Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I'm Home Here

Can you guess where my Jr. prom was held?

Here it is Danny Kaye the SHAMELESS plug you’ve been waiting for.

The Great State Of Oklahoma!

I'd love to hear about your great states folks.

We still say thank ya, yes sir, yes ma'am, and most of the time hold the door fer ya.

We move a bit slower and we try not to fuss too much.


State Colors
Green and White

State Grass
Indian Grass

State Insect

State Motto
"Labor Omnia Vincit" - Labor conquers all things

State Nickname
Sooner State

State Song
"OKLAHOMA!" from the Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical of the same name.

The photo was taken by my son at The OKC Memorial

Brand new state!
Brand new state, gonna treat you great!
Gonna give you barley, carrots and pertaters!
Pasture fer the cattle, spinach and termayters!
Flowers on the prairie where the June bugs zoom, Plen'y of air and plen'y of room, Plen'y of room to swing a rope!
Plen'y of heart and plen'y of hope!
Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain, And the waivin' wheat can sure smell sweet When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Oklahoma, ev'ry night my honey lamb and I Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk makin' lazy circles in the sky.
We know we belong to the land And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say YEEOW! A-Yip-I-oee-ay!
We're only sayin' You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!

• Oklahoma's name is derived from two Choctaw words, "okla" meaning people, and "humma" meaning red; literally meaning "red people."

• The "Trail of Tears" began in the 1830s. It was the journey of the Five Civilized Tribes from the southeastern United States to Indian Territory. The relocation was forced.

• The Five Civilized Tribes attempted statehood in 1905 under the name Sequoyah

• There are 39 tribes and nations of American Indians with headquarters in Oklahoma. Descendants of the original 67 tribes inhabiting Indian Territory still live here.

• Oklahoma has four mountain ranges: Ouachitas, Arbuckles, Wichitas, and the Ozarks
• Forests cover 24 percent of Oklahoma

• The Poteau River is the only river in Oklahoma that flows north.

• The world's largest single deposit of pure alabaster may be found in the Alabaster caverns near Freedom, Oklahoma.

• Oklahoma is linked to the world's waters by the McClellan-Kerr Navigation system--flowing on the Arkansas River through Arkansas to the Mississippi River to the Gulf of Mexico.

• The highest elevation in the state is Black Mesa, 4,978 feet, in far northwestern Oklahoma.

• The lowest elevation in the state is in the southeast corner near Idabel, at 324 feet

• Oklahoma has the distinction of having the highest hill in the world, Mount Cavanal, at 1,999 feet.

• Oklahoma has more man-made lakes (200) than any other state, over one million surface-acres of water, and 2,000 more miles of shoreline than the Atlantic and Gulf coasts combined.

• The largest lake in Oklahoma is Lake Eufaula, covering 102,000 surface acres of water.


Spiro Indians, linked to the Aztecs, thrived and left burial mounds filled with exquisite artwork and clues to their way of life. A museum displaying their artifacts is near Spiro.

Viking explorers visited eastern Oklahoma and left their mark near the town of Heavener.

Oklahoma's recorded history began when Spanish explorer Coronado carved his name and the date on a rock near the Cimarron River in western Oklahoma.

Oklahoma was part of the Louisiana Purchase.

Ft. Gibson was the first fort to be established in Oklahoma.

Land in Indian Territory was opened to white settlement by land runs, lotteries, and auctions. The territory was split in half, and the western half became Oklahoma Territory.

The first land run was held April 22nd. At exactly noon, a cannon boom signaled the start of the run which opened the Unassigned Lands for settlement.

The Sac and Fox, Pottawatomie-Shawnee Lands, located just east of the original run site, were opened on September 21.
The Cheyenne and Arapaho lands in western Oklahoma were opened for run on April 19.

The largest and most spectacular run in northern Oklahoma, the Cherokee Strip, was held on September 16.

On May 23rd, the Kickapoo Land Run was held in central Oklahoma.

November 16, Oklahoma became the 46th state to join the

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

From Boy to Teen!

It’s mission trip count down time and the mom is a bit apprehensive about her son going. On one hand his new found fight of authority says "Let the boy go he’ll see what the outside world is like." The threshold of thirteen has brought a vocabulary of: Why? How come? I can if I want. And my favorite. . . No I’m not going to. His father’s eyes blaze at these. I’m calmer I know the worst is yet to come. I was once young and I was, at times, allowed to talk back. Not only was I the baby but they knew, the worst is yet to come! It’s like a horror movie. I hear one night you tuck them in and the next morning they wake as . . . .teenagers!!!!

"So" he just said "so" when I pointed out that the dishwasher needs to be emptied. I so’d him back over something important to him. Now I’m stooping to his level. No. . .wait. . I was merely pointing out that being so’d at isn’t a good thing. That’s it. Just being a good parent. The truth is that I’m kind of like Brandon’s mom in Home Movies, an adult swim cartoon.

