Monday, November 21, 2011

Got your coffee?

Well then let’s talk about how I eat my words . . . a lot.

Example being

I have a small event coming up and I noticed that one of the mean girls in on the invite list. By mean I say’n that she will most likely bring up some pain that a former friend is going through and even though this lady has shut the door on our friendship (due to the pain that she is in right now and doesn’t want anyone except close friends with her) I still care for her and in no way want to discuss what is going on in her life. I want to lift her up in prayer not hear her being trashed. I also have ill feelings towards this person, now I know that I’m suppose to tell her and I did. I sent her an email telling her just how I felt about her and she responded with a huh? It must be the other woman not me. She left my church with a you don’t like me attitude and a slam of the door. I waved a fond farewell and an I wish you well in life thought. Her husband ran for office and lost much to our relief. She is a therapist and trashes her patients to others. I have a list, a long list of her offences to me. Okay I know that I should let it all go, I shouldn’t even care at all but seeing her name brought it back to me.

So how am I eating those words?

Today I told a coworker that she needed to let it go and give it to God over issues with another coworker. I told her to take those nuggets of grace and hold on to them. These words taste icky but hold true. I’m to chew on the darn nuggets of grace and like it. Aren’t I?

My son has something to do that evening so I don’t know if I can even go, we’ll see.

And so ya’ll know I’d try to talk to her about it but she won’t understand, trust me.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

We stuff our lives in the corners of the house only to excavate them to discover how you once lived.

Tonight I decided to go through a box that was labeled office. I still haven’t completely gone through all the stuff from the divorce, when I thought that we were going to have to move my sister went into a frenzy of packing. Needless to say I was stunned by all of the events going on… yes it was me who filed for divorce but I had lots of ground to do so. Life became about the divorce. Not a quickie . . . no. . . . he wanted to fight so we fought. The kids and I went to Disney World. My son fell and broke his hip, I had knee surgery, we healed and went on vacation to Alaska my sister was diagnosed with Alveolar soft part sarcoma. Then after a year lost the battle. Now I’m going through boxes of our lives.

Life has been a journey . . . as it always is . . . if you’re live’n it right

In this box are papers of a past life. Hotel room keys from that trip to Texas that made it clear to me.

Pictures drawn from Miss Littles hands... I found the purple me that I used for my picture in this blog. It felt like an old friend’s picture. I found writings from Codepoke because sometimes I didn’t have time to read it on the computer. Get well cards and I’m sorry for your loss. I had a birthday card from a high school friend, we still keep in touch. A copy of email addresses one friend now dead. Many lost to life’s new journeys

A lot of stuff that should have been tossed a long time ago.

We build these lives and little by little they began to change.

I know you’re looking at the things I’ve written and thinking HEY! They change as fast as your airbag comes at you. Yes they do that also. But the things that your day to day life misses is that the kids are growing up. They are moving forward. I’m happy for them. My son is a senior this year. Wow my little boy is turning into a man and I’m a bit sad but jumping for joy for him. Miss Littles is working on that grown up stuff but having a struggle with it. She’s still a bright spot in our lives, even when I’m listening to the new drama in her life.

I found my son’s press pass, a card that she made, and his medal from the Duke Talent search for outstanding ACT scores. A photo of my niece, yes she’s named after me. Life moving past and a lot of stuff to toss out.

It’s our world in a box with about 10 more to go.


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Baby Bird.

I love being off on Sundays.
I still get up early because I have to be at church.

This morning started of okay I did what I always do and so on, only as I was pulling out of my driveway I spotted a baby bird on my walkway. Poor little thing. It's rather far from it's home, I don't have any trees in the front yard. We pulled away hoping that the momma would take care of the little squawker.

After church the boy and I met my dad for lunch. It was nice to spent time with The Dad and seems to be doing well.

I expected to find the little lost bird dead when I pulled into the garage. I was wrong that little one is a trooper. It was clearly upset and very hungry. Still no mamma in sight. I waited to hear a distressed momma. I know if my babies were out of the nest I'd be squawking up a storm. No upset parent.

Animals are different from us. For what ever reason this bird has found it self in a predicament that is going to kill it.

I want to take the little one out of it misery but kept thinking what if I spot a mamma or daddy. I wanted to pick that bird up and take it in and take care of it. Baby birds need a lot of care and to be honest I can't do it.

So there outside is the strongest baby bird I have ever seen and I'm in here thinking of how God sees us as these baby birds with our mouths hanging open begging for more and more and more not at all worried about the sin that is lurking around the corner ready to gobble us up. The difference is that I am not God and just can't save this baby bird. the blessing is that God can save our ugly-cute squawking selves.

