The Milly Times

Got your coffee?

2011-11-21T16:47:00.000-08:00

Well then let’s talk about how I eat my words . . . a lot.

Example being

I have a small event coming up and I noticed that one of the mean girls in on the invite list. By mean I say’n that she will most likely bring up some pain that a former friend is going through and even though this lady has shut the door on our friendship (due to the pain that she is in right now and doesn’t want anyone except close friends with her) I still care for her and in no way want to discuss what is going on in her life. I want to lift her up in prayer not hear her being trashed. I also have ill feelings towards this person, now I know that I’m suppose to tell her and I did. I sent her an email telling her just how I felt about her and she responded with a huh? It must be the other woman not me. She left my church with a you don’t like me attitude and a slam of the door. I waved a fond farewell and an I wish you well in life thought. Her husband ran for office and lost much to our relief. She is a therapist and trashes her patients to others. I have a list, a long list of her offences to me. Okay I know that I should let it all go, I shouldn’t even care at all but seeing her name brought it back to me.

So how am I eating those words?

Today I told a coworker that she needed to let it go and give it to God over issues with another coworker. I told her to take those nuggets of grace and hold on to them. These words taste icky but hold true. I’m to chew on the darn nuggets of grace and like it. Aren’t I?

My son has something to do that evening so I don’t know if I can even go, we’ll see.

And so ya’ll know I’d try to talk to her about it but she won’t understand, trust me.

We stuff our lives in the corners of the house only to excavate them to discover how you once lived.

2011-08-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight I decided to go through a box that was labeled office. I still haven’t completely gone through all the stuff from the divorce, when I thought that we were going to have to move my sister went into a frenzy of packing. Needless to say I was stunned by all of the events going on… yes it was me who filed for divorce but I had lots of ground to do so. Life became about the divorce. Not a quickie . . . no. . . . he wanted to fight so we fought. The kids and I went to Disney World. My son fell and broke his hip, I had knee surgery, we healed and went on vacation to Alaska my sister was diagnosed with Alveolar soft part sarcoma. Then after a year lost the battle. Now I’m going through boxes of our lives.

Life has been a journey . . . as it always is . . . if you’re live’n it right

In this box are papers of a past life. Hotel room keys from that trip to Texas that made it clear to me.

Pictures drawn from Miss Littles hands... I found the purple me that I used for my picture in this blog. It felt like an old friend’s picture. I found writings from Codepoke because sometimes I didn’t have time to read it on the computer. Get well cards and I’m sorry for your loss. I had a birthday card from a high school friend, we still keep in touch. A copy of email addresses one friend now dead. Many lost to life’s new journeys

A lot of stuff that should have been tossed a long time ago.

We build these lives and little by little they began to change.

I know you’re looking at the things I’ve written and thinking HEY! They change as fast as your airbag comes at you. Yes they do that also. But the things that your day to day life misses is that the kids are growing up. They are moving forward. I’m happy for them. My son is a senior this year. Wow my little boy is turning into a man and I’m a bit sad but jumping for joy for him. Miss Littles is working on that grown up stuff but having a struggle with it. She’s still a bright spot in our lives, even when I’m listening to the new drama in her life.

I found my son’s press pass, a card that she made, and his medal from the Duke Talent search for outstanding ACT scores. A photo of my niece, yes she’s named after me. Life moving past and a lot of stuff to toss out.

It’s our world in a box with about 10 more to go.

Yiks!

Baby Bird.

2011-05-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

I love being off on Sundays.
I still get up early because I have to be at church.

This morning started of okay I did what I always do and so on, only as I was pulling out of my driveway I spotted a baby bird on my walkway. Poor little thing. It's rather far from it's home, I don't have any trees in the front yard. We pulled away hoping that the momma would take care of the little squawker.

After church the boy and I met my dad for lunch. It was nice to spent time with The Dad and seems to be doing well.

I expected to find the little lost bird dead when I pulled into the garage. I was wrong that little one is a trooper. It was clearly upset and very hungry. Still no mamma in sight. I waited to hear a distressed momma. I know if my babies were out of the nest I'd be squawking up a storm. No upset parent.

Animals are different from us. For what ever reason this bird has found it self in a predicament that is going to kill it.

I want to take the little one out of it misery but kept thinking what if I spot a mamma or daddy. I wanted to pick that bird up and take it in and take care of it. Baby birds need a lot of care and to be honest I can't do it.

So there outside is the strongest baby bird I have ever seen and I'm in here thinking of how God sees us as these baby birds with our mouths hanging open begging for more and more and more not at all worried about the sin that is lurking around the corner ready to gobble us up. The difference is that I am not God and just can't save this baby bird. the blessing is that God can save our ugly-cute squawking selves.

Thank you God for saving us.

I realize that the Church of Christ is known for how the men treat the woman but honestly!

2011-04-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

Okay so I go to a Church of Christ and I know the rules that many men seem to think that we need to live by but I don’t think that I can, in fact I know that I can’t, Bill didn’t raise his daughter to keep her opinions to herself. In fact I’ve seen to the glint in his eyes when I give my opinion very strongly. Now that’s the very thing that gets me in trouble. I have a brain and a voice and I use them.

I’ve never spotted a place in the bible where it said woman keep you opinions to yourself like the old way CofC s and CofCers think. Woman have voices and rights men. That way of thinking got me yelled at shortly before an event was about to start. The odd thing is that I didn’t yell nor did I demand I asked where some things were and got yelled at. That shocked me because I honestly just asked and was told that he didn’t know where it was. My response was sharp because I had been yelled at the whole time I was on the phone then to my surprise I was yelled at in person. I tried to defuse the situation by asking him to stop and do a sit down with another man. He refused and kept yelling. I asked him to please act professionally because people could hear and he told me that only my daughter could hear. Ummm lets back up here my child was not only shocked that he yelled at me over the phone but that he got in my face in front of her right before and event. I did speak to one of the other members of the team and told her that any time that I’ve spoken to him about any issue he has walked away. She let me know that he does the same thing to her and gives him very little respect.

Ah ha! It’s about women.

Putting that fact that he isn’t the right person for the job and that he should do things differently he still has had some home runs. I’ve never failed to speak about the hits. And I’ve never failed to speak about the misses where the ministry I work for is concerned. I got from his yelling that others have told him when I’ve spoken out. I said that yes I have spoken about being frustrated about damage to things. I won’t repeat what he said because it was as shocking as stupid. I felt set up that night from the get go and will be on guard from now on. I now know where the trust is. That is also shocking because I thought I could trust the man that I can now see that I can’t. Plus He needs to not be in it so that it’s a set up for the way things went the other night. He wasn’t asked to be in and should keep his mouth shut in front of guest also. It’s a hot spot to me to do that in front of the guest that is about to speak.

Now how are things? They are fine, they were fine before, and they will be fine again. I now know that he feels that walking away and not listening to what us ladies have to say is because he’s old CofC.

Most of all I find it hard at times to be treated like a bitch for speaking when the men are treated like they have the rights. I do sometimes wonder how long I can stay with a church like that.

Don’t get me wrong this church that I go to is making strides where women are concerned but they have a long way baby. Do I think that every man will see us women as equals? NOPE! NO WAY! Some of you dudes will always be the jerks that you are. But that’s okay because bless your hearts God loves you.

God, He rolls like that for us gals (My begining)

2011-04-23T19:49:00.000-07:00

How cool!

He appeared 12 times and the first time the women saw Him.
Not that I think us women need to push our power and I haven't made a cardboard sign so that I can march on Washington as an equal to men, I just think it's cool that the ladies were first. We did a whole bunch of stuff in the bible. I think you should read it. It's really cool.

Matthew 28:1-10 NIV

Matthew 28
Jesus Has Risen
1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

Hello out there

2011-04-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Change
Change
Change
Change is . . . good. .. .change is good.
So this here blog is going more public.

I want to say that I cleaned up a few things. I also let a few things stay. Look this here blog reflects how I felt and see and saw the world around me as I see fit. I have typos and use grammar like an angry lemur with a baby seal. That’s right I make up my own rules.

What I’ve always wanted to convey is that you are welcome here. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and talk to me.

