Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Happy

Thank goodness they didn't put the number of birthdays on it.
However, having firefighters share cake with me would be a nice gift.

Sock Monkey was born to be wild!

Miss Littles pumpkin.

Have a happy no matter what your family does.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Where has the time gone?

I decided I might want to let ya’ll know I’m still around.
Even though Sunset Boulevard is on I think I’ll still update.

Max my memoirs!

I’m not afraid to read it.

Saturday team Miss Littles ran The Tulsa Run Fun Run. Her school won $750.00 for having the most participants in their category. I missed running more than ever while I tried to find my running spirit from within. I think I can find my stride. I ran distance so it’s a bit slow compared to those who run to win. I run to find peace. I smiled at the man who greats our day at work with a rant of scriptures, he was ranting as I pasted him on the street. Some places most likely would run this man out but he seems to fit in with the ambiance, besides all he wants is coffee and a moment to quote scripture from that well worn Bible.

Sunday I woke with a head banger. Bummer I had things to do. I made it to work but not church. We had a competition at another store. Our store lost. I could think and they put things in other departments. No worries it was still fun to be there.

I’m still watching the sun come up every morning. It’s been turquoise and orange. How can you not see God in the morning.

I’m working on a spider costume for Miss Littles step into the book. She’s Charlotte. Tomorrow is the fall fest at church. Thursday is the day to get the boy ready for the weekend. Halloween is my birthday so it’s treating and relaxing with Miss Littles, my sister, and a friend.

It seems as if so many of us are going through some trials in our lives. We need to remember that God is with us always. If you’ve made a mistake fall to your knees in forgiveness Jesus died for you. You’re forgiven.

God loves us. He sent his Son to save us, so rejoice!

I'm ready for my close up

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hear Him

I’ve read a few blogs around these parts in the last few months with the topic of hearing and not hearing God. Some have and no longer and some don’t and can’t be sure that they ever did. You know that got me thinking as things like this do. I spent some time at work pondering about hearing Him speak.

How are we to hear the voice of God?

In the old school testament God was in our faces. Well not our faces but those who came way back before us.

His voice was heard, and not only that He was live and in person. He came looking for Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.

God sent burning bushes and parted the sea.

I still want to know if while you were walking between those two walls of ocean could you have reached out and grabbed fish. Think about that image! Walls of water. . you are on the ocean bed walking. I want to know what they gave witness to. It will always be in my head till I die and when I’m dead I won’t ask because I will be with Jesus and I think in awe of Him I’ll fall to my knees. I know that some of you have me pegged for dancing. Hmmm I have a song now going through my head.

Back to the VOICE OF GOD!!!

Do you think it’s this big booming voice?

It could be.

Is the soft and gentle voice?


Now I think I need a disclaimer hear. I am in no way saying that you are loved less or aren’t getting it right if you can’t hear it.

I believe that God speaks to me in a various ways.

I hear whispers

I get yelled at

I get talked to

I also think that He uses others and other things to speak for Him.

He created us and know how we are wired. This is something I throw my hands up about at times. Why aren’t ya’ll wired to think like I do? Why do you think it’s ok to sit in the middle of the WalMart parking lot (know as the portal to hell) waiting for the lady with a full cart, who has just arrived at her vehicle to search her purse for her keys. Then open the trunk and slowly start removing her items from her cart. You see me behind you and you know it was me that you insisted on being in front of so that you could have that spot. I don’t want the spot I just want to park so that I can run into the store for stuff for a Step Into The Book Costume. THIS IS WHY I DON"T SHOP AT WALMART! Ok that and the way they do business. Sorry I needed to vent.

I only know how I hear God. I I know that when I was in a church where everyone was talking in tongues I heard "Not this church, this isn’t for you." The people were super nice and my ex roommate made it seem to be great. She looked happy and I felt happy when I wasn’t confused about what was going on and what I was suppose to be doing.

I head the voice tell me to go the other way when I was driving Mary, my daughter, and her daughter to a leather work shop down town. I shook that voice off, after all I knew better. As I was driving through the neighborhood a truck tailed me. Now when you insist on being on my bumper I am not at all motivated to go faster. God knows how I worry that a child will run out into the road so I drive neighborhoods slowly anyway add a truck tail and I move at a snails pace. I also take my time pulling out. So I moved slower and took my time pulling onto 41st .The light was green and the streak was silver and the screams were Mary’s and my bumper ripped off red blazer. I slammed on the breaks sending all of us forward. Thank God for safety belts. Had I driven a bit faster he would have T-Boned us. The man driving the car didn’t stop for a while. He was going very fast when he topped the little hill and sped through the intersection and ripped my bumper off. One of our neighbors is a cop. He was off duty and came running to check on us. The cop who responded went to my church. I was surrounded by men to help me. had I listened to that Voice my bumper would have been in tact. Had God not sent a truck to slow me I would have been morning the death of my friend Mary and her daughter and possibly my daughter. God wasn’t ready for any of us.

When my marriage began to fall apart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe God whispered to me. I heard Him. He gave me strength to make the calls that I needed to make. He continues to whisper to me. I have moments but I know that I am doing the right thing. I need to do this.

When we have moments of weakness who is it that stops us from picking up that phone. . .opening that bottle. . .taking that pill...slashing our skin. . . looking at wickedness. . .eating those cookies. . .have an affair. . . tuning out life. . .Who stops us?