He’s a good kid in spite of the fact that he’s testing us. He gets my jokes and throws them right back, he is polite, and very intelligent. I doubt that I will have to worry about him as much as others worry about their teens. My son is adamant about not drinking or smoking in the future. He hates taking any kind of medication. Still his eagle eyed parents will always be on the watch.

Today was check up day because he needs a new huffer and a shot. The doctor is very concerned about him going. Now see. . . I didn’t need that. I needed her to say don’t worry he’ll be great. I’m already worried about him. Now I’m trying not to freak out.

I know the people going so I will give them very strict orders for my baby trying to grow up. I doubt I'll be alone. God is with them. My son will see what the real world is like first hand. He has grown tired of my when I was a kid I had friends who put in a days worth of work before they caught the bus. Heck, I was considered a bit well off in that little country town. My chores were small, gardening and cattle when needed. We had a nice little home in the woods. My best friend had a small home off the dirt road it looked like a shack to some I’m sure. Her clothes didn’t always match and her dad was a drunk. One of my friends had no electricity, phone, or plumbing. All of them knew what work was.

My children have no clue.

My son will get one soon.

Monday, May 29, 2006



Well here goes my dream so to speak:

This is the first time I’ve actually put my mouth where my mind is. I do believe that when we can all play nicely on this earth’s playground, it will be the beginning of the very end. That wasn’t my first thought when this came to me. My first was that this would be great for my community then when the subject of UNITY was everywhere I realized that it’s God plan to bring the churches together. Now, in no way do I think that COCs and CCs will ever give up the differences while on this earth, however, we can put our Bible thumping egos down and see each other in a respectful way.

When I was married, I was allowed to bring in a priest to be a part of the service. I did this as respect to my in-laws. Some people frowned upon it, and I’m sure from both sides. We were not allowed to take communion as a couple because my husband would be taking it in a non Catholic church. That really made me crazy. What would Jesus do? I let it go because they were my in-laws and my husband wasn’t fighting that battle. The priest was very nice and knew our church, the churches had helped each other during a flood. Unity to help others.

The plan:

Several years ago it came to me that the churches in our area should unite for an afternoon of prayer and unity. Not in each individual church as we do on The Day Of Prayer, but in a church. Each minister, preacher, priest, etc.... given the opportunity to give a prayer. The community united as one to pray together for our city, children, lives, etc...

If any offering would be taken it would go to the community such as a food pantry or some other services needed.

We have picnicked together with another church that met at our church, the occasion was met with mixed reviews. We had a few people from the community who had never gone to our churches join us. One was a friend who attends a different church. She was very impressed with the fact that two very different groups can welcome each other and so lovingly.
We are suppose to love each other.

I realize my upbringing make me a bit more open to all kinds of people and religious beliefs. I’ve attended several different kinds of services and the common factor cannot be ignored. We love GOD.

I’m going to talk to the minister and associate minister about this idea as soon as God puts it in my mouth to say it. I promise to keep you posted. It could be just a little seed and I may never see it grow in my life time. I do think that every community needs to know that the churches that surround them love them. In Oklahoma that’s a lot of love, we are the buckle in the Bible belt.


Friday, May 26, 2006

My Earth Past

Harsh Realities
Dana Tiger

My heritage is both Cowboy and Indian. I have a few of Dana Tiger's prints and yep, that's our store.

My native American heritage saddens me for those who walked before me. The hardship. My people were force to deny who they were in order for the children to be allowed the white man’s teaching. So much lost.

I love the tales of the old west I think I’ve seen almost every western made. My great grandfather was a cowboy.

I was reading some cowboyisms and thought I’d share. Being a cowboy was a hard life so the fact that they must of had a love for it makes it better to saver these.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

( Milly adds Nuff said)

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

(Milly says Remember that boys)

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

(Milly’s addition -Use a shovel and dig for fishing worms)

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

(I aint say’n nut'n)

Careful is a naked man climbin' a barbed wire fence

( ;-) A. . . we was a just a talking, honest )

"Some people grin and bear it. Other people smile and change it."

(Milly asks. Are you smiling yet?)

"By drawing on the strength of the women of my Creek Indian ancestry, I am better able to portray the dignity and determination of contemporary women." Dana Tiger

The Great Spirit is in all things: he is in the air we breathe. The Great Spirit is our Father, but the earth is our mother. She nourishes us; that which we put into the ground she returns to us
- Big Thunder (Bedagi) Wabanaki Algonquin

"The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us."
Black Elk - Oglala Sioux
"Sometimes dreams are wiser than waking."