Blizzard of 2011 home because I am His favorite

2011-02-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

Thank God I’m not working today or tomorrow.
Honestly I thank God.

One of the dear-to-my heart ladies that I am blessed to work with pointed out that we were both off for two days while it snowed and it was because God made it happen. I can’t argue with that, not that I would ever argue with this lady. She tell me she is God's favorite Child.

This wonderful woman is a prayer warrior and a bright light in our lives. I wish I could grow up to be like her.

One of the books that I’m currently reading had a great line in it and I wish that I could find it to quote properly. It’s basically this- the woman in the book wondered when she would be as mature as the boy in the story.

I too wonder that for myself when I will grow up enough to be a child of God.
The lady I spoke of from work tells me that she is God's favorite child. She is, God has protected her from spousal abuse, death of those she loves, and other trials. God has protected her. She's a child of God. By the way she will tell you that you are too.

When my son broke his hip and I shared my worries about the ball dying she said It’s not going to happen and we will not give it thought .God won’t let it happen and she prayed for him. Now I have to tell you that I’m the mom and I gave it thought, not that I’m not full of faith I’m mom and I had to prepare.

I just wonder though when will I grow up enough to be a child of God?
When will I be ready to stand faithfully and tell people that I am God's favorite child.
Are you ready to claim it?

Yep it was Christmas. . .remember why?

2010-12-25T21:26:00.000-08:00

Okay so we are suppose to look at Christmas as the birth of our Savior and most of us in the fringes of our lives do...

. . . but only in the fringes.

Come on look. . .

. . . no look harder

you see. . .

. . .it’s on your sleeve.

Yep that’s our savior you dropped Him when you were trying to get to that sale or find the right checkout so that you could hurry up and make it to the next sale.

We spend our cash and time buying gifts for those we love and those we have to buy for. You know who they are.

Some folks even go into debt to get the kids the perfect gift of the year.

Pssssst guess what?
They will want something different that is better and more expensive next year.

So if we are dropping Jesus to the wayside and rushing around to buy gifts what is the true meaning of Christmas to us?

Well this year I learned a bit about Christmas.

One don’t put off the shopping

Two when you put off the shopping and you are hurt it’s, excuse the pun, a real pain.

Now I’m not writing this to bum us out or make us feel guilty so keep reading PLEASE.

One big thing that I learned is that my daughter is a really fun person to shop with. Since the death of my mom, she died right before Christmas several years ago, we have done something fun for a gift. Miss Littles was enlisted to help me because of my shoulder pain. She had several ideas and loved doing the shopping with me.

I also learned that family can have a great big pain in their hearts for those who have left this earth to be with that Savior of ours that we put on the shelf when we were trying to decide if Uncle Drew would like socks or a hat and still come together and laugh, tease, and love.

Jesus was born so that we can decorate our yards with a ridicules amount of blow up junk and lights that can be seen from space. Jesus lived on this earth as a man so that we could stand in a mall of crazed people in search of just the right thing that Aunt Sarah will love.

Jesus died so that those who have left us and those who are to join them soon, and you and I, our stupid, forgetful, passionate about shopping, selves can live forever with Him.

He came, He taught, He died so that on the day that the earth celebrates His birth with too much food, too many lights, too much spending, on a day when too much is common and expected He still loves us .

He gave us family and friends to over do it all in the name of the baby born in a manger under the light of the brightest star so that He could save us forever.

Thank you God

A tugging has been in my heart

2010-12-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last January and thought i'd republish it after reading Phillip's post from the Thinklings

It’s cold here in Oklahoma, as it has been in most places in the US. A few days ago the temperatures dropped to 16 and lower.

It is just plain cold outside.

When he walked in I knew. There was no question about it. That man is homeless. He stood tall in stature with a backpack hugging his back. I thought it must be a blessing to help keep the wind off his back.

I say that he was tall in stature but as he spoke to me half pleading he must have felt so small in standings.

He rubbed his hands together and blew a cold breath onto them. I wondered if he felt desperation. I wondered if he didn’t wish that his breath would somehow warm all of him.

He lowered his head as he spoke to me but looked at my face.

“No disrespect ma’am but it’s awful cold out there and” he looked to the door “I slept out in that last night.”

I must have looked shocked because what I said next just spilled out.

“Why didn’t you sleep in one of the missions like John 3:16?”

He looked back at me and replied “Missions were all full and as I was saying I mean no disrespect ma’am but I was wondering if I could just stand here to catch my breath.”

I replied “Yes you may.”

He stood to the side to warm up.

Where I work we aren’t allowed to let the homeless wander in the store. I couldn’t send him down for hot coffee. All that I could do was to allow him a warm place to stand for a moment. It’s not that I work for an uncaring company but I work in an area that has a lot of homeless people. Our customers don’t like being asked for money from those who don’t work. Most of the people that come into the store most likely donate to some form of charity so I know that they are caring people. I talk to them I know that one of my guys, who is always going to look to find me helps in a prison ministry and I have many other stories like his. But still we have to be responsible.

He thanked me and left before I was able to send someone for a cup of hot coffee for him.

This morning I was talking to my minister about the man and he said that he had spoken to other ministers about the same issue of overcrowded shelters and using our big empty church buildings for them. Some are open to it many aren’t.
The tugging of our hearts won’t end as long as people will huddle in the freezing temperatures.

Please pray for these men, women, and children

Matthew 25:34-38 (New International Version)

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?

Hello

2010-10-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

Howdy! Hi!

Yep Still here but working a ton of hours and stuff. Have a great week!

Memory is Sailing

2010-07-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take you sailing
I had begun to think of how to do it
You loved sailing and I wanted to take you
We talked about it before
The ocean and the sand
Shells and gulls
But. . .
Then we told each other I love you
Our last words
Our last moments before
I can only dream of sailing with you

I pray that Heaven has big blue oceans

and you are sailing

Gone to walk with God

2010-07-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

This morning my sister's body gave up it's fight. I'll miss her till the day I join her with our Lord

God's Sticker Book

2010-06-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

It’s no surprise to those who have been here in the past that odd thoughts plagued me

and

the other day at work was no different. I was cleaning like I always do in the mornings when a thought about stickers wedged itself into my brain.

What if we got stickers for a job well done?

Can you see your boss giving you a sticker with a kitten on it because you came to work on time every day for a week?

How about a gold star on the board next to your name because you finished all your work Chris?

Salguod great job in helping Karen with the computer here’s a stick with a car on it!
You’d proudly put it on your board in your cubical.

Do you think that as adults we would be jealous if our coworker got a sticker and we didn’t?

Would KBob be unhappy that Barbara got the sticker of the Bible and he got nothing?

I know that as adults we get just as unhappy because others get recognized and we don’t.

Didn't we do a good job also?

Several of us were given an award for customer service not long ago that came with a pin and a bit extra in our checks. After taxes it was a happy meal. I couldn’t believe how several of my coworkers behaved when they weren’t given the award. I think that several of them needed frowny face stickers on their charts. Why do we act like that? I’m due for another award and now I’m thinking that several people will be upset with me because of it. I might need to bring stickers for them. ;-}

I wrote this a bit ago and yes several made remarks about the Fossel watch.

As I pondered those thoughts of stickers another thought popped in.

What if God had a sticker book?

You’d be standing in line waiting for God to open your book, praying that He has your book and not the man who lives in a place hotter than Texas in July, wondering if when he does you’ll have a whole bunch of cool stickers filling your book.

I wonder what kind of stickers that I would have in my book?

Great job handling the ex this week a smiley face

Lost you temper and yelled a little devil sticker

Helped a friend you get a sticker shaped like a clown fish

My turn comes and He picks up my book. I blow out a puff of air that was held in when the thoughts of my book being in the basement or lost, after all lots of others are there waiting for their sticker books. He’s God so I doubt that the guy whispering to the lady next to him about how he knew someone who said that they knew someone who said his book was lost for a week and then was found on God’s desk under his coffee mug so he got a coffee mug sticker for the trouble is telling a true story.

He’s God He doesn’t lose a book.

Sweet relief when I see that the book is rather big. Others are smaller and lots are bigger but I’m still happy with it. I stand proud when He calls off all the stickers that I was given when I was good and seem to be interested in my feet when He tells me of the stickers I was given when I was bad.

