Good Bye ladies

It’s amazing how God places people into our hearts.
Two wonderful ladies from my life passed this month.
I shall forever be blessed by those women.
One gave me the gift of books and reading.
The other showed me how to be strong and how to cook.


Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life.

Pull it-Drag it-Hide from it. It just won't go away

Last night as I listened to a friend and gave advice I thought about how we hold on to our childhood mindsets without really realizing it.

That is until. . . .

Warning if you are anti same sex relationships then stop reading. I will hold my feeling about the issue and ask that you also do the same the post is about relationship and mind set not same sex ideas.

My friend is a nice young woman who is stable, generous, and dependable. She gave a friend a kidney knowing it would compromise her life, jobs, and hurt her financially. She holds down three jobs to support herself.

Last night we sat at the break table and talked about her new relationship and what was working and what wasn’t. As I listened to her talk I heard her say it wasn’t expectable to be gay growing up. There it is one of the reasons she has trouble relaxing into a relationship. She shook her head no but I pointed out what she had said. She grew up in a very religious family with parents who didn’t show affection at all to each other. Her mother was treated like a possession. No wonder she is having trouble in a relationship.

We were interrupted because she was on the clock and our boss called looking for her. It’s all good he loves us.

Get past how you feel about same sex relationships and think about how we drag our past into our now. Yes some of them get dragged. We know we have them in tow and we still take them with us knowing it’s going to wreck things. It’s like we can’t help ourselves. We clean out the closet and still place them in the keep pile.


Have you ever found yourself pulling it into your relationship? I'd bet you have. You may not even know it. My parents had a great relationship. They openly kissed and told each other I love you. I wanted that with my ex. We were open about kissing at times but not I love you. I had to say it first and then was crushed when he failed to say it back. It killed me to be the first every night to say I love you. I tried a few times to hold out and to see if he would say it first. He wouldn't and my heart was broken each night. He's say it after sex making it even worse. Guys we ladies want to hear it out of the bedroom not just in the bedroom.


Sometimes they hide inside our brains tucked up under that little end table that grandma had with a hand carved pineapple base. You are just hanging out with someone you love and WHAM your mom’s voice is coming out of your mouth. You find yourself saying “That’s how my dad did it.” BTW your loved one will and is allowed to make that snappy come back “If you know it’s the way he did it and its wrong then change it.” If only you could! I know my ex has said that to me and I have made the come back and nothing got changed.

I told my friend that she is right in getting therapy. I never finished my degree so I am not the expert on this one. I still try years of classes and blogging seems to make me feel like I should be able to speak up.


So how do I let go of all those relationship eating things? I have no idea today but I’ll know if I ever meet a man that makes me think about relationships that I'll need to shed myself of them. I have a feeling that they will still show up. I'll still have moments of distrust from being in a bad marriage. God bless the man that can take it in and help me through it day by day.

Fun questions

Here's some fun ones to answer if you want or not.


1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:20 am

2. How do you like your steak? Well done

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Jo Bros 3D

4. What is your favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Alaska but I love it here also because I have friends and family around

6. What did you have for breakfast? I was a bad girl but try’n to kill a head banger. Naked juice and donuts

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike? Baked fish

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Taco Bueno, Pei Wei, Lone Star, Logans etc

10. Favorite salad dressing? Depends on my mood and what kind of salad

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Equinox

12. Your favorite thing to wear? Jeans, sneakers, a shirt.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Hmmm so many places to go

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Definitely 1/2 full!! But wondering who drank half?

15. Where would you want to retire? I get to retire!!!!!!!!!

16. Favorite time of day? Sunrise

17. Where were you born? Tulsa Oklahoma

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? I’m a mood watcher depends on how I feel and what’s on

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Those who don't want to

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See number 19

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? everyone!!

22. Bird watcher? Is one flying over me now?!!!!!?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning

24. Do you have any pets? Yes a kitten will be here soon. If it’s a girl Khloey if it’s a boy Hobbs.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I’d like no more excitement for a while

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Zoologist

27. What is your best childhood memory? Zoo classes

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Both

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

31. Been in a car accident? Yes

32. Any pet peeves? Yes several

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Not a pizza snob. I’ll eat almost any kind except Greek because of allergies. Lamb puts me to bed.

34. Favorite Flower? I love them all

35. Favorite ice cream? I love them all

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bueno

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? zero

38. From whom did you get your last email? An old friend Roger

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? What Dea said credit cards are evil, Use debit cards... I don’t have a credit card.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Heh! You asking me!

