Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ahhh !!!!!

That’s right yesterday was a nutty day so having an uneventful day today was very nice.

I work in a home improvement store for those who don’t know. Yesterday a guy tipped a can of paint into a SCO machine. Note to dude mixing paint: The mallet is to pound the lid down. Yepper the thing was full of paint. One down. I go to lunch, eat, and come back to the mess still there. It requires special handling so I wasn’t allowed to clean it up. Note to self: Get the training. While that one was down one of the others decided to freeze. Two down. This freezes the main. A guy comes up with items with no code and presents them to me. I tell him that I can’t look it up because I have no screen. He leaves. Three down. And I should add that the frozen one is waiting for me to put a check in the printer. A woman is holding her check out for me. I can’t process it and send her to the desk. Four down. I trouble shoot the printer but that isn’t the problem. Oh and I should also add that Monday is the new black Friday. I shut the computer down on the frozen one. Sorry to those computer folks but I had to do it hard and fast. It shuts down unfreezing my main and I start untangling the mess. I called to get back up to help with the lines and didn’t get an answer so I went to hang up the phone it falls through the hanger and hits the floor. I must have laughed because those poor folks around me laugh also.

At one point I have a huge line so someone calls for back up. My HC leans over what I call the fence and said “Why is she calling for back up?” I look over and see that I am the only one with a line. We both laugh and send folks to the regular registers. Ok so one man was angry. I’m sorry but I tried to warn him that I wasn’t going to be able to help when he first came up.

On the up side one of my favorite men came over to see me. I got a quick hug and went back to work. This man is a nice Christian man who checks on me when he comes in.

After work I did what every mom has to do. I went grocery shopping at Target. I made the mistake of trying to check out. Something may or may not have gone wrong with the woman who had a huge amount of cloths and her credit application and going over and something that was going to take awhile to untangle. I grumble. I’ll admit it, I had a long day at work all I wanted to do was check out and go home to cook. Ok I really wanted to go to Starbuck’s and chat with a friend. I turn to the lady behind me and let her know it was going to be awhile, she cool with it because she was waiting for someone. I move to the register that the girl that may or may not have made the mistake telling a man to please for me go in front of me. He had a toothbrush and toothpaste so me going first was silly. The first thing that I said to the young lady who was checking me out was “It’s my fault.” She laughed and apologized. As we heard the lady complain about the girl I explained that it was my karma. We laugh about my day. I hope that she wasn’t too stressed because they were still trying to fix the problem when I left.

Lesson learned we all make mistakes from lids on cans to causing bad karma in Target. But how we treat each other is key.

No I don’t believe in karma, I just believe that we owe it to each other to be good and if you can make someone laugh in the face of their crises of the day, that is golden.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What sparks your Christmas Spirit?

I can tell you that I am so over hearing Christmas music at work. I am over seeing people purchasing Christmas decorations with a grim look and a grumble on their lips. Miss Littles has had two chats with Santa’s helpers. We are done with that for the year.

At the work Christmas party I won OU stuff and a Larry The Cable Guy video. I returned everything but the OU hat, my son said he’d wear it. I used the store credit for things my daughter needed and The Santa Claus videos. The kids and I watched two of them that night, I feel asleep during the second so opted to watch the third another night.

So what sparks me?

Not being at the mall on THE BUSIEST DAY of the year. Yiks. I took a number for one the stores then went into another to return something. I came back and waited for them to call my number.

What gave me the spark?

Today’s production gave me a spark. The production was simple making it even better. The cast was small making it more realistic. It was real and it was great. Miss Littles did a great job with her speaking parts and solo. She was a beautiful angel. Mary added the real part by exploring her nose on stage and she fell. Don’t worry nose and body were fine. I had to smile at one of the wise men as he sat on stage because he sat like a typical boy.

What most of the audience didn’t know is that the kids hadn’t all been together for rehearsals once. They didn’t see me and the other ladies years before making angel costumes to hand down for years to come. They didn’t see us trying to fit squirmy children. They missed out on the typing of the production so that the children would have the words when needed. They missed out on the rehearsals, the patience of my sister and the lady who puts it all together. They didn’t note that the program was thought out by the art department so that parents could save it for year to come. (That’s a team of two one being me). They didn’t see the tears from stage fright, he managed to stand on stage for a while with a pep talk from my sister. They didn’t see us in the booth working to make things go as smoothly as we could control.

What gives me the spark?

Knowing that my children know why we celebrate the birth of Christ at this time of year and knowing that they will celebrate every day.

God gave us a wonderful gift that night and at this time we pause to remember how important that baby is for us.

Monday, December 15, 2008

From KBs place

Directions: Copy the list to your blog, put an asterisk next to the things you have done in your life, and then pass it on to others in your blog - and let me know if you do! Also feel free to add a couple at the end, if you like.. I added a few.

*1. Started your own blog
*2. Slept under the stars
*3. Played in a band
*4. Visited Hawaii
*5. Watched a meteor shower
*6. Given more than you can afford to charity
*7. Been to Disneyworld
*8. Climbed a mountain
*9. Held a praying mantis
*10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
*14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
*16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
*18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
*21. Had a pillow fight
*22. Hitch hiked (Kind of)
*23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
*24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
*27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
*29. Seen a total eclipse
*30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
*35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
*37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
*41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
*45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
*47. Had your portrait painted - drawn I think that counts!
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
*51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
*52. Kissed in the rain
*53. Played in the mud
*54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
*57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
*60. Served at a soup kitchen
*61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
*63. Got flowers for no reason
*64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
*69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (book!)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
*75. Been fired/laid off from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
*78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
*82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
*84. Had your picture in the newspaper
*85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
*88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
*91. Met someone famous
*92. Joined a book club
*93. Lost a loved one
*94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
*97. Been involved in a law suit
*98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (I have been stung by a wasp)
100. Seen Mount Rushmore in person
*101. Learned to play an instrument
102. Kissed the Blarney Stone
*103. Ridden a camel
104. Been to an underground church meeting
105. Ate pizza in New York City
106. Preached a sermon
107. Visited someone in jail

I'm here!

I'm still here but wicked busy. I have been checking on ya'll

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Her Heart

I wrote this some time ago and thought it needed a dusting off to remind me of her and how chosen she was and is. A mother. . .A mother who loved for us and the man that held her hand for us. We are blessed to have Him and them to remind us of the life beyond this.


I’m not so sure that I truly understood the pain that she must have felt while watching Him travel from place to place being treated as a criminal and as a star, so to speak, until I gave birth to my son. He was a surprise, a big surprise. I remember looking in the mirror after the second test thinking huh?. . . . Me . . .Us . . . We can’t do this. I remember the sound of the receptionist’s voice when she said "Congratulations" and I said "A . . . sure" she responded with "Oh" I then began to try to redeem myself with "No. . . no . . . I’m happy".

What did she feel?

Was she as afraid as I was?


More so I think.


My pregnancy was great, my friends and family were happy, my husband was a proud father to be. I couldn’t seem to stop smiling.


Did she keep a smile on her face?


I think she must have.


How did he feel when she told him?


Did he look shocked?


Most fathers do the first time.


This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about:
His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.


I wonder if she talked to Him before he was born?


Did she put her hand on her tummy to feel His kicks?


She must have.