God smiles at me and places one last sticker in my book –

The Forgiven sticker.

What stickers do you want in your book?

Golly my life is a strange path

2010-06-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

Perhaps we all know a person who just can’t let go of the bone.

Wait . . . am I mixing a metaphor?

Oh well that’s what Milly does.

This week I gave a bit of thought about this blog. I’ve had the grand pleasure of meeting in our bloggone way some wonderful people. Something that I cherish and I’m glad that they can see me on FB.

I thought about shutting it down and starting a new one. That seems like having another pet to neglect. So I will continue to abuse this one.

I had one of the worst years last year and I shared it with everyone. Yes I shared it to a point that people were fed up. Not one person said that they have heard enough but I know that I am sick of myself and this pity party. My son threw one for himself I joined him and talked about it. THE PARTY IS OVER!!!

Cancer sucks and my sister is still fighting hard. I miss her. We don’t talk like we use to but I still have her thank God.

One of my best friends battled cancer and won! Her husband took a large amount of pain killers, she left him and spent the night here with her kids. He landed in the hospital. Stupid man almost died. So far he is back in church and thankful that he has her and the kids.

My dad is doing well.

My brother,sister-in-law, and niece are wonderful.

My daughter is a ten year old little. Drama and fun happen all at once.

I have a nice home, great kids, and I’m doing just fine. I will say that I miss having a spouse to be with but I want the right man. I want a man that will be faithful to me from beginning to the end. I want a spiritual leader.
I want a man who will love my three legged dog and the kids.

I have been blessed with a great sista friend next door, I call her mom MOM. That’s huge for me no one else can ever be MOM to me but my real MOM. I love her kids. I have to they almost live here. We’ve talked about building a tunnel so that the kids can go in and out without bringing the out in.

God has blessed me with everything but a nice ex-husband and a new man in my life.
I think I needed the closure that my ex-boyfriend gave me when we went out. I needed to say what I said and hear what he had to say. I can’t really think of the life we might have had if he had proposed that December at Utica Square under those twinkly lights because he never did.

It has been a year of reflecting and resigning and resting and I’m sure other R words.

Golly my life is a strange path. Thank God

Life is grand!

2010-04-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

Where have I been?

Here and there

I've been taking care of me and the kids

I've been reading

I've been checking on you folks in Blogworld

I have been working on a post or two so who knows I might pop one in soon

Have a great day

Millyism-because

2010-03-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

Excuses are like pickles

Some are sweet
some are
sour
but they all come

from
cucumbers

Praying that the cancer goes away

2010-03-10T11:30:00.000-08:00

CANCER
SUCKS!

So many of the people that I love seem to be touched in one way or another with cancer

Larry's wife-she faces chemo after having a baby
Deanne-cancer is back. The fight is on!
My sister-Sill fighting with a long road ahead

GOD-PRAYER-kICKING THE cancer's BUTT

Wow after more than a year I am seeing the idea that God put into my head at my church.

2010-03-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

Oh in no way can I take the credit even though I have been given it.

I’ll explain

Some time ago KB posted cardboard testimonies on his blog. (Correct me Bob if it wasn’t you)

I watched a couple of them on YouTube after that and was so taken by how so much can be conveyed in a so little words. So I had some knowledge of how it worked but hadn’t given it any thought in my church. God speaks to us in some awesome ways. I was at work when women approached me with a large stack of boxes as I rang her up I discovered and was invited to cardboard testimonies. I spoke to my minister about it and how I would like to see it happen at our church. He asked me to head it up. I agreed only my life became a soap opera, really look at this list from then to now:

FRIEND’S CANCER
DIVORCE
DAD’S HEART SURGERY
COURT
SON’S BROKEN HIP
MY KNEE SURGERY
COURT
ALASKA VACATION
SISTER WITH CANCER
SON’S PINS REMOVED
SISTER’S CANCER TREATMENTS
FRIEND BATTLING CANCER AGAIN
(Please pray for them)

As you can see from the list my life has been interesting

Still God is with me.

Cardboard testimonies is going to happen this Sunday!Wednesday night Greg announced that we were doing it and we got several responses. The one that I will forever hold in my heart is my daughter’s CANCER –other side- FIGHTING and a drawing of a fist. She has one about divorce also. I will most likely have to take it on stage for her, she tells me she’s shy.

I’m also putting large pieces of cardboard by the communion tables so that people can write what they have on their hearts. Greg was on the same page with me on hanging the cardboards around the church. And we all agreed on the music, without talking about it those of us involved had the same song in mind.

I love how God works!

If you're in town join us.

Life is what it is

2010-02-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

The last couple of weeks have been stressful where the ex and I are concerned. He seems to want to fight about everything. I’m angry that he pushed my buttons so hard that I flipped. I win at nothing when I lose my temper. I’ve hated the way that he has twisted the truth and flat said things that aren’t true. He wants for me to fall into line, his line and I won’t do it. At one point he yelled “You’re ruining my life.” That made me laugh. I don’t want to be a part of his life at all. I’ve prayed for his marriage. I pray for him. I want to stop fighting. I’m letting my attorney go as soon as all the divorce paperwork is done. No it isn’t yet I waiting on his side.

How do I stand firm?

How do I cope?

GOD

Divorce, broken hip, heart surgery, knee surgery, and cancer
We had a wreck of a year and face more troubles.

My sister hasn’t kicked the cancer yet and my ex still pushes my buttons.

I’ve learned that we actually do teach people how we want to be treated. I’m trying to retrain myself and him. At times I picture a rolled up news paper. :-}

So last night I gave it UP (Rather flung it up) and went to sleep and this morning I woke feeling blessed and happy.

I know how to handle it all now. God spoke to me in my sleep.

I’m also working on being healthy. I eat cactus . . . yes cactus. My joints feel great, I’ve lost more than 11 lbs and I have pep in my step. It’s not all from cactus, I’m eating healthier. I’m going to join a gym when I can afford it. I’d love to take boxing. Honestly.

Okay so my house looks like a disaster most of the time and I have just enough money to squeak by. But I have a home and I have enough money to take care of us.
I also want to go on another date with a nice man. I went a few months ago and it was very nice. When God is ready for me to meet him I will still I’m ready to meet a nice man.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

. . . . . So how are you my friends?

She loved the earth

2010-02-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

This is the time when I don’t love being here.
I can smell the flowers
I wish I knew why
I can see his heart breaking . . . so young
The scent of the flowers waft over me
She had a great life in front of her
Good friends
The yellow roses are stunning
The music seems to be dragging . . . I won’t want that
Are those lilies?
I can’t take them . . . they smell great but make me sick
The placement is wrong . . . I hate it
Who loves it?
They can almost touch the . . .
When did things go wrong?
Yes they are lilies. . . I hope they don’t make me sick
The lady next to me knows how they feel, sort of . . . she’s lost . . . a. . .
If my eyes start watering no one will know it’s the lilies
She loved the earth
I would have changed that background
I should have asked if they needed help
I should have gone upstairs
It’s fine no one cares about a background
Those are lovely words about her
The flowers are nice
He looks stunned
I want to hug him I want to hold him
I want to take the pain away . . . he’s a cool kid . . . always happy to see me
She must have known how special her little brother is. . yet. . .
I think the heat coming on is blowing the scent of the flowers to me
In the quiet of the night . . . the pain . . . sets forth the idea . . . of killing the pain
I remember the loss to suicide

A tugging has been in my heart

2010-01-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

It’s cold here in Oklahoma, as it has been in most places in the US. A few days ago the temperatures dropped to 16 and lower.

It is just plain cold outside.

When he walked in I knew. There was no question about it. That man is homeless. He stood tall in stature with a backpack hugging his back. I thought it must be a blessing to help keep the wind off his back.

I say that he was tall in stature but as he spoke to me half pleading he must have felt so small in standings.

He rubbed his hands together and blew a cold breath onto them. I wondered if he felt desperation. I wondered if he didn’t wish that his breath would somehow warm all of him.

He lowered his head as he spoke to me but looked at my face.

“No disrespect ma’am but it’s awful cold out there and” he looked to the door “I slept out in that last night.”

I must have looked shocked because what I said next just spilled out.

“Why didn’t you sleep in one of the missions like John 3:16?”