Thursday, May 25, 2006


I’m not a sappy person. I read fairy tales and saw that the couple had to work very hard to be together. I also got that fairy tales weren’t intended for children. Read Fitcher’s Bird by the Brothers Grimm, not exactly for the children.

I had dreams of meeting a great guy and falling in love, in fact I believe that something happens when we fall in love. . . we loose all reason. We love this person and that is more than enough to carry us through for the rest of our wonderful, no mist to walk in and slide on rainbows to live. . . . hold it . . . a honey did you remember to empty the trash? That’s ok sweetheart I can do it. ( I always do) A honey I started my car and a cat. . . well there is a lot of flying fur and stuff. Please don’t hurt the poor thing any more than the. . .A sweetheart did you know the washer is leaking?. . .A the roof on our new house and I think that I hear mice and can we get new drapes because the cats from the previous owners. . .A sweetheart Thumper died today. And I love you so could you remember to put the. . .

It’s stuff it’s day-to-day-to-day stuff. It’s handing him a small bag afraid that he will be. . . that he will freak out when he sees the positive test and a pair of baby booties only to have him grab you in excitement and hold you. It’s having the person you love hold your hand when you have to make funeral arrangements for a loved one. It’s the person you love understand when you sit up all night crying and praying for a man who needs to find God before he dies. It’s as the song says It’s Mud and Guts and Barbecue Sauce and Finger Paint’n the Town.

A somewhat wise friend once told me that marriage is 100% this means if you are giving 10% he must give 90% it always has to add up. I believe this to be true. If one is giving more than the other then eventually the one giving the most will leave. I was giving less last year I went through a mid life look back at my mistakes thing. I was upset by a realization of the fact that an ex had most likely been watching me and knew when to step into the current relationship. My husband questioned me as to why that was upsetting because this path led me to him. I was upset because I felt stupid and betrayed by what he had done. It took me almost twenty years to see it. My husband didn’t leave me when I spent hours writing instead of being plugged in, he just waited for me to pull myself together. I have and now I’m very happy.

We have supported each other when we can’t deal with the outside world. He’s a worrier and a planner. I’m a dreamer and a happy person. I wake with the ability to see a new beginning. He wakes with a plan. I won’t see the next doctor until July he is talking about how a complication in surgery killed someone who knew someone. . . who. He tells me I can’t leave yet we still have things to do. I have no intention of dying from a routine operation if I have to have it. (I will, I’m sure)

We have gone from immature beings to parents. We have grown together and grown up together.

In a few days we will celebrate eighteen years of marriage. Good and bad we have made it eighteen years. The church where we were married, he was baptized almost eighteen years later. I was baptized there before we met. It is a roller coaster in the circle of life and I’m blessed to be on that ride with that man.

So I am a bit sappy. I love him.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Paradise> noun 2 the Garden of Eden

She woke with no past. . .only now. . .no future to think of. . .only today. Her every need met, she wanted for nothing. Her companion a man not just any man the only man. Her Father walked with her every day they talked she saw and felt nothing but love from Him and within her. Life for her was perfect.

She was curios of the stranger by the tree of the forbidden fruit. He promised her knowledge his lies wrapped around her brain. The sin was beautiful tempting her to taste it. Her husband stood next to her. I wonder his thoughts, it doesn’t say then Adam tried to reason with her he wasn’t fetching water.
He was with her. . . With her.

They were ashamed of what they had done. God knew what had happened, He didn’t have to ask. Just as we know who made the mess in the play room. The six year old did it. If you believe in predestination, He knew that they would give in. Why else place those things in the path of their lives? To be honest we would have. After all we do it almost every day in what we see and do.

I find it interesting that we as humans are so quick to blame others. Adam was the first to say, it was her fault. The first person to point the finger at someone else for his sin. She must have felt a bit betrayed at that. I would have. He was with her. She was next, the serpent did it. We do it, don’t we? The sins mounted. Just as our sins mount up when we are trying to lay blame. I wonder had they said "Yes Father we did it we have only ourselves to blame" if things would have been different? I punish less if my children admit to the wrong doing and own up right away.

She was then given painful childbearing. For those men who believe that women are to have pain in the delivery room. Get out and work the soil. That’s right, stop sitting in you cubical and work the soil.

God didn’t just evict them. He made it clear that they were no longer welcome.

Her heart must have been broken for what she had done. He husband betrayed her. Her Father had shown anger towards her. A new emotion. She had only felt joy in her life and in a moment of bad judgement it was all taken away. Her joy turned to fear, loneliness, and shame. I wonder when anger set in towards Adam. I know that I would have found it rather quickly. I would have tried to apologize as we searched for a new way to live. Then when he again turned the blame on me I would have struck quickly. It isn’t in the Bible how they felt that night, did they cling to each other afraid of the outside world? Had the forbidden fruit given them the knowledge of sins to come in this world? What an overwhelming amount of fear and pain.