When my son was born I sat in the hospital bed looking down at this small being wondering what to do.


How I loved him so much.


I could hardly take my eyes from him.


She must have been as fascinated.


I remember standing at the window of my son’s room looking out at the moon, so big and silver. It looked as if you could touch it.

I remember as I stood with my sleeping baby, worried as all new mothers worry about the things that could take this little one away, I remember thinking God how hard to send Him here to die.

I couldn’t let my child go to the cross.


I turned and looked at my sleeping boy safe and warm.

I truly know the sacrifice that mother made for us.

She carried a child for us.

She nurtured a child for us.

She watched as they beat, mocked, tortured, and one by one drove nails into Him.
After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him.
Then they led him away to crucify him.


My son had three stitches above his eye I want to take his pain away and I felt like hitting the doctor when he rushed not making sure it was numb.


Only three tiny stitshes went through my heart.


Did it feel as if those nails were going into her heart each one more painful than the other?


How broken she must have felt as she watched her son die a horrible and painful death.


Was she relieved when He took His last breath?


No more pain.


Now it’s done.


How hard it must have been to hold her son knowing He wouldn’t smile at her on this earth again.


Was she comforted by the knowledge that He Was, Is, And Will Always Be?


I know a mother’s heart.

She must have hurt so much for Him.


I know that God gave her comfort through it all.

I am so grateful for Mary.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it" (John 3:16-17).

Friday, November 21, 2008

Tell me if I’m right or wrong

I’m bringing this up because I’m just having a hard time believing that this can be true.

I have spoken with men and women gay and straight and I’ve been told the same thing. I find it hard to believe it but when I defend those who I think would never feel this way I’m told that I’m dead out wrong all of you have it in you.

Men are designed to cheat.

I don’t think God created them that way. I can list several men that I don’t think would ever cheat on their wives or girl friends. I think that some do think about it but they would never ever do it. I don’t think that you all think about it because you love and respect your ladies.

If it is true then we are to accept that men will cheat on us! We just need to shut up and allow it. I never wanted to do that to my husband or my family. I never want to be with a man who will do that to us.

Tell me if I’m right or wrong.

Friday, November 14, 2008

It’s cold and damp put and I’d love to be in my Pjs right now.

I can’t say much these days perhaps because I have little to say right now.
I thought I’d post some thoughts though.

Some things you might not know about me.

Monkeys freak me out, but I love sock monkeys.
I love to daydream.
I wear bifocals, no line I’m not that old.
I think it’s cool when friends insist I read a book they love.
Especially if they have underlined the parts that move them.
I want to be more talented but seem to have very little time to be.
I worry about people when I don’t see or hear from them for a while.
I pray that they are fine.
I love to watch old movies.
I think that there are movies that are a must to watch before you die. Some day I’ll try to list them.
I have a lot of bottles of water in my car. I have an idea of why but still.
I may have found the best pancakes but a coworker tells me different. I’ll keep you posted as I search.
I think that when you dream you should dream big and small always reaching and always obtaining.
I hate that my knee is wrecked and that I will need to see a specialist, I want to run again and not feel pain.
I believe in true love and know that I might find it someday.
I seek Him
I love art
I crave the opera
I squished an ant yesterday.
I like cats but I think that not all cats are the same so some need to live away from me.
I love snakes.
We have a mouse at work and I have named him. I hope they don’t catch him
I think soup is important to your well being so eat some.
I have a lot to say a lot of the time.
If I tell you I love you I mean it.

It's game night and they are waiting.

Have a happy!

Friday, November 07, 2008

It's all. . .

It’s really an amazing thing life and how our world within us works.
A tragedy struck hard for one of my coworkers. If you are from Ohio you’ll most likely know the wreck. His lose was a hard one and yet today he showed me how life finds a way, a new baby was born. Just as he was counting his loses and praying for those still recovering and wondering if . . .a baby is born. God’s reminder that life is still here for us. Still today was resting hard on him. I could see it and offered a hug and words. Those words are just that they remove none of the pain.

Pain is pain.

Life is hard . . .that’s the way it is. I’ve never met anyone who said that it was a free ride.
I have a theory.

If things were easy then we wouldn’t appreciate. We wouldn’t appreciate the good because it’s all good. No one would yell at me at work because everything ran smoothly. They made no mistakes it’s all good.

No marriage would fail it’s all good
No child dies it’s all good.
No heart stops it’s all good.
No child to go hungry it’s all good.
Money is nothing to worry about it’s all good.

Men honor their commandments it’s all good.


But this is earth and it’s not all good. . .we make mistakes.
We fail.
Death happens.
We hunger.
We need.
We want.
Dishonor is within.

Blood was shed for us and someday. . .
it’s all Heaven.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

A song is ringing in my head today.

You take the good you take the bad and there you have the facts of life.

Church was great this morning I felt the songs and enjoyed the minister. One of the men could see it in my eyes and I could see it in his as he took my hand to his cheek. Sadness. It’s hard to hide it some days but we try. His wife is ill, just getting to church is hard for the two of them. I adore those people.

I’ll come out stronger my children won’t.

Good you ask?

Where is the good?

I have wonderful people, some take my hand to their faces when I hug them. They show me thir eyes, the eyes of Jesus.

I received a call tonight saying that my dad had gone forward. My heart stopped and panic set in I began to question my cousin as to where they had taken him. She said no he is going forward in church. my dad took the dip.

God never said Milly life will be a peach for you He just promised to be there every moment of the day.

So I take the good and I take the bad as I hold His hand and He takes it to His cheek.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Happy


Thank goodness they didn't put the number of birthdays on it.
However, having firefighters share cake with me would be a nice gift.


Sock Monkey was born to be wild!


Miss Littles pumpkin.


Have a happy no matter what your family does.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Where has the time gone?

I decided I might want to let ya’ll know I’m still around.
Even though Sunset Boulevard is on I think I’ll still update.

Max my memoirs!

I’m not afraid to read it.

Saturday team Miss Littles ran The Tulsa Run Fun Run. Her school won $750.00 for having the most participants in their category. I missed running more than ever while I tried to find my running spirit from within. I think I can find my stride. I ran distance so it’s a bit slow compared to those who run to win. I run to find peace. I smiled at the man who greats our day at work with a rant of scriptures, he was ranting as I pasted him on the street. Some places most likely would run this man out but he seems to fit in with the ambiance, besides all he wants is coffee and a moment to quote scripture from that well worn Bible.

Sunday I woke with a head banger. Bummer I had things to do. I made it to work but not church. We had a competition at another store. Our store lost. I could think and they put things in other departments. No worries it was still fun to be there.

I’m still watching the sun come up every morning. It’s been turquoise and orange. How can you not see God in the morning.

I’m working on a spider costume for Miss Littles step into the book. She’s Charlotte. Tomorrow is the fall fest at church. Thursday is the day to get the boy ready for the weekend. Halloween is my birthday so it’s treating and relaxing with Miss Littles, my sister, and a friend.

It seems as if so many of us are going through some trials in our lives. We need to remember that God is with us always. If you’ve made a mistake fall to your knees in forgiveness Jesus died for you. You’re forgiven.

God loves us. He sent his Son to save us, so rejoice!