He looked back at me and replied “Missions were all full and as I was saying I mean no disrespect ma’am but I was wondering if I could just stand here to catch my breath.”

I replied “Yes you may.”

He stood to the side to warm up.

Where I work we aren’t allowed to let the homeless wander in the store. I couldn’t send him down for hot coffee. All that I could do was to allow him a warm place to stand for a moment. It’s not that I work for an uncaring company but I work in an area that has a lot of homeless people. Our customers don’t like being asked for money from those who don’t work. Most of the people that come into the store most likely donate to some form of charity so I know that they are caring people. I talk to them I know that one of my guys, who is always going to look to find me helps in a prison ministry and I have many other stories like his. But still we have to be responsible.

He thanked me and left before I was able to send someone for a cup of hot coffee for him.

This morning I was talking to my minister about the man and he said that he had spoken to other ministers about the same issue of overcrowded shelters and using our big empty church buildings for them. Some are open to it many aren’t.
The tugging of our hearts won’t end as long as people will huddle in the freezing temperatures.

Please pray for these men, women, and children

Matthew 25:34-38 (New International Version)

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?

Good Bye ladies

2009-12-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

It’s amazing how God places people into our hearts.
Two wonderful ladies from my life passed this month.
I shall forever be blessed by those women.
One gave me the gift of books and reading.
The other showed me how to be strong and how to cook.

Thank you for being a wonderful part of my life.

Her Heart

2009-12-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

I wrote this some time ago and thought it needed a dusting off to remind me of her and how chosen she was and is. A mother. . .A mother who loved for us and the man that held her hand for us. We are blessed to have Him and them to remind us of the life beyond this.

I’m not so sure that I truly understood the pain that she must have felt while watching Him travel from place to place being treated as a criminal and as a star, so to speak, until I gave birth to my son. He was a surprise, a big surprise. I remember looking in the mirror after the second test thinking huh?. . . . Me . . .Us . . . We can’t do this. I remember the sound of the receptionist’s voice when she said "Congratulations" and I said "A . . . sure" she responded with "Oh" I then began to try to redeem myself with "No. . . no . . . I’m happy".

What did she feel?

Was she as afraid as I was?

More so I think.

My pregnancy was great, my friends and family were happy, my husband was a proud father to be. I couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

Did she keep a smile on her face?

I think she must have.

How did he feel when she told him?

Did he look shocked?

Most fathers do the first time.

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about:
His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

I wonder if she talked to Him before he was born?

Did she put her hand on her tummy to feel His kicks?

She must have.

When my son was born I sat in the hospital bed looking down at this small being wondering what to do.

How I loved him so much.

I could hardly take my eyes from him.

She must have been as fascinated.

I remember standing at the window of my son’s room looking out at the moon, so big and silver. It looked as if you could touch it.

I remember as I stood with my sleeping baby, worried as all new mothers worry about the things that could take this little one away, I remember thinking God how hard to send Him here to die.

I couldn’t let my child go to the cross.

I turned and looked at my sleeping boy safe and warm.

I truly know the sacrifice that mother made for us.

She carried a child for us.

She nurtured a child for us.

She watched as they beat, mocked, tortured, and one by one drove nails into Him.
After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him.
Then they led him away to crucify him.

My son had three stitches above his eye I want to take his pain away and I felt like hitting the doctor when he rushed not making sure it was numb.

Only three tiny stitshes went through my heart.

Did it feel as if those nails were going into her heart each one more painful than the other?

How broken she must have felt as she watched her son die a horrible and painful death.

Was she relieved when He took His last breath?

No more pain.

Now it’s done.

How hard it must have been to hold her son knowing He wouldn’t smile at her on this earth again.

Was she comforted by the knowledge that He Was, Is, And Will Always Be?

I know a mother’s heart.

She must have hurt so much for Him.

I know that God gave her comfort through it all.

I am so grateful for Mary.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it" (John 3:16-17).

Praying for good news

2009-12-08T12:35:00.000-08:00

My sister is leaving for Houston today to make another visit to MD Anderson.

Please pray for good news... and if it isn’t that we have the strength to stand strong in HIS arms.

Here YOU take the wheel. . .

2009-11-27T17:42:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I felt like it was all closing in on me. I mean come on already with letting go of control. I want to move on. I want to live my life. He isn’t allowing it, he’s angry and for some reason can’t seem to move onto the “friend” to yell at and control and abuse. They are getting married so bug her not me. I’m not angry anymore, I’m relieved. I don’t wake in the morning wondering what he will complain about. I don’t wonder what new insult he will fling at me. I wake happy, ready to meet the new day. I’ve always been a happy person.

I’ve had a couple of bouts with depression. The first bout was when I decided to leave college and the man that I loved left to see the world and entertain as he traveled. I lost my friends and that man at the same time. I missed college, him, and learning. I threw myself into a horrible job and tried to save money so that I could go back to college. I pulled myself out of the funk and moved on with my life.

The second bout was while married. I pulled myself out by throwing myself into writing.
I’m happy. Even while living with a man who critiqued our lives in and out of the bedroom I was happy. I could see the blessings.

I now go to a divorce group to just talk and to listen. It’s helpful to hear ideas and get prospective from those who are going through the same things. I sat next to a woman who knew my pain and I know how she feels. I know that she too is going to hit that wall. I know that she is going to feel that she will never have control of her life because he won’t let her. We hugged and I tried to tell her that it will get better. It has for me. I gave him that control. I gave him control. I’m now working on not giving him my mood. I’m working on not letting him run my life. I’m not going to allow him to hurt me anymore.

God has, is, and will be a guide. I recently sat in my car feeling that I wasn’t going to be able to give my children much of a Christmas. That I will never be able to fix the things on the house that need work. As I sat in the garage HE began to talk to me. HE asked me to give HIM the control . . . and I did just that.

. . . and HE has blessed me with several wonderful things. Like the insurance company kicking in some money for my knee surgery because of the wonderful lady at the Doctor’s billing department going after them. HE sent many other wonderful ways this last week to let me know that HE is in control.

. . . can we put HIM in control every day?

. . .I’m learning and try’n.

The only person that can control me is the one that I allow the ONE that I need to put in control is GOD.

I am. . .

2009-11-10T19:06:00.000-08:00

I'm still here and I'm reading.

Life is a bit crazy.

. . . . .so how are ya?

I long for . . .

2009-10-21T20:28:00.001-07:00

When I think about my path I think about my dad and how he would find me in my special place in the woods. It had wild violets, a spring, and lots of buds and blooms in the spring. In the fall the earth smell rich and alive and the colors were amazing. I loved that spot and my dad knew it. If he found me sitting there he would walk quietly away so that I could have my special time in that special place.

I long for a place like that now.
One summer my son and I went sailing. I love the peace that the water brings.
I long for a place like that now.
I watched a sunset from the deck of a ship with my children
I long for a place like that now.
I’ve rested on a boat dock in the fall and listened to teens
I long for a place like that now
I’ve been held by friends who love me
I long for a place like that now.
He has walked in the woods with me,
He has sailed with me,
He stood next to me,
He has rested with me,
He has held me.
I long for a place like that for us now

Think'n differently

2009-09-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Now if you know me you know that I can’t leave it alone. I’ll think about it, pick at it, talk about it and eventually blog about it.

I’ve been perusing Jared’s book lately. I’m not too far into it but I do see an opinion that I disagree with. It’s nothing personal he’s a good writer and preacher and I am far from qualified to disagree out loud but you know how I am.

Genesis 22 (New International Version)

Abraham Tested

1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied.

2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about.

4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.

5 He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together,

7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?" "Yes, my son?" Abraham replied. "The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.

10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.

11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

15 The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time

16 and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son,

17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies,

18 and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

19 Then Abraham returned to his servants, and they set off together for Beersheba. And Abraham stayed in Beersheba

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"

God doesn’t test us because He wants to know how we are going to react. Think about it do you really think that God is sitting up there wondering how we will react. Can you picture it? God leaning over to Jesus saying “Dude wanta make a bet that that he runs away?” I don’t think so. I think that HE knows us and He knows the beginning and the end. He tests us so we will know how we will react. So that we can handle life and death. He tests us so that we know how to obey

2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

WOW!!!!!!WHOM YOU LOVE!!!!!!!
Jared and I agree on this one I won’t kill my kid. Guess who knows that? God knows!