What sorrow she must have felt when her son killed his brother. Her child. Her baby did she feel guilt for her son's sins? She must have felt so alone at times. Was Adam a loving man to her? I think that he must have been because he knew God. Eve seems to take the blame of so many sins that happen to us. She is the reason some men treat women as subservient beings. They fail to read that he was with her. He didn’t grab her arm to stop her. I think he was just as taken by the fruit and lies as she was.

Is it her fault that having a baby is painful? If it is I forgive her of a sin that I too have committed. I’ve opened a bottle of vodka, I’ve seen movies that were sinful, I have lusted, I have sinned and my husband has been with me at times. With me. Eve is a sister I can’t blame her for the sins I’d commit. Nor can I blame the sins yet to come.

I know that I’m forgiven because He is with me. With us.

Monday, May 22, 2006


As I was listening to music this morning I started thinking about the sports that I enjoy. Not an odd thing for me to transition to because I was listening to Chris LeDoux.
I love Bull Riding. I check the stats and have tickets for the next .

I love hockey and enjoy Schutzhund . I am also a Dallas Cowboys fan.

All of these are aggressive sports.

Bull riding requires a person to get on a bull that has been chosen to buck. The bull is also rated so that the stock breeder makes sure the ride is a good one. You don’t want a bull that doesn’t give a good performance it means less points and a re-ride doesn’t always go well. You have to sit on this huge animal who’s only job in life is to buck a cowboy off and make good stock. (As in breeding) Not too hard a life. Eight seconds doesn’t seem to be a whole lot when you’re sit’n in front of your computer. Try flying around, being tossed about, slammed to the ground, and hopefully not stepped on by a large beast.. BTW guys, no cup, it makes it worse.

Hockey is a very fast paced sport and . . . most of us know hockey. I don’t like to see them fight and I believe most true fans don’t. We love the skill of it.

Schutzhund is a German dog sport. Tracking, obedience, and protection. Yes, the latter is my favorite. I was once training my dog and let the decoy choose what he wanted me to do. He instructed me to just open the crate and send him. I still get goose bumps thinking of that moment when my dog flew at that sleeve. I stood enthralled at the sight of him holding it. Not the best thing because you need to out the dog at some point after all there is a guy under there. They slip the sleeve and your happy dog gets to parade around with it.
Football is football. I never really got the game until my husband explained it to me. Now I enjoy the Cowboys. Drew’s arm is amazing.

I enjoy baseball, not like I use to Pete Rose was the guy who taught me to love it. His face lit up when the play was good his wonderful smile. It’s changed now they seem to just be playing for money at times. I think the minors are better now then the majors. I miss Pete Rose and Johnny Bench when the Reds were the best.

I use to enjoy the idea of tennis, I’m just not good at it and can’t sit and watch for long. I find this a bit strange because I can watch fishing. Then again I love to fish. When you watch fishing you need to listen to what they say it’s a hoot. I love archery but not BB guns. I love Nas car racing hate the wrecks.

Why do I love sports where men get slammed? I was wondering this at five AM as I drove to work. I like men and rarely do the man slam in fact I hate the man slam. I love boxing. HMM. . . .Sigmund Freud would have a field day with this.

Milly in therapy?


Saturday, May 20, 2006

Hubby's question

My husband has been conversing at work with a man who believes once saved always saved and this question has been asked.

Input from you folks would be appreciated.

If God loves everyone unconditionally and loved lucifer in Heaven why does hell and Satan exist?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Cool trick

This is for Danny Kaye. I think you'll like it.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Ok, Odd hypothetical question that I have wanted to ask but knew that my site won’t get a lot of response. What if unity is to happen, what if It’s in the Bible that when we are at peace in the churches then it all happens? (Being careful not to say what I’m want to say) I wonder if I could actually turn this into a question that some might think on.

I asked this question on someone’s site

I’d love to hear your opinions

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


What’s with this thing?

I sat down to eat my lunch the other day and there it was looking right at me then I found it on my desk.

Why is this paper so mad at me?

I don’t have the time to try to figure it out.

Look I realize that some people feel that you should find out right away.

Here’s my week:

I’m going eight days without a day off.
I have laundry to do.
Dust the house
Clean the toilets
Cook the meals
It’s schutzhund time so the phone and e-mails are constant
I have a family
I have PTA
I am heading up a project that I said I wouldn’t do several times
I have to finish the paper work for a fundraiser that I an heading up

On the flip side:

I have a job I like
I have a new washer and dryer
I have . . .A. . .Stuff to dust
I love in door plumbing
I have a man who can’t cook but he can make a nice bird house
I get to talk to folks from all over the country and other countries.
I have a family
I am almost finished with PTA
I can’t spin this one, wait yes I can, The place where I have to pick up the memorial plaque isn’t far from work, and she was a very nice lady. It was my idea to honor her.
I came up with an idea to make money for the youth at church and it’s pretty darn good. Anyone want to not run to help? You get a t-shirt.