I'm ready for my close up

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hear Him

I’ve read a few blogs around these parts in the last few months with the topic of hearing and not hearing God. Some have and no longer and some don’t and can’t be sure that they ever did. You know that got me thinking as things like this do. I spent some time at work pondering about hearing Him speak.


How are we to hear the voice of God?

In the old school testament God was in our faces. Well not our faces but those who came way back before us.

His voice was heard, and not only that He was live and in person. He came looking for Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.

God sent burning bushes and parted the sea.

I still want to know if while you were walking between those two walls of ocean could you have reached out and grabbed fish. Think about that image! Walls of water. . you are on the ocean bed walking. I want to know what they gave witness to. It will always be in my head till I die and when I’m dead I won’t ask because I will be with Jesus and I think in awe of Him I’ll fall to my knees. I know that some of you have me pegged for dancing. Hmmm I have a song now going through my head.

Back to the VOICE OF GOD!!!

Do you think it’s this big booming voice?

It could be.

Is the soft and gentle voice?

Perhaps.


Now I think I need a disclaimer hear. I am in no way saying that you are loved less or aren’t getting it right if you can’t hear it.

I believe that God speaks to me in a various ways.

I hear whispers

I get yelled at

I get talked to

I also think that He uses others and other things to speak for Him.

He created us and know how we are wired. This is something I throw my hands up about at times. Why aren’t ya’ll wired to think like I do? Why do you think it’s ok to sit in the middle of the WalMart parking lot (know as the portal to hell) waiting for the lady with a full cart, who has just arrived at her vehicle to search her purse for her keys. Then open the trunk and slowly start removing her items from her cart. You see me behind you and you know it was me that you insisted on being in front of so that you could have that spot. I don’t want the spot I just want to park so that I can run into the store for stuff for a Step Into The Book Costume. THIS IS WHY I DON"T SHOP AT WALMART! Ok that and the way they do business. Sorry I needed to vent.

I only know how I hear God. I I know that when I was in a church where everyone was talking in tongues I heard "Not this church, this isn’t for you." The people were super nice and my ex roommate made it seem to be great. She looked happy and I felt happy when I wasn’t confused about what was going on and what I was suppose to be doing.

I head the voice tell me to go the other way when I was driving Mary, my daughter, and her daughter to a leather work shop down town. I shook that voice off, after all I knew better. As I was driving through the neighborhood a truck tailed me. Now when you insist on being on my bumper I am not at all motivated to go faster. God knows how I worry that a child will run out into the road so I drive neighborhoods slowly anyway add a truck tail and I move at a snails pace. I also take my time pulling out. So I moved slower and took my time pulling onto 41st .The light was green and the streak was silver and the screams were Mary’s and my bumper ripped off red blazer. I slammed on the breaks sending all of us forward. Thank God for safety belts. Had I driven a bit faster he would have T-Boned us. The man driving the car didn’t stop for a while. He was going very fast when he topped the little hill and sped through the intersection and ripped my bumper off. One of our neighbors is a cop. He was off duty and came running to check on us. The cop who responded went to my church. I was surrounded by men to help me. had I listened to that Voice my bumper would have been in tact. Had God not sent a truck to slow me I would have been morning the death of my friend Mary and her daughter and possibly my daughter. God wasn’t ready for any of us.

When my marriage began to fall apart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe God whispered to me. I heard Him. He gave me strength to make the calls that I needed to make. He continues to whisper to me. I have moments but I know that I am doing the right thing. I need to do this.

When we have moments of weakness who is it that stops us from picking up that phone. . .opening that bottle. . .taking that pill...slashing our skin. . . looking at wickedness. . .eating those cookies. . .have an affair. . . tuning out life. . .Who stops us?

Who will take us back when we stray?

Who is it that whispers in the dark of the night . . .It is done and I forgive you.

Most morning I stand in the doorway drinking in the color of morning and take a breath of cool air Who boldly shows me His new day?

A child’s drawing speaks to me of wonderment and love. I take in the rustic art wondering what they were thinking when a hair was painted purple and shapes out of proportion. A child need not say a thing to me about the work it speaks for itself. God’s beauty speaks to me.

I remember holding my new born son and looking at the moon one night . It was so big and bright that I lit the room. I thought of Mary giving up her son. How my heart ached for her. I whispered God I couldn’t do it. He said you don’t have to I did it for you and that baby.

Is it that God is silent?

Do you think that he would slip back to see how we can manage on our own. Is He a father that would let go of the bicycle? What then if we fall? We keep trying but we keep falling. Where are you Father? Why aren’t You helping why are You silent?

Is that it? Is it a silence a defining suffering fearful silence?

We want to put the blame somewhere. Is it God? Is it Jesus? Is it you? Is it me? Can I be so panic stricken that I would fail to hear Him?

I have no words to give comfort. I have never felt that fear.

He speaks boldly to me with a whisper. He yells at me when I can’t listen.

I may be listening to my own crazy mind. I may not be hearing Him. But I think I hear Him in the sunrise. I think I hear Him in the man who looks for me at work and tells me "Now I’m having a good day." when he sees me. I think I hear Him in my children. I think I hear Him in the singing birds. I know I heard Him the day I was laying on the dock on a cool fall day. I heard Him that day in the young people laughing and talking.

I’ve asked many things of God and been thankful of the no answers.
He know what I need and when I need it better, He is after all my Father.


I pray that you will hear Him soon.

I know that He hears you.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A ZOO!

Today after lunch the kids and I strolled through a pet shop. They are in need of a something to take care of or so they say. We looked at several little hopping and happy fluffy things one liked looking at Miss Littles. We checked out the fish and one thought she was something to check out. We talked about the care of all of these creatures. The fish. . . I suggested they might as well live near the toilet because that would be where they’d end up.

Now if you know me you know I love birds. Free and out flying free. I’m not sure why I love them so and I have no idea of why I hate the idea of caging them. Still I do and I’ll just bet you can see it coming. She looked the birds over and one cockatiel came up to the glass to see her. She moved to the other side and waved him over and he made his way around all the stuff to see her. I think had we stayed any longer I’d have purchased the little one.
My child has a gift for animals.

I’ve seen it before she once sat in a friend’s yard and called all the cats to her.

I may have a zoo by this time next year.

Thank goodness that bird was over my budget.

My son wants bird feeders at the apartment because he too loves them.

No rodents allowed. Not my rule the apartment folks.

Yep a zoo.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

This is the day

One of the coolest things about the area that I work in is that I can watch the sun risings. This morning dawn brought a turquoise and orange sky. I’m a sun rise nerd so I had competition tell as many people as I could about the beauty that God granted us with. I stood in the door way holding the automatic doors open and took in a deep breath of the autumn cool air thinking "This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice." I say this most mornings.

It’s neat that several of my customers are Christians, they ask for prayers and offer them.
It’s been a long week today is my Friday. Sunday we had a competition among those in my department. I was surprised at the outcome. I took first place! I get to go to the next level and compete against others from other stores. I hope I don’t choke my boss seems to really want us to win. I joked about honing my skills when asked why I was in commercial today. I really don’t care that much about winning but I did let them know how good I am at what I do with the win. I was told that I could train in any department that I wanted. I know that I could move onto that floor in a heartbeat.

Back to the sun.
the sun coming up means that life starts new for me. All of yesterday is gone to memory and now I have a fresh start. I love that. I need that. I can visit my past but never live in it. I can live in the new day.