3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey.

Think on this EARLY. Why tell us what time of the day? I think if I had to do something that hard I’d not sleep the night before and I’d need to get up early so that my courage wouldn’t sink. I don't know about you but I tend to put things off the longer I think about it.

He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance.

ON THE THIRD DAY! What a long and difficult journey. Take a moment and think about it. Twice my son had to go into the operating room and with every tick of the clock my heart hurt. I didn’t exhale until his wonderful face was in front of me.

He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

I’m sure he didn’t want to say something like “Hey guys I’m going to kill my son up there so hang tight.” The men might have jumped in and tried to stop that crazy man.

6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?" "Yes, my son?" Abraham replied. "The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

I don’t know if God had prepared Isaac but I do think that he wasn’t afraid at that moment.

8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

See they went together. Abraham didn't grab him up and drag the boy.

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.

Okay now think about this one. Have you ever tried to get your kid in a wrestling hold? Not too easy is it? Isaac didn’t put up a fight because Isaac would have won the fight. Isaac knew that it was from God.

Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.

The knife is in his hand and he is ready to kill his son.

. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!" "Here I am," he replied.

Have you ever been told or thought that someone you love is going to die then you hear that they are cancer free or the heart attack wasn’t fatal. Now think of it at your hand. What a release of air Abraham must have let out.Think on this Isaac thought that the father he loved was going to kill him. He didn't struggle or cry out to God he too had faith in God. He knew that God would take him home to be with Him.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

Abraham sacrificed his son that day.

He took him to the altar.

He bound him.

He readied the fire.

He raised the knife.

In his heart he killed his son to obey God.

Amazing . . .

and. . .

. . . .. . . frightening.

And have not withheld your son, your only son.

Just as God didn’t withhold His Son His only Son that day on the cross.

What a powerful and amazing story of obedience and love.

The translation of the prayer in post #500

2009-09-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:9-25 (King James Version)

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.

Amen

#500

2009-09-13T18:58:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try to do something really cool for number 500 actually it’s not the real number 500 because I’ve removed a few for different reasons but it says number 500 so we’ll call it that.

At this point in my life I’m fighting giants and praising God for the wins.

Do you ever think of yourselves as little David standing alone with nothing but a strap and a stone?

Have you ever found yourself looking at that giant?

We aren’t alone because we have God. But when I’m standing in front of that giant I find myself feeling weak sometimes. God knows when my hands shake and the panic comes. He knows when He needs to hand me a stone and a strap. I believe that if God had given David nothing that he could have defeated Goliath with only a puff of air. So I’ll let out a puff of air and say this prayer.

Ama naming nasa langit,
Sambahin nawa ang Pangalan Mo.

Ikaw nawa ang maghari sa amin,
Sundin nawa ang iyong kalooban
dito sa lupa tulad ng sa langit.

Bigyan mo kami ng pagkaing kailangan
nawa sa araw na ito;
At patawarin mo kami sa aming kasalanan,
Tulad ng aming pagpapatawad samga nagkasala sa amin

At huwag mo kaming iharap sa
mahigpit na pagsubok,
Kundi ilayo mo kami sa masama!
Sapagka't iyo ang kaharian at ang kapangyarihan
at ang kapurihan,
magpakailanman!

Amen

Not so cool in the way of pyro tech but a really cool prayer that Jesus gave us.

No matter how He sends us. . .kicking and screaming . . .

2009-09-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

I was IM’n a buddy the other night and responded that I was really doing okay in spite of all the stuff in my life. My house is a mess, my lawn needs to be mowed, I have bills to pay, my sister has a rare cancer and isn’t doing well, my son is having surgery to remove the pins this week, I’m getting rid of the kitten and the kids aren’t happy, this is the time of year that my hours get cut and I’ve had to take time off for the boy and my sis. But really I’m okay.

He sent me these words

Philippians 4:11-13 (Today's New International Version)
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength

He has given me the strength to take whatever this life gives. He also has gone and gotten me this past week. Honestly it was as if He grabbed my hand and dragged me to church. I’m a bit of a recluse at times at church. I know it sounds surprising but it’s true. I get the kids where they need to be then head to the booth.

So. . .

I hadn’t planned to show up for the big event at my church. I had done very little to help due to my sister being ill and didn't really care that it was happening. Big deal is what I was thinking. I am not going and who cares if I show up. God cares and He said so in a phone call and with my friends/hey we’re family. (No God didn't call He had someone do it) I was asked if my daughter would light candles for the Saturday night event. I agreed. NOW I HAVE TO GO!

When I walked with my friends/hey we’re family to look at the decorations they told me about the dinner (I even failed to look at what was going on) I told them that I hadn’t sent an RSVP. They informed me that one of our family members had and wouldn’t be there so I was covered.

God fed the multitudes and me.

I worked that morning at my paying job and checked on my son after work then dashed to church. I was needed in the booth and had a blast.

We CofC folks can rock at times.

I wish that I could bottle that spirit up and take it to my sister. I ached for her presence when Sharron sang, she loved listening to her.

I loved the hugs and love.

I visited with several people that I hadn’t seen in a while.

It’s so amazing how God sees what we don’t.

He sees in our darkness.

He sees through us.

He sees within us.

He sees with us.

He knows us . . .

. . . and knows when to drag us into His fellowship to show us love.

The event wasn’t about me it was about celebrating what He gave us and will continue to give to us.

No matter how God sends for us. . .

kicking and screaming. . .

laughing. . .

crying. . .

or singing. . .

we should know that we are sent.

Meet Khloey

2009-08-27T19:09:00.001-07:00

Yes she needed a bath

Pull it-Drag it-Hide from it. It just won't go away

2009-08-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last night as I listened to a friend and gave advice I thought about how we hold on to our childhood mindsets without really realizing it.

That is until. . . .

Warning if you are anti same sex relationships then stop reading. I will hold my feeling about the issue and ask that you also do the same the post is about relationship and mind set not same sex ideas.

My friend is a nice young woman who is stable, generous, and dependable. She gave a friend a kidney knowing it would compromise her life, jobs, and hurt her financially. She holds down three jobs to support herself.

Last night we sat at the break table and talked about her new relationship and what was working and what wasn’t. As I listened to her talk I heard her say it wasn’t expectable to be gay growing up. There it is one of the reasons she has trouble relaxing into a relationship. She shook her head no but I pointed out what she had said. She grew up in a very religious family with parents who didn’t show affection at all to each other. Her mother was treated like a possession. No wonder she is having trouble in a relationship.

We were interrupted because she was on the clock and our boss called looking for her. It’s all good he loves us.

Get past how you feel about same sex relationships and think about how we drag our past into our now. Yes some of them get dragged. We know we have them in tow and we still take them with us knowing it’s going to wreck things. It’s like we can’t help ourselves. We clean out the closet and still place them in the keep pile.

Have you ever found yourself pulling it into your relationship? I'd bet you have. You may not even know it. My parents had a great relationship. They openly kissed and told each other I love you. I wanted that with my ex. We were open about kissing at times but not I love you. I had to say it first and then was crushed when he failed to say it back. It killed me to be the first every night to say I love you. I tried a few times to hold out and to see if he would say it first. He wouldn't and my heart was broken each night. He's say it after sex making it even worse. Guys we ladies want to hear it out of the bedroom not just in the bedroom.

Sometimes they hide inside our brains tucked up under that little end table that grandma had with a hand carved pineapple base. You are just hanging out with someone you love and WHAM your mom’s voice is coming out of your mouth. You find yourself saying “That’s how my dad did it.” BTW your loved one will and is allowed to make that snappy come back “If you know it’s the way he did it and its wrong then change it.” If only you could! I know my ex has said that to me and I have made the come back and nothing got changed.

I told my friend that she is right in getting therapy. I never finished my degree so I am not the expert on this one. I still try years of classes and blogging seems to make me feel like I should be able to speak up.

So how do I let go of all those relationship eating things? I have no idea today but I’ll know if I ever meet a man that makes me think about relationships that I'll need to shed myself of them. I have a feeling that they will still show up. I'll still have moments of distrust from being in a bad marriage. God bless the man that can take it in and help me through it day by day.