See now that’s better. Feel free to flip it here.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Eve and the drugs

I was talking with a male co-worker yesterday when childbirth came up and Tom C. (The Actor who knows nothing about women)
I said "Thank God for the drugs."

His response was "I don’t think it came from God, remember Adam and Eve?"

Genesis 3:16
16 To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Yes I do and I still thank God for the drugs. I felt the beginning of labor with my first one. They induced at midnight and by one I was ready to leave. Honestly, my husband was asleep and all was quiet, except for this woman breathing and stuff. I started to formulate a plan in my head of how to get out. I had laughed at the stories from other women saying that they told the nurse they were leaving. I don’t laugh any more. I was the only one in labor that night. I had the whole area to myself, my get away wouldn’t have gone unnoticed. I needed a good plan, only thing was, I was in pain and had stuff hooked to me so thinking was interrupted by breathing. Labor hurts a lot, It’s small pain the big pain and so on. The pain never stops. I told my co-worker slam your head over and over in the car door, it would feel better than labor. Back to the plan, as if a woman in labor could just walk past the nurses. I had the same nurse the whole time she was eager help me she’d notice if I strolled past her. The plan actually worked, it distracted me from the pain until the Grand One came, that’s right the dude with the drugs. I was going through transition when he put the needle in my back. I remember thinking I’m going to be paralyzed. I’ve heard stories. Once he open it up I was pain free and in love with the Grand One. The dude could lead women to a bunker to wait for a space ship with that kind of power. You wouldn’t want a bunch of women in labor in a bunker. You men reading this probably just cringed. (Sorry if you have nightmares)

God sent me drugs and a great nurse. She didn’t just take care of me she also took care of my family. She checked mom’s pressure. My mom was a bit nervous. She knew the moment when I started to loose it, she took my hand and looked at me then sternly but calmly said "Where’s your focal point? Breath that’s it you’ve got it." She almost delivered my son and after we held him she carried him to the nursery, not the father. We didn’t mind she was a big part of taking care of us. She was sent to us by God. The nurse, my doctors, the Grand One, and those drugs.

When I checked into the hospital with my second one I was ready for an easy labor and such because the first one went fast and as my doctor said, the second you go into labor come, call on the way because it could be faster. We don’t want to miss the window of opportunity for drugs. I chose to induce this time because I was huge and ready. I loved being pregnant it’s the most incredible feeling for me. I wasn’t gaining enough weight, a first for me. I was constantly watched by family when I ate and my doctor kept telling me to eat. I was huge. No joke. I looked like a VW was stuffed up my shirt. I felt as if I was carrying a small car. We checked in early watched CHIPS and waited for them to give me the drug that brings pain. They tried other forms first finally they broke my water to discover a complication. I was given my good drug by a man that must have been an A&P mechanic first because it felt like he was riveting my back, the drugs seemed to settle on my right side a lot more than my left so I was unable to move one side. I remember thinking wow this is good I’m feeling pretty darn good. My husband looked at me and smiled. "Good drugs?" His smile went away when the nurse came running in laid me back and started reviving me. Light-tunnel. Hello. My pressure was dropping. (This nurse was a neighbor and was wonderful.) I now had oxygen, IVs with cuffs strapped to them, tubes in places, and couldn’t move one side. I made a joke about being Robo Mom. They gave me the bad drug. The pump wasn’t working and the not so great one wasn’t rushing to help. I had a nurse change and this one was good just not the fun one I wanted. After a while the nurse started playing with the pump them left. I said to my husband as the pain level came up. "I think she turned the pump off." He responded with "She did.". "WHY! What did I do to her?" "The pump isn’t working right."

Ok again slam your mid regions in a car door over and over again then tell me how it feels.

I was told to call when I felt like pushing. For those who have seen in movies and heard stories about women refusing to push. . .. HUH!?

When she was born she was covered in goo, everyone was covered. The doctor held her upside down for a bit. I asked about her rating. It’s too early but she was an eight. Thank God I thought as they worked on her. I don’t remember holding her. I did because I remember the ick. She should have gone to NICU but she looked great. As my husband carried her to the nursery she stopped breathing. I wasn’t able to freak out because my pressure was still very low. My Aunt called to check on me. (I’ll post about her some day) I told her what was going on. She quickly hung up and called another Aunt in church. That aunt stood in church that Wednesday night and halted services, honestly she yelled for them to stop everything so that they could pray. You can’t stop a Southern Woman, COC or not. I could feel those prayers.