Tomorrow I’ll start a new day with new surprises and more blessings from God. I'll take the time to walk with Jesus and I'll whisper to myself This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Demons in the church

After a couple of discussions with spouses of those in the ministry I started thinking.

Demons are in the church.

I wonder if we could see them how many are circling the church. I thought about how many sit within.

One spouse is the wife of my minister. I want to say this so that you folks who think nothing of trashing the man or women who speak God’s words to you hear this. They are human and they have feelings! They have wives husbands and children. You are the people who brought them here you are the ones who they feel in love with and you are the ones who are hurting them the most.

I gave this some thought as I showered I would never pray that my child go int the ministry. Especially youth ministry. The devil hates youth ministry. He works hard to break it where ever he can and he uses parents. We parents have no problem listening to his hissing how wrong those who love and guide our children are. We have to stand hard against his vile nature.

My son has a wonderful heart for God and His children and when he said that he thought of going in youth ministry I prayed for guidance. He no longer speaks of it.

What a hurt it is not to trust those you love. What a hurt it is to feel so alone. The spouses don’t feel that they can trust anyone in the church. How could they? after all they’ve been slammed also. They have been talked about because their children ran around yelling yesterday. Mine did they day before and his were in the parking lot running around the cars. Still she’s a minister’s wife and she needs to keep them in place. I’ve read those letters. I’ve apologized for words that I had nothing to do with but still felt that the hurt needed to know how much I hated it.

Yes I do believe that demons attach to us and we walk them into the church proudly. We need to rid ourselves of them. We need to stand in font of the mirror and ask God to show us the truth.

No this mother will never pray that her children will go int the ministry.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Isn’t it funny how things have a way of making you smile?






Today while driving home thinking about work needing to let go I passed the Weinermobile. How can you not smile at that? I ate a hot dag for lunch today. The Milly ate your baby. (With mustard and relish *o* )




Today a customer and I were talking about squirrels in the attic. He said these things are no longer afraid of people because we no longer hunt them. They are taking over Tulsa. I agreed and we began talking about eating them. His wife was grossed out and started taking about how they might taste. We both looked at her shaking our heads because she was wrong about how they taste. City girl. (They are good fried with cream gravy.)




Okies like to fry stuff and put cream gravy on it.

Several days ago a customer was asking my how to keep the squirrels out of her pots. I said shoot um and fry um. She looked unamused. I then started thinking of ways to stop them and enlisted a coworker she said shoot um and eat um. I think the lady was a bit unhappy with us. Still, it smells better than moth balls, unless you leave the dead creature out there to make a point to the others.




My dad had a squirrel that waited until he gathered the pecans in a bucket and stored them in the garage, then the little guy or gal would go shopping. Great time management on the squirrels part. It would go in whenever dad left the door open and help itself. Smart squirrel.

Last Sunday I was driving my son home from church he warned me about a squirrel close to the road. I said you know we use to eat those things. He responded with "Did ya tenderize them with the car?"


To be honest I haven’t eaten a squirrel in years. Once I moved to the woods I fell in love with them because they teased the dog and I didn’t like that dog at all.




That’s right I joined forces with the squirrels. Now I feed them.
Miss Littles just saw the squirrel in the back yard and came running in to tell me. I told her that he has been there before."It’s the first time I have ever seen him o it must be his first time there."

Who am I?
I suppose I don’t count at all.
I’m not the official squirrel spotter.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Isn't Life Grand!!

How great is our God!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Break Room Questions

Wow do I ever feel better! Bob and lmouser I’m with you on this and so were some of the other men today. Money power and sex might be what other men aspire to have but I want God and I’m not at all surprised to hear that you men do too.


One of the ladies that I work with came to me this morning to talk with me because she was afraid that I might be upset that I was working with so many immoral people. I’m sad for them and pray that they see the missing from their hearts but not at all surprised by the want for folly.


Sad that one would want for those horrid things knowing that it would put up in line with the devil. Hell has never looked like a good place to end up in to me. Thanks guys for reconfirming that my heart is was right and a good man will want for nothing less then to be with God when he leaves this land.


Today we had some rather silly moments in the break room, I can’t recap nor do I want to because it led up to this question. Not one that I came up with BTW.

Would you want to be Hugh Marston Hefner?

Most of the guys that came in said YES!
One said yes with some changes
One said "What about my wife?" :-)
One wants to marry his daughter.

So guys Would you want to be Hugh?

And ladies would you want to be a bunny?

For the record I don't want to be a bunny at all, I want to be just who I am. Only. . . . ;-}


This was what I thought of Genesis 19

NIV

23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. 24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

27 Early the next morning Abraham got up and returned to the place where he had stood before the LORD. 28 He looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace.

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed

Friday, September 19, 2008

Solving the Banana Crises By Milly's Boy

Laymond- you could do better but at least but it gets you there with ‘nanas to spare.

Uncle Mark- This one does eat bananas. And Mark should do math. Thank god for Aunt K 2 do the math 4 U. (That = 6). Your nephew is smarter than you.

Salquod- its over 1 mile there+back your math ain’t gonna work.

Missy- SPCA will fine you for that cause that kills camels :-(

KB- Momma ain’t vote’n 4 U any more.

Lynne- with the hurricanes and all the other stuff there all booked up.

Karen- FedEx!!!!!!! Those dudes eat 2 bananas a mile.

Karen-It's a math question for my class. Have fun with it. It's not a grade for you just me.

ME- try this. Put 1000 bananas on his back. Walk 250 miles. Drop 500 bananas and walk back. Then do it again. On the 3rd trip you are left with 750 bananas to drop, for a total of 1750 bananas. Then pick up 1000 bananas and walk another 250 miles (the half way point). Then drop 500 bananas and go back. Then get the 750 left and head back agin. You are half way with 1000 bananas. Pick them up and go all the way across. You have 500 bananas left to sell.


This isn’t the most efficient way. If anyone can get more across let us know. I don’t remember exactly how to do it but I know it started with going 1 mile with 1000 bananas. Keep work’n on it.

Math fun for ya

A camel is sitting by a stack of 3,000 bananas at the edge of a 1000-mile wide desert. He is going to travel across the desert, carrying as many bananas as he can to the other side. He can carry up to 1,000 bananas at any given time, but he eats one banana at every mile.

What is the maximum number of bananas the camel can transport across the desert?
How does he do it?

Monday, September 15, 2008

My day of uncaring

As I drove to work dark Friday AM I thought about how much someone at work was making things rather suckage like. As drove in the darkness I mulled it over thinking about how me giving a hoot caused a smart mouthed immature comment from one woman. I took care of the situation because she was too busy talking to another coworker to do her job. I declared it

MILLY’S DAY OF UNCARING!!!!!!!

Yepper loudly in Sara, my car, Miss Littles named her. I pulled into the parking lot with a smile on my face because this is Milly’s day of uncaring. I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care I don’t I don’t care sang in my head. I was not going to care and I was going to let those around me know. After all I wanted them to know how liberated I was.

