Immeasurable God

As I stood at work looking out into the vastness of hardware and home improvement I thought about how I see God and God sees me. When I was a child God was big, he was a huge immeasurable being that I loved and was told that He loved me but He seemed too big to reach yet always with me, it’s hard to explain I suppose. It’s just that I wasn’t really raised in a church going home after fifth grade and I had a huge amount of fears as a small child. Honestly a huge amount. I had more panic attacks as a child then as an adult. God was enormous and I was part afraid, curious, and very confused. He was always with me He could always see me. Even when I’m doing stuff God could see me. The sixties and seventies were a time of Hell fire and brim stone sermons. God was going to smote us if we weren’t respecting Him, following Him, if we doubted we were dead. It was frightening for me as a child. But still I loved Him because in the cracks He showed me Himself.

As an adult I see God differently and still the same. He is vast and in my brain I find confusion at times. God can hear me . . . He can hear me. He keeps me in His pocket for safe keeping like a prized possession . . . along with all of you. To really grasp this I think of where I work most of the time. I’m watching four screens, four or more people, four computers, the area around me, a walkie-talkie seems to be chattering most of the time, the phone ringing, those who are stopping by for information, and most of the time I have a bit of paperwork to do while all of this is going on. I love it! I have those folks who know me and give hugs, jokes, and blessings. I get yelled at cussed at and seem to be the one who has made their day a moment in hell. I do this rush for only a few short hours a day clock out and get into my car, my sanctuary, a place to pray and find peace. I have trouble keeping up with people and the demands at times and I’m good at it. God is the Supreme Being the one who invented all of us yammering people and He has absolutely no problem listening to us. I doubt that God says “You know it was such a hard day at earth I think I’ll take a long bath and watch a movie tonight.” He’s God. He listens to us children as a patient parent listens to an eight year old tells you about her day.


God sent Jesus here for us we see that He can be a touchable God. Jesus showed us love and kindness He showed us a loving God. We needed that and He knew that we did, would, and will.

God has given me valuable beings to talk to they have listened and prayed for me but I see that I have worn at least one out. I understand that not everyone can listen like God can.

These days I think that I’ve made God smaller I think that I need for Him to be smaller. I need to feel Him next to me. I need to hold His hand to my heart. I need Him to be the one to lean on.