Needless to say, in what seemed to be forever for my family before she was able to breath on her own. My pressure came back up the next morning and I waited until everyone was gone and released the emotions of having a hard time, of missing my mom, and giving my father a granddaughter.

God took care of us. He showed us how cherished life is. AND he gave me good drugs, yep, even though they could have killed me I still appreciate them.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Pretty Girl

Shadow we miss you so.
It's Schutzhund time!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Silly Milly

Ok. . . I love to joke and play. I have s l o w l y learned that I need to filter what I say and write.

The other night at work I made a joke about being a stripper. I alluded to it by saying something about dancing and blinking lights. (I’ll spare the details. Not that I said anything vulgar, It was what I said and how I walked away that let one man to think I had been a stripper.

I don’t think the other thought it. Then again he wasn’t putting his young past against our old past lives.

Make a point!

Our conversation went like this:

When I walked back by the man said (We work together BTW) Are you a dancer? I laughed and said nope I use to two step in college with friends. Oh you said something about dancing and I was. . .( He looked embarrassed) No I was just kidding. He then told me of his past life of smoking, drinking, and strip bars. I said yes I was a smoker, drinker, and went to see the men strip myself.

He then told me that he is a Christian. I told him that I too was and that I tend to open my mouth without thinking. He told me how shocked he was by what people say. I’m seldom shocked. I was one of them.

"Wake up Milly and curb your mouth! People can hear you!" Was what I thought as I walked away. I have a friend who is like me and a few times we’ve had to call each other on it.

It’s very cool that this man, who really doesn’t know me, cared about me. I could see the concern in his eyes.

God bless him for loving me, a sister he barely knows.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


My it’s a grand things list.

The giggle from the six year old in the back seat when I ordered naked chicken.

Calling a long lost friend and not feeling lost for words.

An air kiss from a son who’s growing up.

The bluest of blue sky.

Puffy clouds.

65 degrees and breezy.

Someone saying I know you’re a Christian because your always happy when you’re here.

Being happy to be there.

Finding the last Tootsie Roll in the jar.

Opera and the song That Girl Is A Cowboy.

People who don’t really know you, yet still care.

God always being with you.

Please feel free to add some of yours. It's a feel'n good day!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Stop, Drop, & Open

A few nights ago my husband broke the silence in our bed, it was the after the kiss and such that we do every night that we land in the bed at the same time. We aren’t sluggers ( TMI) I roll my way and he rolls his. So he disturbs the list I was doing in my head about the next day. I imagine we all do that. I suddenly hear "I guess God is teaching us patience." I respond with "I suppose so." AAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Has been running through my head for a while now. I have this little panicked person in my head running about flailing it’s arms and screaming. I have to be calm because that’s my job.

The dryer went out leaving me to go to the laundry mat or hang the wet items around the house. I’m listening to the Darlins and watching Andy so that I can feel closer to the look of the house.

The doctor gave me worse case scenario. It’s not a life or death thing. The next doctor will not see me until July. Timing is better then anyway. I’ll wait.

My son is twelve. Need I say more? You know I will. Last night at dinner I said the dishwasher needs to be emptied. He said "If you pay me" AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! I looked at him and said I want you to hear me. I want to make this perfectly clear then I rambled on about school, my upbringing, camp, mission trips, we had an intermission, a puppet show, and my husband summed it all up. Bad timing the kid had a bad day and it took a while for him to open up to his dad.

We’ve had a need for rain. Everywhere except my back yard. I told them when the house was inspected it looked like a problem. No they said it’s normal. What’s that noise? We asked as we looked at each other. The sound of rushing water through the vents. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
That little person is running amuck in my head.

I’m going to stop pray and open the Bible. The first one was no help I’ll keep looking I assure the little person about to be in need of a paper bag. The second one was about marriage. Good breath you have someone else (he panics more than you) I reach for my mom’s old KJ God being with us see we have God. I’ll sit now the little person says.

I picked up the book that fell to the floor when I reached for mom’s Bible. I open it to the marked spot. These aren't what I might have found had I looked up house is a money pit and so on but they were sent and the little person in my head is taking a nap.

(My daughter just told me a roach can live three days with out it head on. See we can do it if they can . . .I can't sell it. Never mind )

Proverbs 12:25

25 An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Philippians 4:10-13

Thanks for Their Gifts 10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Just Wondering

A verse from a song posted on a blog has stuck in my head.

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church

Jesus would without a doubt be given the basic needs in most churches, a Bible, cloths, food, money, & a ride to the bus stop.

Now for the sake of argument, only to make us think.

We don’t recognize him, we don’t see who he is. Settle down! Remember, it’s for the sake of argument.

Would you listen to him?

Would you stop thumping the Bible and put away your arrogance?

Would you listen?