I enlisted help, I’d need it after all because I care and I care very passionately. I’d need to be able to have someone to call because going cold turkey wasn’t going to be easy. No twelve step program here. I was ripping off the band-aid. Walking to the end of the plank with a blind fold on. Jumping into a vat of honey without taking my keys from my pocket. So I enlisted the one guy that I knew could talk me through any moment of a caring crises. I made the announcement to the woman who had been smarting off to me for about a month now, she had a rude comment to make but I didn’t care.

As I went about my work I noticed in the corner of my eye that the sun was painting the sky in wonderful peachy colors. I went to the doors and stood looking at the sky thinking This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice in it.

He’s talking to me and in color.

Arg!

I worked trying not to care and yet still being nice. Then it happened! I can’t believe it! One of my regular customers was rushing through as I was helping him he said the words that stopped me. I stood motionless for at least two seconds my eyes must have blazed with anger at the world after all this was my day. It was the United Way Day of Caring! I care 364 days out of the year and all I wanted was one day one little day one tiny day to not care! One day to not give a hoot to not give a darn to not have to give a heck fire or heck far if you’re a true Okie. I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t believe it loudly.

I resigned myself to caring and went on about my day as the United Way Caring folks, who normally sit at a desk, shopped for items that will spruce up DVIS and other places that I care about.

Thank you God for keeping me true to myself.

I shouldn't have cared Saturday but that's is a different day. ;-}

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Freefall with God!

Last Sunday the minister at my church preached about the sermon on the mount and I’ll think about posting my thoughts on that later. He started with Matthew 4. These words stuck firmly in my head at once and immediately. Read these passages

NIV

Matthew 4


The Calling of the First Disciples
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.


21Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. 20And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.

King James

Matthew 4

18And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
19And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
20And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.
21And going on from thence, he saw other two brethren, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a ship with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and he called them.
22And they immediately left the ship and their father, and followed him.

English Standard

Matthew 4

Jesus Calls the First Disciples
18
While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19And he said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." 20Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. 22Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

The Message

Matthew 4

18-20Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." They didn't ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed.
21-22A short distance down the beach they came upon another pair of brothers, James and John, Zebedee's sons. These two were sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, mending their fishnets. Jesus made the same offer to them, and they were just as quick to follow, abandoning boat and father.



At once!

Immediately!

The magnitude of those words resonate in my head. Jesus simply called to them and they dropped their nets. Those nets weren’t purchased at Target they were handmade, that takes time and skill. This was their lives. This was how they supported themselves. Everyone and everything was to be left behind. They didn’t pack boxes nor did they grab a change of clothes. No girl in their eyes to say good bye to. No buddies to shake hands with and wish them well. They took that step without support of loved ones.

Yesterday I spent some time in the grocery store examining three choices of chicken stuff. Before that I spent some time thinking about how much time I had before I had to pick up the kids because I was delayed at the mechanic’s getting my oil changed, it took two hours. (They washed it without asking or telling me, a nice serendipity) Before that I debated on what kind of oil to put into the car. I chose the better stuff. (a man might tell me different or he might frown because I pay to have it done but I am manless, I’ve paid to have the oil changed from the get go with this car.


Back to my thought process:

I have to think things out. I have to look at all sides. I’ve heard of others who just went, they heard God calling and they sold the house and went. When I was young I would do some spontaneous things but to give up a life to live in uncertainty just wasn’t me. I really have to think on this one. If you are the man of the house who has heard the calling and you convince your family to follow you to another state making job changes, school changes, home changes, and friend changes sure you are freefalling with God but you have your family. These men just dropped the nets without any discussion. James and John didn’t ask their father if they should go, they just went.

Perhaps that doesn’t blow you away!
It sure does me!

I took a leap of faith when I made the call to bring the beginning to the end of my marriage after spending a huge amount of time watching, thinking, and most of all praying. But I did all of those things. Giving time to mull of things is important you do need to be sure that what you’re doing is what is best for you and your family. I’m ending a things after a lot of thought, after God reviled to me that I was right in doing so.


I do believe that God calls us to go with Him and clearly He does it that quickly. I just have never heard that call and it blows me away to think of feeling His security to take that freefall.

Have you ever been called to do so that quickly
at once~ immediately ?

Did you go straightway go?

Or did you spend time thinking about it?


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Pernicious Words From Your Heart

Horrible words spoken
They never go away
So much wanted to say
They would only hurt the one who speaks them
I hold them all. . . those spoken and those restrained
I will write them down
Burn those that were flailed at me with hostility
I shall burn those that were deleterious to my heart
I will repress the words I thought and bury them deep in the soil
I will not lower myself to be like you
I will not allow your dispiriting words to take me to where you are
I refuse to live in a dark place because of your words

I will walk away from you happy

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Where?

I see so many who have walked away from Him and I wonder


Where will you be when the storm blows in?
Where will you be when life is just too hard?
Where will you go when you are all alone?
If not to God then where will you go?
Where then will you be?

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Pass it on

It’s so cool how people can show kindness.

One of my regular customers has been praying for me. He came over to talk to me last week and said that he had walked the whole store to find me to be sure I was ok.

One man went out of his way to find me to thank me for being nice to him.

Those moments are great and those are to be passed on.

Be kind today and pray that someone passes it on.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Miss Littles Grew

After the seeds were planted . . .


in PaPa's roses.




I think the roses were beyond grossed out.







She raised three of these babies.











We brought this one home and played with it.




Its good side.

We teased it. . . .moose ears




We offered it a snack





Bunny ears. . . .




But at the end of the day it has to happen.


Oh the juice! Oh the juice!




So good and sweet.


Wish ya'll were here to enjoy.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'm in the sand!

Milly's toes in the sand


Anyone else want to tell me how they feel?




I woke up got ready for work went to work took the schedule from the wall and realized the color of the paper where I am is a different color so that means I am off today and I got up at 4:21 am to be there. I had a migraine yesterday and one working the day before and the almost X started a fight Saturday so I wasn’t in a good mood nor was my dad because he has been very ill so I called my friend to talk about her cancer and she made me laugh so all was good as long as the cancer is gone PRAY"N HARD! Now I’m trying to budget for the future and spent some time talking to another woman about the men we divorced. I now have to go to the book store and purchase a book for my son he finally remembered who it was a bout and the one he needed I really just want to go back to bed for while but I can’t I do think I’ll pop into a couple of places to window shop I also need to write a letter to someone I did receive a nice little care package from a coworker because she wanted me to have a nice day last week but the X tried to pick another fight today I’m not playing this time I also need to food shop


Not too sandy I have God and I have you and I have friends and I have my kids.


So how are you?

Monday, August 18, 2008

I can't control the Tink in me some days. Can you?


This summer my daughter and I were walking through Disney land talking about Tinker Bell. She looked up at me very seriously and said “She just can’t control herself.” I smiled and said “Maybe we should change your name to Tink.” She likes the one I gave her in the first place. No changes.


Are we bits of Peter Pan?


Self control can be difficult when my boss is a loud mouthed person and he’s wrong. I have no other way but to loudly tell him how wrong he is . . . .with a smile.. . .he interrupted me while I was with my customers. They smiled too. My boss tried to recover but I shut him down because I was the rightest one. Darn. . . .I’m Tink aren’t I?

I know who Peter Pan is. Several of you dudes, nothing personal. You know who you are and why I’m saying this.

Captain Hook!
Who are you out there?

Wendy?
Are you a Wendy?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Church and state?