I'm sick of the pink hospital

2009-08-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

We're in the ER due to a new issue with Memz.

CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fun questions

2009-08-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

Here's some fun ones to answer if you want or not.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:20 am

2. How do you like your steak? Well done

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Jo Bros 3D

4. What is your favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Alaska but I love it here also because I have friends and family around

6. What did you have for breakfast? I was a bad girl but try’n to kill a head banger. Naked juice and donuts

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican

8. What foods do you dislike? Baked fish

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Taco Bueno, Pei Wei, Lone Star, Logans etc

10. Favorite salad dressing? Depends on my mood and what kind of salad

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Equinox

12. Your favorite thing to wear? Jeans, sneakers, a shirt.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Hmmm so many places to go

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Definitely 1/2 full!! But wondering who drank half?

15. Where would you want to retire? I get to retire!!!!!!!!!

16. Favorite time of day? Sunrise

17. Where were you born? Tulsa Oklahoma

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? I’m a mood watcher depends on how I feel and what’s on

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Those who don't want to

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See number 19

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? everyone!!

22. Bird watcher? Is one flying over me now?!!!!!?

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning

24. Do you have any pets? Yes a kitten will be here soon. If it’s a girl Khloey if it’s a boy Hobbs.

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I’d like no more excitement for a while

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Zoologist

27. What is your best childhood memory? Zoo classes

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Both

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

31. Been in a car accident? Yes

32. Any pet peeves? Yes several

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Not a pizza snob. I’ll eat almost any kind except Greek because of allergies. Lamb puts me to bed.

34. Favorite Flower? I love them all

35. Favorite ice cream? I love them all

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bueno

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? zero

38. From whom did you get your last email? An old friend Roger

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? What Dea said credit cards are evil, Use debit cards... I don’t have a credit card.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Heh! You asking me!

41. Like your job? LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!

42. Broccoli? Yes! Let do some

43. What was your favorite vacation? Alaska and Disney World

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Kids

45. What are you listening to right now? TV and my children too bad the kids don’t have a mute button.

46. What is your favorite color? Purple

47. How many tattoos do you have? Zero I see bad ones every day at work

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? None if you want to do it49. What time did you finish this quiz? 8:22pm time for bed

50. Coffee Drinker? Starbucks espresso truffle is dreamy

God hears!

2009-08-14T17:35:00.001-07:00

My sister still has cancer but the large tumor isn’t it. It’s also out of her body. We’ve had such a journey so far and many miles to go to rid her body of cancer. I’m preparing the house for her, our family, and friends.

We’ll take it step by step day by day and rejoice in it.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.

Big Bang funny

2009-08-10T14:18:00.000-07:00

I thought we needed a little Sheldon

I can't wear different pajamas. These are my Monday pajamas.

That's all I'm saying

I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

My boy doesn't have that trouble with his pillow case.

Radiation burns -- a little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.... In fact, I was briefly able to see the inside of my sister's guinea pig, Snowball, before he caught fire. It led to an interesting expression in our house: "not a snowball's chance in a CAT scanner

Just too funny

That's preposterous! I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, I just don't see it.

You know you would be too

Now laugh today

From Big Bang Theory

God hear our prayers

2009-08-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

The elevator seems like an old friend. I lean back as I ride it up and down.
I know the people taking care of her by name.
I know the cafeteria food all too well and vending has robbed me way too many times.
Between the fear we laugh
Between tears we talk
So many unknowns
Friends call and visit
Flowers, cards, and food
I’m thankful that God sent a soft shoulder to cry on

My sis and me

2009-07-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting in the hospital watching my big sis sleep.
It seems like a dream one really bad dream.

I thought I’d tell you a bit about her.

Memz is a single woman who worked hard to get where she is, but that’s only a small part of who she is.

Let’s start with something from childhood.

Thanks Jason for the reminder of those little moments.

We grew up sharing a room.
At night we’d play that game. If you shared a room you know the one. Ours went like this.

You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
Dad’s voice GIRLS!!!!!
Giggles
GIRLS!!!!
Shhhh turn off the light
You turn off the light
You turn off the light.
No you turn off the light
You were the last one in bed you turn it off
You’re closer, you turn it off
I’m asleep. (Fake snoring noises)
I’m asleep first (Fake snoring noises louder)
You are faking it
You are faking it
Am not
Are so
You are
THUMP THUMP THUMP Dad’s footsteps
(Whispers) Now you’ve done it
(Whispers) Not me you
Door is opened man with disapproving look turns off the light.
Girls giggle because they know that daddy loves them and smiled as he walked away.

I’m praying that the light stays on for years to come.

Please pray

2009-07-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

Please pray for my sister.

She’s facing a giant . . . .CANCER.

. . . .and yes we are vary afraid.

Fear not! I'm afraid and proud of it!

2009-07-24T11:26:00.000-07:00

Fear is a wondrous thing to me. If we actually own up to it we fear a lot of things. Some of those are rational fears some are irrational. The cool thing is that God knows us. He knew that we would have all kinds of fear.

The word fear is in the NIV Bible over three hundred times.

Everyone has thorns with their roses. Yes I think that strife and fear are on the same subject line. Not having enough money to pay the bills brings fear. Will the water get shut off? What about food for my children? If you’ve never had to worry about the basics in life then you’re blessed but not as blessed as those who have been hungry only to be fed. God has always seen that I be taken care of from a roof over my head to a meal when hungry. I learned more about how wonderful humans are when I lived on my own. I’m sure that the blessing will continue now that I’m single again.

Divorce brings fear.

I was afraid to stay with this man who told me how horrible it was to be with me. He let me know that I never met his expectations and he told me every day that we were together. He didn’t say it outright every day but he let me know by slamming a door or an object. I felt that he hated the very sight of this house it was his prison and that those of us inside held the keys to his freedom.

When he told me that he wouldn’t leave her for me I knew it was done. I still tried, after all twenty years of marriage doesn’t go gently into that good night. It yells, cries, and pounds its fists. It says things that hurt beyond repair.

I remember the moment that I knew I was done he chose to kiss the dog goodbye instead of me. The dog was once again put in front of me. At least it wasn’t her text messaging or a call. Many times we would be talking and that woman would have to hunt him down. Good grief it was as if she knew we were together. Her marriage was sinking so why not help mine go down with it. On my way to work I made the call to my sister-in-law and my brother to help me find a good attorney. My sis-in-law is an attorney and my brother is a lobbyist. My sis’n law listened to me tell my story. She understood and was just what I needed at that moment and many after.

Many times I would show up at church looking, as my friends have told me, beat down and as if the world was on my shoulders. I sat in the booth and cried. “G” just worked around me as if nothing were wrong once in awhile asking me to push a button or turn something on. Others hugged me giving words of encouragement. I didn’t tell anyone for a while, actually the news paper told a few. I was afraid to tell them and I was afraid to tell my children. I said something to the worship minister in front of my minister, I think it was about working out at an apartment workout room. My minister led me out of the room and confronted me about the divorce. He told me that he and his wife were sorry and if I need anything to please let them know. His wife found me where I usually hang out at on Wednesday nights. She related the same as the minister I told her that I was doing alright she cried and told me she wasn’t. My fears of telling people at church were gone. They loved me and would give me what I needed. support.

I was afraid about taking care of the house. I’m handy but not at everything. I was told this week that whatever help I needed was a phone call away.

Telling my children was hard Miss Littles was devastated and held me as she cried. God has sent us friends who understand and live right next door. They know too well. Miss Littles and her friend have spent the summer together. They are swimmer as we speak. I have a friend who gets all those fears and tries to solve them or at least listen. It’s good to have Christian friends next to us. I’ve been told by the Miss Little Friend several times that they are glad that we are Christians. So am I God has held me through all of this.

One friend has let me cry on his shoulder, so to speak, and has met a lady who makes his heart thump. I miss him but what a joy to know that we can be so devastated, so afraid, and then be given love and hope.

I think I may be ready to date again but that brings a whole new set of fears. After all I was told how I didn’t measure up every day for almost twenty years.