Let’s say we let him speak. He has been chosen to fill in for the minister.

Someone escorts him to the stage area. He isn’t dressed in the three piece suit with a tie that says W W I D? on it. He doesn’t have a woman with lots of make up and fake eye lashes with him. He looks like one of us.

The sound tech offer to wire him up. He turns all sound down. The sound man looks uneasy, he mumble as he walks away about being heard.

What about your power point? The computer persons asks. He laughs and looks at his finger. No thank you. I’m low tech today.

After several songs. He is introduced. He walks onto the stage and looks out at the faces in the crowd. What are the expressions?

Please my brothers and sisters move closer. The children move in. They have less doubt, they don’t have the ability to pull scripture out at will.
All of you please come, I bring good news. Most move to him. A few stay in their places. They have been in that seat for more than twenty years and no one can make them move.

He shields his eyes from the spot lights as he looks up. Please turn those off and join us. The crew joins gives in and starts to the steps. You also, he says to the camera man. A . . . I . . .Me? If I come we won’t have A CD, DVD, or a video. Yes please forget those things you only need our Father’s words.

People gather around to hear him.

Where are you sitting?

We all want to say, I was one of the first to walk to him. How could I not know my savior.

What’s your honest, in your heart, answer?

Would you listen and not hear?

Would you hang on his every word to learn or hang on his every word to find fault?
(After all you know the Bible you’ve read the books and you own a W W J D? Tie. The kids got it for you on Father’s Day last year.)

Does our arrogance get in our way of hearing Jesus?

Sunday, May 07, 2006


It’s interesting how people behave. Tonight a man yelled at me for no reason except that he wanted to be a big man. He looked like a jerk to all around him. I walked away smiling to find two men smiling at me, not just any smile, big smiles I knew that they had what I have. . .Jesus. We talked for a moment then I noticed one man was wearing a Promise Keepers Shirt we then talked about our churches both men knew my church and had been in it they even knew some that I know.

God grants us moments so that we don’t freak out and start yelling because someone offered to help them move through faster.

When a machine failed to dispense money and had to be opened the gentleman started to read the book that he had purchased He didn’t freak out he just read. How cool he stood waiting. I apologized he smiled and continued to read on.

Thank God for. . .


Thursday, May 04, 2006

teacher>noun a person who teaches in a school

I’m winding down my volunteer time at my daughter’s school. She will be at a new school next year. I’m sad that our time there is ending they have so many great teachers. I’ve been involved in that school for six years. Some of those ladies have reassured me when I cried because my son went to the next level, a whole new school. I don’t know his teachers. Grade school is so much easier they welcome you in. I feel as if I’m leaving my family.

Some of the teachers still boast about how my son taught them. He honestly taught them how to teach a method in math so that the other students could understand.

The teachers teaching my children at that school are Christians. In a public school. We have scriptures written on the floors under the carpet.

The people in that school have been a blessing to us.

As I was cleaning out some junk in my computer I found this letter that I had written for one of my son’s teachers for a grant.

When asked the definition of a teacher most will respond with the same as the dictionary.:one who teaches, that is not the definition of Ms*****. Her definition would read; Ms***** > a woman of great character, one who arrives early and stays late, she works tirelessly with the students, she gives individual attention to each student and their parents. She understands individualism and encourages them to enjoy being themselves.

Ms****'s day at school begins with lining up safety patrol, flag bearers, chess club, and the broadcast studio. She does these tasks with a smile and encouraging words to the students. She will not take the credit for her hard work because she fells that the credit should go to the others who help and to those students involved.

Her time in the classroom is spent exploring the world and beyond with her students. She believes there is no limit to learning. This isn’t a traditional classroom environment she allows the children to complete their thoughts, then she gives them more to think about. She is always open to experience new challenges and is ready to help them past the hurdles to succeed with the adventures of their minds. In a place of traditional learning where doors are closed to the students who’s abilities beckon beyond the curriculum she is able to open the doors and allow them to touch the world outside traditional learning. She is an ambassador, a voice for our children who are sometimes misunderstood because of the extrodanary way that they think and feel.
Ms***** understands them and seems to love each one for who they are.

After the last bell rings she doesn’t pack her belonging for home she begins to work again with the safety patrol, flag bearers, and chess club. She waits until every parent has asked all the questions they had and patiently has answered each one. Many times she has stayed late in order to help my child with a special project that has gotten him into accelerated math. She easily could have told him to catch her the next day, as many of us do in our busy lives, that’s not this unusual teacher.

She spends her day at school expanding the minds of her students who are in her classes and those who wander past her very open class room. You see last year she was moved to the commons area. Leaving her a teacher with out walls. She spent the summer decorating and adjusting so that when her students came back in the fall they would feel welcome. When the carpet was replaced she came in and wrote encouraging words on the bare floors. I have often walked in those places and smiled at the thoughts and love that she had taken the time to write. Time that I know she could have spent elsewhere.