41. Like your job? LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!

42. Broccoli? Yes! Let do some

43. What was your favorite vacation? Alaska and Disney World

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Kids

45. What are you listening to right now? TV and my children too bad the kids don’t have a mute button.

46. What is your favorite color? Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have? Zero I see bad ones every day at work

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? None if you want to do it49. What time did you finish this quiz? 8:22pm time for bed

50. Coffee Drinker? Starbucks espresso truffle is dreamy

Good Ride Cowboy

Psalm 23

(New International Version)

A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.





Ed without knowing it you were a part of my teen life.

A high school friend is hurting so much today. Her dad died. I didn’t know him well at all but he was a part of our lives because she made him so.

I met my friend because I was wearing children’s Mickey Mouse sun glasses at night. They were so cool! When I turned my head Mickey ran to the other side. Well not really it just looked that way. So one night I walked up to some kids from high school and she was there. Who could resist getting to know the odd chic in Mickey sun glasses? We hit it off right away and have tried to stay in touch for all the many years that have passed.

I couldn’t make it to the services because of several reasons one being the drive would kill my knee. I wanted to be there but I also know that you just don’t care when it’s your loved one. I ached for her this morning because I remember hating that morning knowing what was at hand when mom died.

Back to Ed.

He was Ed to us, that’s what she called him. We heard about him often “Old Ed”.
Well Ed you raised a good daughter and you were a huge part of us.
I thank you for having lunch with me a couple of years ago.

May the wind be at your back and the horses in Heaven give you a good ride Cowboy.

When we cross that river Jordan,With St Peter on the other side
Singin' Good Ride Cowboy,
Good Ride!
Say Good Ride Cowboy,
Good Ride!

a life time. . .

There’s a million things that I should be doing tonight.
Worship slides
house work
packing for my dad’s
talking to God
writing thank you notes
but here I am posting.....

I haven’t finished the worship slides because I haven’t started them yet. I’m not sure what the picture theme will be yet. I’ll know it when I get there.

I need to tidy up the house so that it won’t be such a chore when I am laying around.
The kids and I are hanging out with my dad for a few days while I recover a bit. He’s a good daddy and was always great at taking care of me and the kids when we were sick.
We always need our special God time.

I owe a few folks note of thanks. Some for bringing church to us one Sunday night. If you know the church that I attend the guy playing the guitar are sitting in my family room. One of my friends brought us dinner one night. And several have called and sent notes. It’s great to have a church family. If you doubt the value of having one come hang with us for a while, we’ll show you.

The biggest reason that I love my job is because I love the people and I love seeing how they react to life. The social psychology major want-a-be comes out in me . Most of the time the theater major is preforming.

One man now grumbles at me and really doesn’t look at me anymore since I turned him down for a date, I think it makes his friend happy because he smiles big when he mumbles as he walks past me. I do feel bad but now way no how.

One man seeks me out so that I can wait on him and chat. He’s a nice older man.
One man has backed off because he found out that I’m a Christian. He hasn’t asked me to seek off for an affair all week. He still talks to me a bit and they are much better conversations.

People are interesting some sad some angry like the woman who was on her cell phone the whole time I was helping her refusing to pay attention to me. I get that a lot because we are a contractor store. These guys work hard and they need to make every moment count. When one of the men’s hotdog threw up relish and onions in a big splat I felt that I should warn the woman that she was going to step in it and might fall. She turned and gave me a nasty look but I still kept on guard. She then looked at the rather large for a hotdog sized pile of relish and onions and just missed it. Sis she take the phone from her ear and thank me? Did she mouth thank you? Did she get me a thumb up? No she gave me a nasty look and walked out.

I cleaned up the mess. And yes the guy apologized and offered to clean it up himself.

Sometimes I wonder about people.

Miss Littles has a very runny nose today so we have tissues piling up. It hasn’t stopped her from roller skating all over the house. Yes I’m that kind of parent. She’s not the one who fell and broke a hip. The one running from Miss Littles did that.

I have been peeking in on ya’ll and have from time to time had a bit to say. Golly time seems to rush away from us.

I called an old friend the other day. Life hasn’t been kind to her then again she hasn’t been kind to life at times. I hate that she is so ill and that her daughter is no longer in her life. I do miss her.
I wish my friend who is embarking on a new path nothing but a great life.

A great life. . .
What is that?
It’s sorrow and love it’s life real life.
It’s sitting in front of your home and loving those in it.
It’s knowing your mistakes and being honest enough to say the out loud
It’s learning and correcting
It’s a life led by God
It’s seeking Jesus with your family and in the darkness of yourself
It’s what I have

Do you?

An old friend stopped by

Today I heard from DugALug
If you haven't read his blog please take the time to do so.
He and his wife have written some heart touching words.