Who will take us back when we stray?

Who is it that whispers in the dark of the night . . .It is done and I forgive you.

Most morning I stand in the doorway drinking in the color of morning and take a breath of cool air Who boldly shows me His new day?

A child’s drawing speaks to me of wonderment and love. I take in the rustic art wondering what they were thinking when a hair was painted purple and shapes out of proportion. A child need not say a thing to me about the work it speaks for itself. God’s beauty speaks to me.

I remember holding my new born son and looking at the moon one night . It was so big and bright that I lit the room. I thought of Mary giving up her son. How my heart ached for her. I whispered God I couldn’t do it. He said you don’t have to I did it for you and that baby.

Is it that God is silent?

Do you think that he would slip back to see how we can manage on our own. Is He a father that would let go of the bicycle? What then if we fall? We keep trying but we keep falling. Where are you Father? Why aren’t You helping why are You silent?

Is that it? Is it a silence a defining suffering fearful silence?

We want to put the blame somewhere. Is it God? Is it Jesus? Is it you? Is it me? Can I be so panic stricken that I would fail to hear Him?

I have no words to give comfort. I have never felt that fear.

He speaks boldly to me with a whisper. He yells at me when I can’t listen.

I may be listening to my own crazy mind. I may not be hearing Him. But I think I hear Him in the sunrise. I think I hear Him in the man who looks for me at work and tells me "Now I’m having a good day." when he sees me. I think I hear Him in my children. I think I hear Him in the singing birds. I know I heard Him the day I was laying on the dock on a cool fall day. I heard Him that day in the young people laughing and talking.

I’ve asked many things of God and been thankful of the no answers.
He know what I need and when I need it better, He is after all my Father.

I pray that you will hear Him soon.

I know that He hears you.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


Today after lunch the kids and I strolled through a pet shop. They are in need of a something to take care of or so they say. We looked at several little hopping and happy fluffy things one liked looking at Miss Littles. We checked out the fish and one thought she was something to check out. We talked about the care of all of these creatures. The fish. . . I suggested they might as well live near the toilet because that would be where they’d end up.

Now if you know me you know I love birds. Free and out flying free. I’m not sure why I love them so and I have no idea of why I hate the idea of caging them. Still I do and I’ll just bet you can see it coming. She looked the birds over and one cockatiel came up to the glass to see her. She moved to the other side and waved him over and he made his way around all the stuff to see her. I think had we stayed any longer I’d have purchased the little one.
My child has a gift for animals.

I’ve seen it before she once sat in a friend’s yard and called all the cats to her.

I may have a zoo by this time next year.

Thank goodness that bird was over my budget.

My son wants bird feeders at the apartment because he too loves them.

No rodents allowed. Not my rule the apartment folks.

Yep a zoo.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

This is the day

One of the coolest things about the area that I work in is that I can watch the sun risings. This morning dawn brought a turquoise and orange sky. I’m a sun rise nerd so I had competition tell as many people as I could about the beauty that God granted us with. I stood in the door way holding the automatic doors open and took in a deep breath of the autumn cool air thinking "This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice." I say this most mornings.

It’s neat that several of my customers are Christians, they ask for prayers and offer them.
It’s been a long week today is my Friday. Sunday we had a competition among those in my department. I was surprised at the outcome. I took first place! I get to go to the next level and compete against others from other stores. I hope I don’t choke my boss seems to really want us to win. I joked about honing my skills when asked why I was in commercial today. I really don’t care that much about winning but I did let them know how good I am at what I do with the win. I was told that I could train in any department that I wanted. I know that I could move onto that floor in a heartbeat.

Back to the sun.
the sun coming up means that life starts new for me. All of yesterday is gone to memory and now I have a fresh start. I love that. I need that. I can visit my past but never live in it. I can live in the new day.

Tomorrow I’ll start a new day with new surprises and more blessings from God. I'll take the time to walk with Jesus and I'll whisper to myself This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Demons in the church

After a couple of discussions with spouses of those in the ministry I started thinking.

Demons are in the church.

I wonder if we could see them how many are circling the church. I thought about how many sit within.

One spouse is the wife of my minister. I want to say this so that you folks who think nothing of trashing the man or women who speak God’s words to you hear this. They are human and they have feelings! They have wives husbands and children. You are the people who brought them here you are the ones who they feel in love with and you are the ones who are hurting them the most.

I gave this some thought as I showered I would never pray that my child go int the ministry. Especially youth ministry. The devil hates youth ministry. He works hard to break it where ever he can and he uses parents. We parents have no problem listening to his hissing how wrong those who love and guide our children are. We have to stand hard against his vile nature.

My son has a wonderful heart for God and His children and when he said that he thought of going in youth ministry I prayed for guidance. He no longer speaks of it.

What a hurt it is not to trust those you love. What a hurt it is to feel so alone. The spouses don’t feel that they can trust anyone in the church. How could they? after all they’ve been slammed also. They have been talked about because their children ran around yelling yesterday. Mine did they day before and his were in the parking lot running around the cars. Still she’s a minister’s wife and she needs to keep them in place. I’ve read those letters. I’ve apologized for words that I had nothing to do with but still felt that the hurt needed to know how much I hated it.

Yes I do believe that demons attach to us and we walk them into the church proudly. We need to rid ourselves of them. We need to stand in font of the mirror and ask God to show us the truth.

No this mother will never pray that her children will go int the ministry.