being a Christian when it comes to issues.

Can the normal Christian human separate how they feel and how they believe?

Can you?

Schooooool is on!

Today is meet the teacher day!

Could we BE more excited!

School rocks for Miss Littles!

The Boy not so much.

The Mom Heck yes! Hall' a ta ya boyz!

Bring it!!!!

Millyism and MillLife

Shopping for the girls is like sports for the boys.

It’s all good!

Family, fun, great sales folks for my daughter,

&

time well spent out of pocket.

ADVICE * LECTURES

&

LOVE

I LOVE YOU TOO!

God works in some interesting ways

As I drove to the hospital I began to think about a conversation I had with a coworker. He and I talked about how God works in our lives. Several things had happened to those he loved including death, he was angry with God for the happenings so he went mountain climbing. We do that metaphorically but he actually did it, once he reached the top he began yelling at God. “Is that all you’ve got!” he spent a bit of time yelling at God. It came to him that God was there the he wasn’t alone and that no matter what He would be there for him and there is nothing that he can’t handle because God wouldn’t let go of Him.

So here I was driving to the hospital worried about my dad thinking that I once again had one of those conversations. All I could think was “God is preparing me again, He did with my mom, my uncle, and now He was doing it again.” Don’t get me started on the music that was playing on the radio The Dance golly gee way to get to me.

I have to say that my dad is a tough guy. Several months ago he passed out backing his boat in the water and ended up knee deep in the lake H20. That’s knee deep inside the truck. The doctor thought it was a medication. This time was a big red flag with a flashing light and a loud alarm, he blacked out again in Canada. He went to fish, he loves fishing. They had the chopper on the way he refused to go to the hospital after they revived him. I offered to drive him to the doctor but he refused. They sent him to a specialist, they immediately walked him to the OR. Here’s where he becomes the talked about patient of the day people to whom have a heart rate of thirty are usually brought in to the ER or rushed into a doctor’s office looking very ill. My dad had driven several miles and walked in on his own.

As for fishing well he took second in the tournament and says that he would have taken first had he fished all the days. And yes he says it with a big o’ smile on his face.

I spent the night watching my dad remembering times of a younger stronger man. My dad came in the door ready to love his family that’s why we rushed to be with him. He saw the blessings in his life. Whenever we were sick my dad was soft and gentle he spoke softly to us. I remember how he would move my hair out of my face. My dad had seemed to be invincible when I was a kid and there he was in a bed, in pain, looking so different. Still he’s the best dad in the world and my family and I will now take care of him. (Like it or not. . . he grumbles a bit at us. )

He is so grounded!
No fishing for a while!