DugALug we will all continue to pray for you and your family!

http://firstflite.blogspot.com/

Happy Happy

Thank goodness they didn't put the number of birthdays on it.

However, having firefighters share cake with me would be a nice gift.

Sock Monkey was born to be wild!

Miss Littles pumpkin.

Have a happy no matter what your family does.

Why church?

Now that’s something that we’ve been asked a bit around the blogdom. So then this can be an easy one for us to talk about.


Today as I came down from the booth I spotted a man who seemed a bit lost so I greeted him and asked if I could help him. He seemed to force a smile and responded with shrinkage. I explained that we weren’t about filling a building and he responded by telling me who we were. We weren’t as big as he remembered. I came back with We aren’t about filling a building. His response is like so many others I've encountered. We aren’t? What are we about? My responses We are about worshiping God not filling a building. My worship leader overhearing parts responded with Just filling a building that’s not good, not at all. I smiled and walked away.


So you know he didn’t stomp off at that conversation infact he waved at me later when I was in the fish bowl. (A place where I work at church. . . ok more like play at)

As I was walking in for worship one of the men stopped me. I was so glad to see him because he gave us a bit of a scare, he became ill and was thought to have GBS. He still has a bit to go but is in good spirits. He tells me he has been worried and thinking of me every day. Insert me teary eyed. As we were talking another man who had been rather close to my almost X came over and hugged me and had some very kind words. Ok now I’m holding back my tears.


Come on Milly get to the chairs, that’s all that you have to do find your children and get to the chairs. You know I was stopped by a sister who wanted a hug and to introduce me to another sister who has gone through a divorce. We talked about her first date and laughed a bit. I hope to get to know her better because she seemed like a nice lady. I found my kids and was able to focus on God instead of me.

Why church?

Milly thinks God deserves our attention. We need a place to focus. We need to be told about Him. And for me this week I needed to feel loved by those brothers and sisters. We need to be reminded how very far church has come with divorce and support does just that. No filling that building isn’t important God and His love is. No matter the size or place it’s about HIM.

As in my life. . . . . .

The boy and I went to see Get Smart today. It’s not for young kids due to the language and stuff but it was a funny movie. I enjoyed the music and the references to the original show. The movie wasn’t too much like the show but gave us old folks enough to smile at.

My daughter’s new favorite movie is The Spiderwick Chronicles. I enjoyed the movie each time I had to watch it. I loved the flower fairies such a pretty fantasy. Miss Littles has professed to me that she sees fairies in her room and once in awhile throughout the house. We’re sure to invite them along when we move. She has wonderful delights about how they play about and tells me that some aren’t so nice. I suppose the fairy world isn’t that far from ours.

At church folks are full of concern for us. It’s appreciated and I do feel the love and blessings but it’s as if someone is around every corner. I spoke with a sister today and shocked her by telling her what had been going on. I had assumed most of those who know us knew.

The boy and I are watching the news. It’s always a fun thing for me to do because he’s so smart and has lots of opinions. Miss Littles watches the local news every morning and will have a cake recipe for ya’ll posted soon. I’ve tasted it and think you should make yourself one.

Things around here have been a bit off to say the least. Mediation went well enough and I’m processing what was said.

Last night I spent some time talking with a friend after work. I’ll have some views on what we talked about sometime. I’ve always tried to see things in different shoes and she certainly showed me a different sneaker.


God is my sanctuary

I have a prayer request for my friends in Blog Land.

I want to tell you about my friend, she’s one of those people that I was just drawn to. Honestly, she had me at hello and I suppose I had her also. We’ve spent hours talking about life, God, kids, marriage, and nothing at all. We’ve laughed and cried together and I’d honestly cut my right arm off to save her life.

When I told her what was going on in my life and that I was divorcing my husband she yelled at me for not calling her for support. She was loud about it. She was also right I do need her. I called her just the other night to vent about something to find that she was recovering from surgery. I knew that she needed it but didn’t know when she was going in. My sorry self has been so consumed with me and the kids that I have neglected others.

Tonight I smiled when my phone rang her ring tone, that smile left my face when she told me that they found cancer.

CANCER!

She’s reassured me that she’s fine and that this one has a high cure rate. I looked it up because that’s how us bloggers roll. It's about a 96% cure rate.

Still. . .
I worry. . .
She’s worried about me and how mediation is going to go so she's is calling me Thursday on her way to tell her mom and the kids.

She’s worried about me!

She has CANCER and she’s ready to cut her right arm off for me!

That's why God gave us friends.

We talked tonight about how we didn’t need anyone else but God and yet He gave us friends.

Thanks God!

PS Call a friend this week just to talk