I learn from fear. At times I was afraid of being hit by him. I was afraid of how the judge was going to rule, I was afraid of my children falling apart, I was afraid of what people might think. I was afraid of lots of things and it seemed all the things around me. Then the morning came and the sun came in a beautiful new painting from God and it was a new day to wade through those fears.

I’ll write about feeling stupid some day, after all it wasn’t his first. It was, however, the last one I have to deal with in my marriage.

So if you are afraid know that you aren't alone. God has your back and I'm praying for you.

If you need to vent fear/fears you are welcome to do it here. You don’t have to say who you are. We (those who visit will spend time here.) will pray for you.

From the Realm

2009-07-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

Fun from Pearce and Story

I feel that I was able to delve into who I was in doing this. Yes now with their help I can save a ton of cash on therapy.

Thank you dudes!

http://pearceandstory.blogspot.com/2009/07/versus.html

1) Movie theater Junior Mints vs. Movie theater Goobers
Junior Mints-Chocolate and mint duh this is an easy one.
Kevin rent from Red Box for a dollar and purchase candy at Walgreens for a dollar only two bucks for a nice movie night.

2) Trip to the Beach vs. Trip to the Mountains
I love the beach and my kids could spend the day on the sand. I’m allergic to the sun so I have to give in to itching and tossing my lunch. The mountains are my pick. I wanted to hike while in Alaska. God created both but a backpack is more me.

3) Elliptical Machine vs. Treadmill
Treadmill I love to run and miss it. I’m still working on the knee.

4) Spring vs. Autumn
Both are great but autumn has the wonderful smell of leaves and rest for the earth.

5) Milk Chocolate vs. Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate do I need to explain why?

6) Interstate vs. Scenic highway
Take the time to enjoy the road less traveled. It’s worth the journey

7) Savage tan vs. SPF50
SPF50 plus I don’t look like I’m almost 48 and I intend to keep it the way by staying out of the sun.

8) Being sad vs. Being scared
I’ve been scared a bit. ;-} In my life and it isn’t fun. Sadness is something I over come rather well.

9) 2 ten dollar bills vs. 1 twenty dollar bill
I want all of the money. But a larger bill makes you think more.

10) Birkenstocks vs. Crocks
I have crocks in 100 plus degrees they are hot so I want to try something new

11) Bad odor vs. Bad taste
I smell stinky people at work. I have fans blowing on me and at least once a day some stinky man stands in front of it. Plus some don’t worry about breath. However, I would have to taste something bad.

12) Ripped pants vs. Wet shirt
Wet shirt is easy to dry and I might win. ;-}

13) Belching vs. Flatulence
Come on a burp is easy to forgive and less embarrassing

14) Chicken salad sandwich vs. Tuna salad sandwich
Chicken salad when done right is so yummy. Walnuts, cranberries, etc. I know what I want for lunch

15) Classic styles vs. Trendy styles
Classic I’m too old to be trendy. Plus I never really was trendy. I’ve just gotta be me.

16) Old friend vs. New friend
Funny about this one both have been a blessing to me lately but the old one is a treasure to hold on to.

17) Dolphin vs. Porpoise
Dolphin I don’t know why. Could be becausse I've been closer to dolphins.

18) Water slide vs. Roller coaster
Roller coaster. I like the rush the ups and downs and the metaphor of life that comes to mind. Plus I don’t end up in a pool that other kids have warmed.

19) Jules Verne vs. Robert Louis Stevenson
Jules Verne is a must read. But I do like Stevenson.

20) Goatee vs. Soul Patch
Soul patch. So hot!

21) Being the recipient of a thoughtful gesture vs. Being the recipient of a compliment
Both are nice but when I’m given a gift I feel that I need to do something back and feel guilty when I can’t.

22) Nap on the couch vs. Nap in a hammock
Couch because a hammock means I’m sleeping outside during the day and I get sick and stuff.

23) Holidays vs. Vacation
Vacation because I get to explore a new world.

24) Aisle vs. Window
Window means I can see the world

25) Slapstick vs. Wit
Wit means you have intelligence

26) Logic vs. Emotion
You need balance on this one but I picked emotion.

27) Whipped cream vs. Cool Whip
Whipped cream taste is everything

28) High School Reunions vs. Family Reunions
I see my family a lot so high school, I was class clown, with the paper staff, yearbook photographer and assistant editor, a cheerleader (For a boy named Bill), and got along with all the groups in my class. I’d love to see them again.

29) ALF vs. ET
ALF the wit was great ET was odd.

30) Canadians vs. Australians
(Not taking sides)

31) Gifts vs. Gift Certificates
I’ve been burned so let me do the shopping and I’ll make it something special or needed.

32) Jet skiing vs. Water skiing
Because it’s a summer sport I’ll be in the cabin cooking for you folks

33) Yardwork vs. Housework
I’d love to do the yardwork but the summer is out. So it’s housework hmmm clearly I haven’t do either.

34) Ostentatious vs. Precocious
Precocious. Come on you have to know why

35) Phone call vs. Email
I love to talk. Kevin knows that. ;-} Those who encounter me at 6am know it. The guy on the help line for the cable company knows. I made him laugh. A good thing for a call center dude.
Call me.

36) Winning the lottery vs. Finding buried treasure
God let me know that I will not ever win the lottery or win at the casino. Buried treasure is an adventure. I’ll take the adventure anytime.

37) Sweating vs. Shivering
Shivering I’m a winter gal. I don't have a winter coat because I like being cold.

38) “Oh no, you di-unt.” vs. “Don’t even go there.”
“Oh no, you di-unt.” Its’ fun to say

39) Blue ink vs. Black ink
Blue is bold

40) Ukelele vs. Bag pipes
Bag pipes

41) Rainbows vs. Sunbeams
Sunbeams. I love to see them. However, sliding down the rainbow from the mist is a good thing.

42) The sound of your own voice vs. The way you look in photos
All the world is a stage and I want better lighting. The sound of me.

43) Extremely firm handshake vs. Extremely weak handshake
Firm a weak one is icky feeling

44) Runny nose vs. Nagging cough
I can blow my nose

45) Packing vs. Unpacking
Where am I going? Clearly from the way things look here packing.

46) A hole in the toe of your sock vs. A hole in the seat of your underwear
I can’t walk around with my toe poking out. I can cover my bottom with my pants and you can't see.

47) Zoos vs. Botanical gardens
Zoo. I love the Tulsa zoo it has a special place in my heart I took classes and so did my kids.

48) Trip to the dentist vs. Tax day
Dentist I’ve had a bit of work done and will need a bit more.

49) Awkward comment vs. Awkward silence
Awkward silence. Because I just made the comment and just letting it go is easier.

50) Too much Rich vs. Too little Rich
We love the Rich!

Wait a minute. Were #49 and #50 redundant?

No I said something that made everyone shut up.

Diabolical Genius said...
"Oh no, you di-unt." The first, but I'm sure not the last, preference for less Rich. This is obviously your lucky week then. ;-)Wasn't a real question. Just a thinly-veiled jab at the R-man. (Much like above.)Interesting that you prefer bad odor to bad taste, but belching over flatulence. You are an enigma shrouded in mystery and wrapped in a riddle, Milly. But the Diabolical Genius sees all.Not taking sides on Canadians vs. Australians? Hmm. So you clearly side with the Swiss then.More detailed analysis to come.

Oklahoma is hot!

2009-07-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

It's very hot here but at sea it's like that.

Cool Cool Alaska

2009-07-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

We are back in Oklahoma

I'll have a bunch more photos and things to say after I rest.

Mind Candy

2009-06-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading several books written by the same author, no, I won’t give the names of the books because they are “Mind candy”. You know the ones I’m talking about. You need not give a huge amount of care to the story. I do find myself enjoying these quick reads. One thing that has occurred to me as I read these fictional history books is that we don’t enjoy touch the way that we use to. A simple act of touching ones hand when a man would hand a lady an object sent a thought of passion though them. Think of the last time you washed dishes with your loved one. Try to leave the dishwasher out of it and do them the old fashioned way. A glance, a touch, and a shared conversation.

Don’t worry I’m reading others also. One is so deep that I need time to relax and process. My son enjoys the subject so I have him to discuss the issues with. I’ve cried over what happened and felt like putting my fist into a wall at times. So “Mind Candy” helps me to not climb in and hang out for too long.

