Saturday, October 18, 2008

Hear Him

I’ve read a few blogs around these parts in the last few months with the topic of hearing and not hearing God. Some have and no longer and some don’t and can’t be sure that they ever did. You know that got me thinking as things like this do. I spent some time at work pondering about hearing Him speak.


How are we to hear the voice of God?

In the old school testament God was in our faces. Well not our faces but those who came way back before us.

His voice was heard, and not only that He was live and in person. He came looking for Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.

God sent burning bushes and parted the sea.

I still want to know if while you were walking between those two walls of ocean could you have reached out and grabbed fish. Think about that image! Walls of water. . you are on the ocean bed walking. I want to know what they gave witness to. It will always be in my head till I die and when I’m dead I won’t ask because I will be with Jesus and I think in awe of Him I’ll fall to my knees. I know that some of you have me pegged for dancing. Hmmm I have a song now going through my head.

Back to the VOICE OF GOD!!!

Do you think it’s this big booming voice?

It could be.

Is the soft and gentle voice?

Perhaps.


Now I think I need a disclaimer hear. I am in no way saying that you are loved less or aren’t getting it right if you can’t hear it.

I believe that God speaks to me in a various ways.

I hear whispers

I get yelled at

I get talked to

I also think that He uses others and other things to speak for Him.

He created us and know how we are wired. This is something I throw my hands up about at times. Why aren’t ya’ll wired to think like I do? Why do you think it’s ok to sit in the middle of the WalMart parking lot (know as the portal to hell) waiting for the lady with a full cart, who has just arrived at her vehicle to search her purse for her keys. Then open the trunk and slowly start removing her items from her cart. You see me behind you and you know it was me that you insisted on being in front of so that you could have that spot. I don’t want the spot I just want to park so that I can run into the store for stuff for a Step Into The Book Costume. THIS IS WHY I DON"T SHOP AT WALMART! Ok that and the way they do business. Sorry I needed to vent.

I only know how I hear God. I I know that when I was in a church where everyone was talking in tongues I heard "Not this church, this isn’t for you." The people were super nice and my ex roommate made it seem to be great. She looked happy and I felt happy when I wasn’t confused about what was going on and what I was suppose to be doing.

I head the voice tell me to go the other way when I was driving Mary, my daughter, and her daughter to a leather work shop down town. I shook that voice off, after all I knew better. As I was driving through the neighborhood a truck tailed me. Now when you insist on being on my bumper I am not at all motivated to go faster. God knows how I worry that a child will run out into the road so I drive neighborhoods slowly anyway add a truck tail and I move at a snails pace. I also take my time pulling out. So I moved slower and took my time pulling onto 41st .The light was green and the streak was silver and the screams were Mary’s and my bumper ripped off red blazer. I slammed on the breaks sending all of us forward. Thank God for safety belts. Had I driven a bit faster he would have T-Boned us. The man driving the car didn’t stop for a while. He was going very fast when he topped the little hill and sped through the intersection and ripped my bumper off. One of our neighbors is a cop. He was off duty and came running to check on us. The cop who responded went to my church. I was surrounded by men to help me. had I listened to that Voice my bumper would have been in tact. Had God not sent a truck to slow me I would have been morning the death of my friend Mary and her daughter and possibly my daughter. God wasn’t ready for any of us.

When my marriage began to fall apart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe God whispered to me. I heard Him. He gave me strength to make the calls that I needed to make. He continues to whisper to me. I have moments but I know that I am doing the right thing. I need to do this.

When we have moments of weakness who is it that stops us from picking up that phone. . .opening that bottle. . .taking that pill...slashing our skin. . . looking at wickedness. . .eating those cookies. . .have an affair. . . tuning out life. . .Who stops us?

Who will take us back when we stray?

Who is it that whispers in the dark of the night . . .It is done and I forgive you.

Most morning I stand in the doorway drinking in the color of morning and take a breath of cool air Who boldly shows me His new day?

A child’s drawing speaks to me of wonderment and love. I take in the rustic art wondering what they were thinking when a hair was painted purple and shapes out of proportion. A child need not say a thing to me about the work it speaks for itself. God’s beauty speaks to me.

I remember holding my new born son and looking at the moon one night . It was so big and bright that I lit the room. I thought of Mary giving up her son. How my heart ached for her. I whispered God I couldn’t do it. He said you don’t have to I did it for you and that baby.

Is it that God is silent?

Do you think that he would slip back to see how we can manage on our own. Is He a father that would let go of the bicycle? What then if we fall? We keep trying but we keep falling. Where are you Father? Why aren’t You helping why are You silent?

Is that it? Is it a silence a defining suffering fearful silence?

We want to put the blame somewhere. Is it God? Is it Jesus? Is it you? Is it me? Can I be so panic stricken that I would fail to hear Him?

I have no words to give comfort. I have never felt that fear.

He speaks boldly to me with a whisper. He yells at me when I can’t listen.

I may be listening to my own crazy mind. I may not be hearing Him. But I think I hear Him in the sunrise. I think I hear Him in the man who looks for me at work and tells me "Now I’m having a good day." when he sees me. I think I hear Him in my children. I think I hear Him in the singing birds. I know I heard Him the day I was laying on the dock on a cool fall day. I heard Him that day in the young people laughing and talking.

I’ve asked many things of God and been thankful of the no answers.
He know what I need and when I need it better, He is after all my Father.


I pray that you will hear Him soon.

I know that He hears you.

11 comments:

Robert said...

this was wonderful milly!!! I can think to so many of the ways you mentioned when I have heard Him as well, and many times not paid enough attention. So enjoy the way you reveal your heart so directly milly i am so glad i met you via the blog universe you do encouragfe,challenge and inspire.

laymond said...

you are right some of us don't get yelled at by god as much as others, why because we don't need it as much as one who would grab God's fish while walking through the red sea on the way to the promised land :)

karen said...

laymond, lol! Maybe that's why I get yelled at. . .a lot!

laymond said...

Karen, have you been fishing out of season too, or at least thinking about it as Milly has :)

karen said...

LOL, Laymond, wherever my Lord is..I'll try to hold onto everything I can!

Missy said...

Milly, you're right. I've heard it all, too. And I think it's clearer than I'd like to admit sometimes which is my voice and which is His.

Karen, what Milly describes, reaching for the fish - brought that painting you did to mind. You know the one, don't you? Cool.

karen said...

missy, you're right! :)

Milly said...

Robert,
I’m glad that I met you via blog also. You’re a sweet man.

Laymond,
Do you think I’d need a smack for grabbing dinner?

No season, it’s all good for fishing year round. You just knock the ice off the line and real um in.

Missy,
That’s just it. Who’s voice is it? Where is God and where am I?

Karen,
Some of us need a bit more attention. ;-} I know you hear Him

Painting! Have we seen this painting?

Missy said...

Milly, this is the one I was talking about. (Hope you don't mind the link, K)

karen said...

I don't mind...I figured dat was the one. I see it, too! Thanks for the link.

Kansas Bob said...

This is one of the best posts that I have ever read anywhere Milly. You broke me when you wrote:

"When my marriage began to fall apart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe God whispered to me. I heard Him. He gave me strength to make the calls that I needed to make. He continues to whisper to me."

At my lowest He has been the closest.. when I hurt He comforted me.. when I wasn't ready He spoke to me and caused me to hope again.

The hardest part in hearing Him is being connected to that part of us where He lives.. He doesn't speak from without.. He speaks from within.