Friday, March 17, 2006

BIG vs SMALL


. . . and yet He chooses to paint our world.


It could be that you’ve invited your friends or folks you don’t actually know to your home. You start the grill, toss a flat bread on it and hold a Sunday service in your back yard. Grape juice and grilled bread before dinner. Let’s take the time to celebrate Jesus giving His life for us. Children are running about giggling and swinging. (Sounds that Heaven hears) Someone quiets them with a story about Miriam. It’s good to have someone who can keep the attention of the children one parent says. She wanted to go to New York and be a stage actress at one time. God chose differently, Her husband says with a smile as he watches her lean in and say "Mother he is so beautiful surely He won’t let him die"
"Well know" someone says "shall we get started? What will we talk about tonight?"
"I honestly don’t care I’ve had such a long week." One guy says.
"It’s Sunday, Monday will start us over" someone teases.
Bob interrupts, one of the neighbors needs some help this week with her sink, I was thinking that we might check to be sure she’s set for the summer. Several men agree to help. It’s good that Bob and his family were able to keep the relationships that they had with some of the other members of the church that they left. They sadly lost some who just didn’t understand why they went. Milly and her husband come when they can, the children go to their grandfather’s on Sundays, her husband is always willing to roll up his sleeves and help with the handy man work and talk about God, he’s new to the word being raised in a C church. Greg and his family joyfully join the group, she can cook and he can talk. And so on . . .

Amy sits quietly wondering if her jell-O salad was good, will they like it? I should find a bigger church this isn’t for me. How do I stop coming? I’ll be working at the store and Bob will come bouncing in with that smile, it’s a great one, it’s the reason I said yes , He’ll come in and ask and I’ll say I . . . what can I say? I’ll tell him I have stuff going on. I’ll lie about going to a church. There’s my ticket to he**. No. I’ll just say I was looking for something different. I was raised COC on my mom’s side and SG on my dad’s and my ex was CC. Man, I don’t even know where to start looking. I want a pew and a song book and I want to walk in and sit for a while alone. I want to soak it in and decide. No, hear God’s word.
Bob had, had it with the big corporate churches they had meeting about the meetings they split hairs over and over again. He was as involved as you could be, he devoted a large amount of time to that place only to have his ideas shot down. I passed the minister in the hall, did he stop to speak to me? No. Why? Could be because I’m one of the eight hundred people he doesn’t know. What are my kids learning? Where are my kids? Every Sunday my wife kisses me goodbye and goes to her class, it sounds interesting a study of the Christian woman’s self-esteem. She escorts the youngest to her room and the oldest ran away to class the moment we sort of stopped the car. I hate going over to that hallway the music is loud and the smells are odd and to be honest some of the kids look like junkies. I know I sound like a bad person saying that but you’d agree, I’m sure. I spoke to Milly about that side of the building she smiled and said "Where do you need to be if you want change?" At home spending time with my family is what I wanted to say to her. I work a lot I’m gone some nights and my son has grown up way too fast at times and not fast enough others. I guess I need to be involved except that I also have to be in a meeting about something someone said so I can’t be in that loud mess. Bob sat listening to what was said and how to stop the gossip and drifted off into thought HOME . . . HOME . . . HOME. I want to sit with people and have adult conversations, I want to say what I feel when I need to say it and have responses back. I don’t even care if they agree with me in fact sometimes, I’m wrong. (Don’t tell the wife and kids) I want to hear God’s word!
I have over and over again heard the argument about the size of the church building. I’ve never felt that it mattered. Large or small He knows it all.
I attend a rather large church when the a capella singing is going on my heart feels full. When I hear our minister weave the story I hear His word. I have relationships with several families. No, I don’t attend small groups. I don’t have the time. Okay I have it. It’s just that it would be one more thing to go to. Monday-meeting, Tuesday-swim, Wednesday-church, and so on . . .
I also felt His word sitting in my apartment with my friends reading the Bible and talking about Him.
We all MUST find our way and place.
If it’s grilling and chilling with our neighbors and the girl from the hardware store or sitting in the pew next to her holding a song book it pleases God.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Remember God, sing any song of/for him, your all bad feelings and emotions will just go away.

Listen to some of his songs over here