Thursday, November 09, 2006

I haven’t a clue as to what to do

My daughter can’t shut up. Spirited yes but she needs to learn how to control herself. I love that she bright and full of joy but she has to shut up.

She comes home almost every day with yellow. It’s a scale of goodness and green is best. Her teacher seems to be out of ideas because she asking for help. I’ve tried taking privileges away, I’ve put toys on the refrigerator, I even told her, after going to a craft show where it seemed as if everyone had beads, that we could bead if she can stay on green. Nothing has helped and today was my last straw, yep I did it. I hate having to, I’m not for it or am I the best at it. I end up feeling guilty. My mom wasn’t good at it and I don’t remember my dad ever doing it to me.
So here I am and she is in her room, most likely asleep now.

On the bright side of my day my son is joining DF-Y he’s excited to be a part of the Drug Free Youth and that makes me feel very proud of him. He was also in a hang with mom mood when he got home, that was cool we talked for awhile before I had to leave for my chatter box.

Help me parents were your kids talkers?

How do I stop her from disrupting the class yet hold on to who she is?

(We don't say shut up in our home)


codepoke said...

I read this at lunch, and didn't have any answer. I had to check back, though, to see whether you had any takers. :-) I'm not surprised you don't!

What a quandry! I'm sorry.

I bet everything she says and does to get "yellow" in class is darling, too.

What a delightful problem to have to suffer.

It's not really an option, I'm sure, but one sure-fire solution is to home-school. The need to conform suddenly evaporates. Miss Littles can just be her spirited self, and there's no harm to the mechanized brigade of public herding - I mean education.

Another thought I have is to make the situation very positive for her to be quiet. I'm sure she thinks of her "sharing" as wonderful for everyone. Getting "yellow" doesn't seem to bother her much, but that's because it's negative, and she is not.

Instead, maybe you can show her the other kids who cannot concentrate when she is sharing her happiness. Maybe she could connect that she can help the weak around her, by being quiet so they can learn the cool stuff she understands so easily.

Mostly, though, I hope you don't care much what her teachers and the other parents think. That kind of gregariousness is too precious to let a little school disorder stand in its way. Discipline and guidance are excellent, but to break such a beautiful spirit would be a wrong. I'm sure she will come out of it on her own in time.

I bet you're doing everything right, but I wanted to say something, just to say I care.

May the Lord bless you both!

Milly said...


Home schooling is not an option for me. I know my limits. I have some wonderful home school friends and God bless them. We chose this neighborhood because of that school.

I need to some how convey how important it is to respect those around you.

We are looking at speaking with the teacher to see if it happens about the same time every day. It could be that something really excites her or if it’s a blood sugar issue. She’s an eater, constantly looking for something to munch on. We’ll see.

Thanks for the kind words.

Milly said...

. . .And she good at playing men. I see she was working you.;-} She had my first crush wrapped around her little finger at our fish fry.

Karen said...

Well, yep. . .I had a talker. Still do. My oldest. His tiny first grade teacher cornered me in exasperation in the cafeteria one day. I'm over 5'10" so I debated in my head whether to pick her up and put her in the big garbage can, but good sense overcame me. She was taking away his recess (hey, thanks...he's fun when he gets home after THAT!), wanted me to get him tested for ADHD (he is definitely NOT) and was astounded that I suggested he might be bored stiff. She asked me if I thought he should be treated differently because he's so smart. I said, well, everyone else gets special treatment, why not smart kids?
She moved his desk away from the other kids' and he loved it. (this bugged her) His back was to them and he couldn't converse, and he could get his work done. Then, we homeschooled. I know you can't do that, but Milly. Anyway, if she's your kid, she's gotta be smart, personable, and energetic!
Try the respect for others thing.
Try consequences, and positive rewards.
Consider that she is bored, and maybe she could do extra work, or help the teacher.
Try moving her. . .maybe she's distracted by everyone else. Kyle was... and it's not necessarily looks like a potential party going on. Half the classrooms I've been teaching in, or aiding in are ZOOs!!
Good luck, mom!

codepoke said...

Hey, hey, hey!

I see she was working you.;-}

You can't prove a thing! I was being completely objective. :-)

Karen's words on boredom sound like a "nail on the head."

May the Lord grant you wisdom. I love how much you care about her personality, and how you reject convenient conformity. You go, Milly!

byevad said...

Ah, yes. We have talkers. The thing is, our eldest is angelic at school according to her teacher. She is angelic at Bible class. It's at home that there's a problem. Whenever Ali and I start a conversation (literally it's within the first 2 minutes of us talking) there's always an immediate need for something.

We are trying hard to teach about respect. We are even trying to just correct the action at this point: "Honey, so you see that Mommy and I are talking? Please say 'Excuse me' and wait patiently."

Outside the home: respect. Inside the home: competition for time. Opposite problem that you have!

I'll pray for you and your little.

Milly said...

My Little talks all the time. She has admitted that she interrupts my son and I because she’s jealous of our conversations. She’s a good little girl except for her constant talking.

byevad said...

Yeah, a little competition goes a long way in our house... and jealousy is usually the root of that competition...