Can we truly separate church from state?


I had a pretty important typo on that post.
I can't separate it in my heart.

I’m asking if any of you have ever really been able to. Sure we can use reason to do so but can your heart go along with it?

And if the movie was even close to being right the men involved in the declaration had trouble also.

Too bad Mark is out of town this is a good one for him to dig into. I have so little time right now so please feel free to speak freely.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Stuff. . .like life. . .and Danny is back to blogging

I think Dave is still in hiding. . . perhaps in the woods waiting for winter to bring snow to shovel. He loves that ya know.


The first two days of school have come and gone. They are the ones in school and I have homework!
Not fair!
Not fair at all!

My dad is back in the hospital. This time he had what I suspected, not what his doctor thought, pneumonia. I really don’t like this doctor first he missed his heart stuff and now this. I kept pressing about the pneumonia because I know that some people don’t present a lot of symptoms. I’m not sure how long that they will be keeping him but I’m glad he finally gave into all of us and went.

I have been thinking on several post ideas but life has me hopping.

One thing I was wondering while surfing about: Can we really separate church and state? Do we have the ability to do so?

I know that in my heart I can't separate being a Christian when it comes to issues.

Can the normal Christian human separate how they feel and how they believe?

Can you?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Schooooool is on!

Today is meet the teacher day!

Could we BE more excited!

School rocks for Miss Littles!

The Boy not so much.

The Mom Heck yes! Hall' a ta ya boyz!

Bring it!!!!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Immeasurable God

As I stood at work looking out into the vastness of hardware and home improvement I thought about how I see God and God sees me. When I was a child God was big, he was a huge immeasurable being that I loved and was told that He loved me but He seemed too big to reach yet always with me, it’s hard to explain I suppose. It’s just that I wasn’t really raised in a church going home after fifth grade and I had a huge amount of fears as a small child. Honestly a huge amount. I had more panic attacks as a child then as an adult. God was enormous and I was part afraid, curious, and very confused. He was always with me He could always see me. Even when I’m doing stuff God could see me. The sixties and seventies were a time of Hell fire and brim stone sermons. God was going to smote us if we weren’t respecting Him, following Him, if we doubted we were dead. It was frightening for me as a child. But still I loved Him because in the cracks He showed me Himself.

As an adult I see God differently and still the same. He is vast and in my brain I find confusion at times. God can hear me . . . He can hear me. He keeps me in His pocket for safe keeping like a prized possession . . . along with all of you. To really grasp this I think of where I work most of the time. I’m watching four screens, four or more people, four computers, the area around me, a walkie-talkie seems to be chattering most of the time, the phone ringing, those who are stopping by for information, and most of the time I have a bit of paperwork to do while all of this is going on. I love it! I have those folks who know me and give hugs, jokes, and blessings. I get yelled at cussed at and seem to be the one who has made their day a moment in hell. I do this rush for only a few short hours a day clock out and get into my car, my sanctuary, a place to pray and find peace. I have trouble keeping up with people and the demands at times and I’m good at it. God is the Supreme Being the one who invented all of us yammering people and He has absolutely no problem listening to us. I doubt that God says “You know it was such a hard day at earth I think I’ll take a long bath and watch a movie tonight.” He’s God. He listens to us children as a patient parent listens to an eight year old tells you about her day.


God sent Jesus here for us we see that He can be a touchable God. Jesus showed us love and kindness He showed us a loving God. We needed that and He knew that we did, would, and will.

God has given me valuable beings to talk to they have listened and prayed for me but I see that I have worn at least one out. I understand that not everyone can listen like God can.

These days I think that I’ve made God smaller I think that I need for Him to be smaller. I need to feel Him next to me. I need to hold His hand to my heart. I need Him to be the one to lean on.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Millyism and MillLife

Shopping for the girls is like sports for the boys.

It’s all good!

Family, fun, great sales folks for my daughter,
&
time well spent out of pocket.

ADVICE * LECTURES
&
LOVE


I LOVE YOU TOO!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Why don’t they value them?

A few mornings ago I had a conversation with some coworkers about how the generation under mine doesn’t value those who are older.

One felt that the hippie movement hurt us. I disagree. . . respectfully.

The government fed us bull stuff and did it over and over again. The grey haired men who were to be leading us were big fat liars. When we realized what was happening all bets were off. Grey haired people were either one of them or suckers for falling for it. So yes the hippie movement did add to it and I without a doubt think that those raised by militant rebellious teens ended up with some big issues where trust is concerned.

The biggest wrongest influence was the ME movement. That’s right the eighties! It was about how we dressed how we ate how we were seen and who we were seen with. Thank God I was in college and then living on my own with very little money and less time to give the eighties much of a real thought. I cared very little for the music and the attitude. I will admit to wearing way too much make up and having big hair. I am after all a girl person.

The hippie movement started it and the ME movement honed the knife so that cutting the ties with your elders was easier.

The conversation started up because one of the women I work with is a bit older than the women in her department. Now I also need to say that she is a bit, well, I was scared of her when I first encountered her. She can quickly put you in your place. I also listened to her and I respected her wisdom. She knows her stuff and she has shown me respect in what I do. I worry when she’s ill unfortunately it’s a lot these days. I once stuck up for her when she was eating something she’s not suppose to and a coworker smarted off about it. She sticks hard to that diet and when she steps off she’s earned it. She is great in telling us to be careful about how we eat and the mistakes that she has made in her life. She has wisdom because she lived it.

Two of the women in her department have the mental capacity of teens in high school. I find that to be very sad because I’d love to work that job. The hours would be hard on me. If I did have that job who do you think I look to for help? You know it the older lady, the one who has worked there for years, the one who knows her way in and out of the computer. The lady who can tell me where anything in the store is and how it works, not the teen minded girls.

I also had a conversation with a younger coworker who has taken a promotion. He said that he had read Solomon and the respected and is learning from his older crew. A glimps of hope in him.

I enjoy my older folks I give them respect because they’ve earned it. Sure some are trying I had to tell a woman several times the same thing the other day and she came back for more information. One of my customers smiled when she interrupted him. I told her when she needed to go and apologized for the interruption he smiled and said she’s probably looking for a cool place to be because her home is hotter. I smiled bigger. I told him that she was a very sweet lady.

I’ll admit at times when I am up to it with craziness at work and some grey haired person demands attention over everyone else I get a bit nettled but I still take care of them as best I can because they’ve earned it.

We need to leave the ME generation behind and teach the young folks to respect and cherish those, us grey haired folks, because soon we will need them. And if they don't step up we are in trouble because we are going to find that we are big bad hospitals alone, rattling around the house alone, starving for life alone and we will miss out because we lived it up and left our older folks in the dust. So put on your big people underwear grow up and show some respect kids or we are going down without the ability to fight.

My hair is decorated . . .still I want my respect ;-}


Sunday, July 27, 2008

Why church?

Now that’s something that we’ve been asked a bit around the blogdom. So then this can be an easy one for us to talk about.


Today as I came down from the booth I spotted a man who seemed a bit lost so I greeted him and asked if I could help him. He seemed to force a smile and responded with shrinkage. I explained that we weren’t about filling a building and he responded by telling me who we were. We weren’t as big as he remembered. I came back with We aren’t about filling a building. His response is like so many others I've encountered. We aren’t? What are we about? My responses We are about worshiping God not filling a building. My worship leader overhearing parts responded with Just filling a building that’s not good, not at all. I smiled and walked away.