I honestly believe that this teacher wakes every morning with the wonder of what new exploration and new discoveries are in store for her and her students. She enjoys watching them learn. I’ve watched her with the students, her smile and the way her eyes light up tells me how extrodanary she is. It is as if she too has discovered what those precious young people have discovered.

Monday, May 01, 2006

God Hears

My son was born with a skin condition, It’s a disease, I said it! It’s a disease. I hate that word it implies that you can brush up against him and catch it. You can’t.

It is heart breaking at times the best way for me to describe it as if you have poison ivy your entire life from birth to death always wanting to scratch ripping at your skin never feeling relief. My son would go to bed with clean sheets and wake with blood and scabs covering them.

People would look at his little body and whisper, point, and walk away. One mother actually with a discussed look on her face asked me in a very hateful manner as she snatch her child away "What is wrong with him?" I smiled, grabbed my strength, and calmly said "He has a skin condition. Thank you for removing your child from the toys he’s a bigger treat to my son, what with germs and all" She looked at me and walked away silently. I would have removed my child, not knowing what the other one had I never would have been so mean.

As time passed I grew use to the looks. My family didn’t. My mother was pushing the stroller at a mall the longer we walked the more upset she became until she just couldn’t take it any more. "How can you take them staring and talking about him like this?" I told her that while it is hard to have people doing that I was now use to it. My husband blew up at a woman who was working at a book store. She had pointed and whispered to the person next to her. He lost it I heard him yell at her and rushed to try to calm him. He walked out. I then turned to apologize. She made an excuse about how she was talking about something else with him. I knew she had lied. I said that’s fine I’m use to people judging him. I hit her with my words possibly harder than my husband, because she looked hit.

My son seemed to take it better than we did where people are concerned. In first grade his teacher told me that a boy told him that he didn’t want to play with him because of his skin. My son said he understood and might feel the same way himself. WOW . . .what a blessing this kid is.

We were told that he might grow out of by one doctor. The others said no. Your heart breaks when your children are in pain. Asthma was the next thing added to this. It goes hand-in- hand with it. We watch as he struggles to breath at times and feel blessed that it isn’t as bad as others.

Why am I posting this? Because of this:

Before my son started kindergarten his skin hit it’s worst. I was desperate for help. His doctors weren’t able to get it under control and his face was breaking out. His beautiful face. People would look at his face and tell me how pretty he was. He has dimples and he smiles with his eyes. I stepped up my research. I was given Dr. T. Berry Brazelton’s phone number. I called him for help. My parents were ready to fly us where ever we needed to go. Now for some who are thinking what’s the big deal? The flesh eating virus, scars, pain, lack of sleep, and tons of antibiotics to get rid of infections. The doctor, the one who’s book I read when they put me in bed while pregnant with him because of labor pains and a placenta problem when I was seven months along, the one who’s TV show was one that I watched, the one who sat next to the Clintons at an event, said to this mother, "What do you want me to do about it?" I was broken, that was it. "You don’t understand he is so bad." "I can’t help you." I was broken. My heart was broken.

I went to my knees then found myself on the floor. Flat down, arms out, face down, on the floor. I prayed for my son. I hadn’t felt that I should ask for help for him. I had pray sure I’m a parent, I hadn’t like this. I worked with children that seemed to be far worse than my son. I was so wrong and God showed me just how wrong I was. There I was stretched out on the floor praying for some help. That’s when I heard a voice so calmly so peacefully say call CMC and
Dr. M. I picked myself up and called DR. M. and made an appointment then CMC the woman who answered was at first a bit stoic she must have felt how broken I was because after saying we just can’t give recommendations.
(I picture her looking around as to be sure someone wasn’t listening) She gave me the name of who they use. This woman didn’t care if she had a televisions show or if a president and his wife invited her to the White House she doesn’t have a well known book on the shelf, she was just a loving person.

I typed up ALL the things that we had tried and went to this new doctor. He examined my son and gave him more to try. He looked me in the eyes and said if this doesn’t work I’ll put him in the hospital. Thank God it did. We went from doctor to doctor each time I would hand them the new treatments the others were recommending. I told all three, yes three, that egos were not to come in to the room. You will work together. Thank God they did.

After a few months of, at times, seeing two doctors in one week my son rebelled, who wouldn’t, I was ready to. I asked him to choose a dermatologist. He is now old enough to control his scratching most of the time and kids still say things, then again so do adults, so that won’t go away.

God has always been with us through these trial in our lives. We are worthy of His help we just need to stop running around and listen. We need to stop drop and pray. He just wants our faith in trying times. We are not in control, we can't be.