Thank you God for saving us.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

I realize that the Church of Christ is known for how the men treat the woman but honestly!

Okay so I go to a Church of Christ and I know the rules that many men seem to think that we need to live by but I don’t think that I can, in fact I know that I can’t, Bill didn’t raise his daughter to keep her opinions to herself. In fact I’ve seen to the glint in his eyes when I give my opinion very strongly. Now that’s the very thing that gets me in trouble. I have a brain and a voice and I use them.

I’ve never spotted a place in the bible where it said woman keep you opinions to yourself like the old way CofC s and CofCers think. Woman have voices and rights men. That way of thinking got me yelled at shortly before an event was about to start. The odd thing is that I didn’t yell nor did I demand I asked where some things were and got yelled at. That shocked me because I honestly just asked and was told that he didn’t know where it was. My response was sharp because I had been yelled at the whole time I was on the phone then to my surprise I was yelled at in person. I tried to defuse the situation by asking him to stop and do a sit down with another man. He refused and kept yelling. I asked him to please act professionally because people could hear and he told me that only my daughter could hear. Ummm lets back up here my child was not only shocked that he yelled at me over the phone but that he got in my face in front of her right before and event. I did speak to one of the other members of the team and told her that any time that I’ve spoken to him about any issue he has walked away. She let me know that he does the same thing to her and gives him very little respect.

Ah ha! It’s about women.

Putting that fact that he isn’t the right person for the job and that he should do things differently he still has had some home runs. I’ve never failed to speak about the hits. And I’ve never failed to speak about the misses where the ministry I work for is concerned. I got from his yelling that others have told him when I’ve spoken out. I said that yes I have spoken about being frustrated about damage to things. I won’t repeat what he said because it was as shocking as stupid. I felt set up that night from the get go and will be on guard from now on. I now know where the trust is. That is also shocking because I thought I could trust the man that I can now see that I can’t. Plus He needs to not be in it so that it’s a set up for the way things went the other night. He wasn’t asked to be in and should keep his mouth shut in front of guest also. It’s a hot spot to me to do that in front of the guest that is about to speak.

Now how are things? They are fine, they were fine before, and they will be fine again. I now know that he feels that walking away and not listening to what us ladies have to say is because he’s old CofC.

Most of all I find it hard at times to be treated like a bitch for speaking when the men are treated like they have the rights. I do sometimes wonder how long I can stay with a church like that.

Don’t get me wrong this church that I go to is making strides where women are concerned but they have a long way baby. Do I think that every man will see us women as equals? NOPE! NO WAY! Some of you dudes will always be the jerks that you are. But that’s okay because bless your hearts God loves you.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

God, He rolls like that for us gals (My begining)

How cool!

He appeared 12 times and the first time the women saw Him.
Not that I think us women need to push our power and I haven't made a cardboard sign so that I can march on Washington as an equal to men, I just think it's cool that the ladies were first. We did a whole bunch of stuff in the bible. I think you should read it. It's really cool.

Matthew 28:1-10 NIV

Matthew 28
Jesus Has Risen
1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Monday, April 04, 2011

Hello out there

Change is . . . good. .. .change is good.
So this here blog is going more public.

I want to say that I cleaned up a few things. I also let a few things stay. Look this here blog reflects how I felt and see and saw the world around me as I see fit. I have typos and use grammar like an angry lemur with a baby seal. That’s right I make up my own rules.

What I’ve always wanted to convey is that you are welcome here. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and talk to me.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Blizzard of 2011 home because I am His favorite

Thank God I’m not working today or tomorrow.
Honestly I thank God.

One of the dear-to-my heart ladies that I am blessed to work with pointed out that we were both off for two days while it snowed and it was because God made it happen. I can’t argue with that, not that I would ever argue with this lady. She tell me she is God's favorite Child.

This wonderful woman is a prayer warrior and a bright light in our lives. I wish I could grow up to be like her.

One of the books that I’m currently reading had a great line in it and I wish that I could find it to quote properly. It’s basically this- the woman in the book wondered when she would be as mature as the boy in the story.

I too wonder that for myself when I will grow up enough to be a child of God.
The lady I spoke of from work tells me that she is God's favorite child. She is, God has protected her from spousal abuse, death of those she loves, and other trials. God has protected her. She's a child of God. By the way she will tell you that you are too.

When my son broke his hip and I shared my worries about the ball dying she said It’s not going to happen and we will not give it thought .God won’t let it happen and she prayed for him. Now I have to tell you that I’m the mom and I gave it thought, not that I’m not full of faith I’m mom and I had to prepare.

I just wonder though when will I grow up enough to be a child of God?
When will I be ready to stand faithfully and tell people that I am God's favorite child.
Are you ready to claim it?