So you know he didn’t stomp off at that conversation infact he waved at me later when I was in the fish bowl. (A place where I work at church. . . ok more like play at)

As I was walking in for worship one of the men stopped me. I was so glad to see him because he gave us a bit of a scare, he became ill and was thought to have GBS. He still has a bit to go but is in good spirits. He tells me he has been worried and thinking of me every day. Insert me teary eyed. As we were talking another man who had been rather close to my almost X came over and hugged me and had some very kind words. Ok now I’m holding back my tears.


Come on Milly get to the chairs, that’s all that you have to do find your children and get to the chairs. You know I was stopped by a sister who wanted a hug and to introduce me to another sister who has gone through a divorce. We talked about her first date and laughed a bit. I hope to get to know her better because she seemed like a nice lady. I found my kids and was able to focus on God instead of me.

Why church?

Milly thinks God deserves our attention. We need a place to focus. We need to be told about Him. And for me this week I needed to feel loved by those brothers and sisters. We need to be reminded how very far church has come with divorce and support does just that. No filling that building isn’t important God and His love is. No matter the size or place it’s about HIM.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Free three

On the a free day would be spent post Mark commented

a pub, a book, a beer

I know Mark and if he weren’t with his wife and my niece that’s where he’d want to be and what he’d want to be doing.

My free day if not with my kids

A friend, Panera Bread, an unsweetened iced tea

What are your three?

to note. . .

An honest man's word is his bond.

A half truth is a whole lie. ~Yiddish Proverb

A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. ~Author Unknown

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger. ~Tad Williams

When a man lies, he murders some part of the world. ~Rospo Pallenberg and John Boorman, Excalibur, based on Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Malory


When you lie everything you’ve ever said is taken in as suspect.~Milly

It's a sick game sir to lie for your own amusement and a game not well played at that.

Friday, July 18, 2008

A free day would be spent. . .

Have you ever wanted to wonder why but just couldn’t find the time or the real motivation?


Is that laziness or being too busy or just not giving a damn?


So there you are laying in the clover patch thinking why can’t I wonder why and it hits you. . . a honey bee right between the eyes.


Are you allergic. I’m not.

I can pick them up and move them over for you.


If I a butterfly landed on your nose would you hold your breath and enjoy the moment?
I would.

I wonder where the nearest clover patch is.


Want to meet me there?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

God works in some interesting ways

As I drove to the hospital I began to think about a conversation I had with a coworker. He and I talked about how God works in our lives. Several things had happened to those he loved including death, he was angry with God for the happenings so he went mountain climbing. We do that metaphorically but he actually did it, once he reached the top he began yelling at God. “Is that all you’ve got!” he spent a bit of time yelling at God. It came to him that God was there the he wasn’t alone and that no matter what He would be there for him and there is nothing that he can’t handle because God wouldn’t let go of Him.

So here I was driving to the hospital worried about my dad thinking that I once again had one of those conversations. All I could think was “God is preparing me again, He did with my mom, my uncle, and now He was doing it again.” Don’t get me started on the music that was playing on the radio The Dance golly gee way to get to me.

I have to say that my dad is a tough guy. Several months ago he passed out backing his boat in the water and ended up knee deep in the lake H20. That’s knee deep inside the truck. The doctor thought it was a medication. This time was a big red flag with a flashing light and a loud alarm, he blacked out again in Canada. He went to fish, he loves fishing. They had the chopper on the way he refused to go to the hospital after they revived him. I offered to drive him to the doctor but he refused. They sent him to a specialist, they immediately walked him to the OR. Here’s where he becomes the talked about patient of the day people to whom have a heart rate of thirty are usually brought in to the ER or rushed into a doctor’s office looking very ill. My dad had driven several miles and walked in on his own.

As for fishing well he took second in the tournament and says that he would have taken first had he fished all the days. And yes he says it with a big o’ smile on his face.

I spent the night watching my dad remembering times of a younger stronger man. My dad came in the door ready to love his family that’s why we rushed to be with him. He saw the blessings in his life. Whenever we were sick my dad was soft and gentle he spoke softly to us. I remember how he would move my hair out of my face. My dad had seemed to be invincible when I was a kid and there he was in a bed, in pain, looking so different. Still he’s the best dad in the world and my family and I will now take care of him. (Like it or not. . . he grumbles a bit at us. )

He is so grounded!
No fishing for a while!

Friday, July 11, 2008

with the kids . . .car conversations are so priceless

Miss Littles: Mom we watched a show about a man who lives with bears

The boy spoke up saying something about it being dangerous

Mom: I saw a show about a man who lived with wolves and when the wolves peed around the tent he peed around the tent.



The boy: They were marking their territory.



Mom: Chicks would move the tent

The Boy: They were marking their territory.

Mom: Still. . .Ick!

The Boy: They were marking their territory it's what they do.

Mom: I’m just saying I would move the tent rather than pee around my tent

The Boy: They were marking their territory!

Mom: I'm just saying. . .

The Boy: They were marking the territory!

Mom: It's gross that's all.

The Boy: They were marking their territory!

Mom: Chicks don’t do stuff like that

The Boy: They were marking their territory!

Mom: Is that what you are doing at home because. . . ick. . . and I see no need to do that.

The Boy:MOM!!!!
Miss Littles giggles from the back seat

See priceless!

BAM!


Don’t you hate it when you get sucker punched!


There you are and then BAM you’re on the floor!


Words folks!


Think before you speak!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Prayers

  • Please add Preacherman and his family to your prayer list. He’s ill again.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The sun brings a new day as one ends

I’ve made a little change on my header as you may have noted. It’s a picture that I took while riding in a boat at Disney World in Florida.

I chose this one because it’s not only pretty to look at but it also shows a phase in my life. The vacation was without the man that I was married to for 20 years. He wasn’t invited to join us and I made that very clear. I remember sitting on that boat watching the sun give way to night thinking that it was an ending of a life I know.

I haven’t gone into the divorce without knowing that we will be pain. I was afraid of what it would do to my children. I was afraid of what it would do financially. I was afraid to stay with this man.

I also know that with each sunset is a sunrise and I’m ready to see the beginning of a new day.

God paints the sky and I am blessed

PS Miss Littles has a great cake recipe on her site http://littlesworld-milly.blogspot.com/

Sunday, July 06, 2008

As in my life. . . . . .

The boy and I went to see Get Smart today. It’s not for young kids due to the language and stuff but it was a funny movie. I enjoyed the music and the references to the original show. The movie wasn’t too much like the show but gave us old folks enough to smile at.

My daughter’s new favorite movie is The Spiderwick Chronicles. I enjoyed the movie each time I had to watch it. I loved the flower fairies such a pretty fantasy. Miss Littles has professed to me that she sees fairies in her room and once in awhile throughout the house. We’re sure to invite them along when we move. She has wonderful delights about how they play about and tells me that some aren’t so nice. I suppose the fairy world isn’t that far from ours.

At church folks are full of concern for us. It’s appreciated and I do feel the love and blessings but it’s as if someone is around every corner. I spoke with a sister today and shocked her by telling her what had been going on. I had assumed most of those who know us knew.

The boy and I are watching the news. It’s always a fun thing for me to do because he’s so smart and has lots of opinions. Miss Littles watches the local news every morning and will have a cake recipe for ya’ll posted soon. I’ve tasted it and think you should make yourself one.

Things around here have been a bit off to say the least. Mediation went well enough and I’m processing what was said.

Last night I spent some time talking with a friend after work. I’ll have some views on what we talked about sometime. I’ve always tried to see things in different shoes and she certainly showed me a different sneaker.


God is my sanctuary

Monday, June 30, 2008

I have a prayer request for my friends in Blog Land.

I want to tell you about my friend, she’s one of those people that I was just drawn to. Honestly, she had me at hello and I suppose I had her also. We’ve spent hours talking about life, God, kids, marriage, and nothing at all. We’ve laughed and cried together and I’d honestly cut my right arm off to save her life.

When I told her what was going on in my life and that I was divorcing my husband she yelled at me for not calling her for support. She was loud about it. She was also right I do need her. I called her just the other night to vent about something to find that she was recovering from surgery. I knew that she needed it but didn’t know when she was going in. My sorry self has been so consumed with me and the kids that I have neglected others.

Tonight I smiled when my phone rang her ring tone, that smile left my face when she told me that they found cancer.


CANCER!

She’s reassured me that she’s fine and that this one has a high cure rate. I looked it up because that’s how us bloggers roll. It's about a 96% cure rate.

Still. . .
I worry. . .
She’s worried about me and how mediation is going to go so she's is calling me Thursday on her way to tell her mom and the kids.

She’s worried about me!

She has CANCER and she’s ready to cut her right arm off for me!

That's why God gave us friends.

We talked tonight about how we didn’t need anyone else but God and yet He gave us friends
.

Thanks God!

PS Call a friend this week just to talk

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Not gonna let the apple hit me again

I love the song below and at first I didn’t get why, read the words.


I Move on like a sinner's prayer
Lettin' go like a levee brakes
Walk away as if I don’t care
Learn to shoulder my mistakes
I'm built to fade like your favorite song
Get reckless when there’s no need
Laugh as your stories ramble on
Break my heart, but it won’t bleed
My only friends are pirates
It’s just who I am
I’m better as a memory
Than as your man
Never sure when the truth won’t do
I'm pretty good on a lonely night
I move on the way the storm blows through
I never stay but then again I might
I struggle sometimes to find the words
Always sure until I doubt
Walk a line until it blurs
Build walls too high to clime out
But I'm honest to a fault
It’s just who I am
I'm better as a memory
Than as you man
I see you leaning
You’re bound to fall
I don’t want to be that mistake
I’m just a dreamer
Nothing more
You should know it before it gets too late
'Cause Goodbyes are like a roulette wheel
You never know where they're gonna land
First you’re spinning then your standin' still
Left holdin' A losing hand
One day your gonna find someone
Right away you'll know it’s true
That all of your seekin's done
It’s just a part of the passing through
Right there in that moment
You'll finally understand
That I was better as a memory than as your man
Better as a memory than as your man
By Kenny Chesney


It hit me like a ton of apples the other day as I was singing along. This bad boy is being decent and that is why we girls took a bite of the forbidden fruit! He is telling us what he knew we’d fall for. Not me never ever again . . . I still like the song but I will keep Eve close to me. I wonder if she prayed for her sisters. I wonder if she hoped that no woman would ever trust the serpent and take the bite of forbidden fruit.

I hope a pray that we can walk away from that bad boy no matter how sweet that fruit looks.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Littles World

Miss Littles has a request on her blog.

http://littlesworld-milly.blogspot.com/

She's speaking from a eight year old's heart.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Love socks of monkey

Monday I wore my sock monkey socks so you know all went well.

On my dashboard I placed the picture K gave me when we visited OKC and something Miss Littles gave me from church. I read a few lines from the book I was reading while listening to the local Christian station. Talked to God and went into the office. We walked across the street talking all the way about life, changes, and just stuff.

What I heard was heartbreaking and soon in will come to pass.

I wore my Sock Monkey socks that G gave me so you know I had love at my feet.

God is sending me those who will give love and prayers.

Thank you Mark, K, and G love ya!

Thank you to all who are pray'n

Friday, June 13, 2008

On my reading to do list is


Mike Mullane was signing copies of his book Riding Rockets at the Kennedy Space Center so we took the opportunity to take a picture of him with my son and have a few things autographed. He let people know as they purchased the book that it was not for youngsters. "This is not a kids book." because of life stuff I haven’t had the wanted time to read but I’m a bit of the way in and I have to agree that it isn’t for the young adventures. It’s been good so far and it’s left me wanting to keep reading even when I know the 4:21 am alarm is going to be hard on me. Here’s what he wrote in my book.

My real name here

Dream Big!
Mike Mullane
515,41D,27,36 (some of these numbers might be wrong. Sorry Mike if they are.)
5/31/08

I just don’t have big dreams right now. I want my kids to be ok and I want to be able to put them in a safe home. I want more for them than anything. I want them to know that God and mom are right here for them.

I guess these are big enough dreams for a mom.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

The boy glows

Please hold my son in your prayers as he learns to be the hands and feet of Christ.
He’s on a mission trip again and as some of you might remember last year he landed in the hospital. My son in the glow of the fireworks at Disney World.

Friday, June 06, 2008

I was just thinking and wondering if. . . .&. . . Why. . .

If God isn’t sending anyone to hell then is everyone going to Heaven?

Even those who don’t want God?

What about those fallen angels?

Where are the ones who will turn away going?

Why does it say that we will face judgement if we have no consequences?


Anyway just think'n today, even in the fog of vacation messes, just think'n.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Home is where the mess is!

We are home!

The Space Shuttle is an amazing wonderment. I’d recommend going to anyone who is interested in space exploration. My son was so delighted by this event.




Cocoa beach didn’t seem to have a Jennie in a bottle for us to find but it did have a tremendous amount of family fun. My children could spend days playing on the beach. I’m still finding sand in things.


Mickey Mouse Land was wonderful and exhausting. I loved looking around the worlds in Epcot. Although I did speak to a lady working there about the trolls. She told me that they aren’t the things that they have everywhere in her country, they only have them in the story books. Gee do you think that we Americanized the countries? ;-}

France is a great place to have a treat. Yummy!

We had breakfast with Mickey, Pluto, Lilo and Stitch. Stitch sat in my chair and drank my juice. The kids were tickled.

Miss Littles and I had dinner one evening in Cinderella’s castle. It was quite an affair. The Fairy Godmother put her hands on my shoulders and spoke to me during the performance. I was thrilled! I played her in a high school production.









The coolest characters for me to see were Eeyore and Snow White. I gave Eeyore a big hug. Snow was so pretty. She’s the prettiest of them all.

I’m up to my eyes in laundry, need to make something for dinner, and I feel as if I’m about to drop. I’ll be talking with you all later.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Vacation update

I’m using the condo computer so not much information today.

My little beach bums were happy to be back in the water. We didn’t find a Jennie on Cocoa Beach

The space shuttle launch was amazing!

I can’t wait to share photos with you folks.

I'm getting ready for Mickey World.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Almost Time!


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