Books have always been a huge thing in my family. They are handed down from generation to generation. I read less them my siblings and I read every day. We love those pages and devour those words. I usually have two to three books in the works. Having just finished one a few moments ago I’m about to start another. Hmmmm more “Mind Candy”? What to do!

I love to talk about the books that I and other have read and I love haring those I enjoy. I suppose that comes with the love of those wonders.

We discuss them at work.

The other night we were talking about books when one of my coworkers said that she loved Twilight. I couldn’t hold back on how I feel about those things. I don’t like the glorifying of evil. She pointed out that vampires aren’t real. I told her About Vlad the Impaler, he wasn’t the blood sucking vampire that legend has made him out to be. I hate that satan has cleverly woven himself into books that our teens love. I don’t have any Harry Potter books in my home because my son doesn’t want to read them. He won’t want those Twilight ones either.

One of my regular guys to visit me no matter where they put me at work asked me

“Do you read?”

“Yep I’m one of them educated women.”

“Then I’ll bring ya a book.”

He went to his truck for the book.
When he handed it to me he told me that he was in it.
I can’t wait to read it. He’s a car guy, one that would make Salgoud feel at home. I wonder if that’s what they wrote about him.

I feel blessed to have been raised by people who love books.
I love that I have friends who enjoy them.
I’m thankful that God has given me the time to read.

Need Help

2009-06-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Can anyone suggest a free good security for my dad's computer?

Face it

2009-05-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my dad threw another fish fry. I’m not sure how many people were there but I guesstamated at around 50. Many were faces that I hadn’t seen in years several I didn’t know.

Faces are awesome and a blessing from God.

When my cousin, a professional wildlife photographer, said he wanted his wife and I to pose together she asked if he would remove the wrinkles.

I looked over at Miss M. and smiled.

Look at that face and those hands.

Hands that feed children who wanted to grow up too fast or needed love.

Hands that taught them how to cook a meal for children to come.

I wonder how many young people went home and proudly showed a parent that they could cook and clean.

Look at her face, I know I did when I ran away from home that one and only time. . .all that way up the hill for love, a coke, and candy then to be sent home.

How many children did that sweet smile comfort when they felt lost?

I look at that face and hold those hands and feel blessed.

No, I won’t be doing much to stop the lines from my face that God had blessed me with.

Don't worry be happy

2009-05-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

Cool quote from a third grader:

This one is sure makes one that I overheard a third grader say. Pregnant women can’t drive.
I had no idea did you?

I may have missed a bit of it because they didn’t use a sound system.

It’s not what we did in the past, it’s not what we will do in the future, it’s what comes from within.

A nice bit of awesomeness today!

***Keep reading**********************I have more to say***

Luke 12:22-34 (Today's New International Version)

Do Not Worry 22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

27 "Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

32 "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I needed to hear this one today.

It’s cool how God rolls like that. I opened an email and there it is Don’t worry be happy.

The rain is tapping on the window I have music playing softly. I have to be at Miss Littles’ school soon but for now God is whispering to me Do not be afraid.

Life is good today and the sun came out to play.

2009-05-06T14:50:00.000-07:00

I have laundry to tackle, and a house to clean, and the car is a disaster

But life is good

Yesterday the news wasn’t so bad from my son’s surgeon and we are cautiously optimistic

I took the ladies to Michaels last night to make mother’s day projects

One of Miss Littles friends is over for tea fun

One former friend wants to play with them but she was ugly to Miss Littles so the ladies told her they wouldn’t play with her anymore. Setting the differences aside my daughter invited her to play so giggles makeovers on the porch. What a great thing to do. Miss Littles has shown a lot of love for people by taking each day as a new.

On a very down side one of my guys, a regular customer, needs prayers. His wife has three kids of cancer and isn’t taking chemo well. He’s not feeling well and is showing signs of stress. One of the things he has can be caused by stress, it happened to me

Quote for life

2009-04-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.

Louis L'Amour

It takes a lot from those who are involved. I'm working on myself and my children. When we hit a wall or find a problem I ask "How could (I) you have handled that situation better.

We are learning to change or mindsets. We still mishandle situations but we are trying.

Back and read this

2009-04-20T07:34:00.000-07:00

The boy is back in school!

He's not happy to be but I am glad to see him on a cane and back in school.

For some tear jerk'n reading

http://notassweetasiusedtobe.blogspot.com/

Ok so I cry.
If Danny still read us he'd cry I think I'll send it to him

DIVORCE*D

2009-04-13T18:15:00.001-07:00

I'm divorced now

It is unacceptable!

2009-04-07T15:17:00.000-07:00

Nearly one in five women over the age of eighteen who are married or in a similar relationship reported being emotionally or physically abused by a male partner.

I wanted to grab a galvanized pipe today when I saw a friend’s arms. She was telling me how her husband went off on her while putting lotion on her arms. I could see his hand prints on her arms.

I could feel the rage in me grow.

Why do these men think that a bad sex night or a disagreement is a reason to hurt verbally and physically?

She’s afraid.

She’s confused.

I told her that I was the same way when I came to the conclusion that my marriage was over.
I told her that I couldn’t tell anyone for a while but that I would sit in the sound booth and cry while “G” did almost all the work. He tells me he didn’t notice.
I cried on my way to work a lot.

No one could see it.

I remember the moment that I knew I had to get out and the day I made a call for an attorney.

I think she needs to find the bottom before she gets out.

I pray the he doesn’t kill her.

I pray that she can take his words and toss them away.

It‘s hard but it can be done.

Get out and get help if you are in an abusive relationship!

Heroes in my life

2009-04-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Man my son is a strong guy!

Today in PT one of the nice ladies asked how the surgeon’s visit went. I know my look to her told a lot my son explained it in such a grown up way. I want to cry scream and yell but here is this young man holding it together.

I’ve told him that he could yell and cry if he needed to when we left the doctor’s office. Yesterday after the news we met up with my dad and sister for lunch. They had questions but neither of us wanted to talk about it. The fact that he was telling her today was a good sign to me because I knew he understands what could be happening to his body. It was devastating to hear that the little white strip on the films is a sign of restricted blood flow. I don’t doubt the doctor because I hear that he is the best around. I felt speechless as I looked in the doctor’s blue eyes thinking say something better. He didn’t say that the ball is going to die for sure. Miracles I want them.

If you have the time pop over to my sis-n-law's blog to see another wonderful person God has in my life

http://notassweetasiusedtobe.blogspot.com/

It’s going to be a crazy week

2009-03-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

. . . so I thought I might need to say something before it takes off.

My dad will be in the hospital
&
My son will get news from his surgeon

Peace and prayers are needed.
Life is about change and adapting. God has given us the tools needed and so I will use them no matter the path.

Some days I want to chase butterflies.
I want to dance in the rain
I want to sleep and dream
I want to lay in the green grass and day dream the day away
But alas my alarm sounds and I get to living in the real world.

I hope you have a nice week full of good wishes

Book of Face

2009-03-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

I have a facebook and I have very little idea of what to do with it.

If you know I have one and have read it then you can see that I connected with an old friend.
I haven’t seen him in over twenty years. Too cool to see him in photo again.

Bits of Tulsa History

2009-03-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

The Waterworks Art Studio

Miss Littles took an art class across from this home. I’ve grown up wondering about this place and I’m happy to see that I can take a tour of the cave house. It was said to be built as a restaurant/ speak-easy. But there is no proof because the secret door can’t be found. The place has been there since the 1920’s. I hear it’s haunted. I also hear that Pretty Boy Floyd like the place.

http://cavehousetulsa.com/index.html

I don't work very far from the art studio so I took some time to explore. I'll be looking taking more photos of the places that caught my eye in the future.

This is the oldest house in Tulsa still in existence. It sure tells us how much we don't need to live.

eight days and standing

2009-03-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

I thought that I needed to let those who care know that I’m still out and about in this crazy world but I really don’t have much to say or time to say it.

My son is bugging me because he wants this computer and I have yet to cook dinner. Pasta so no big deal but I need to get it going.

I just finished day eight at work so I’m fried and my knee is a bit sore. I kind of lost it over one of the department heads attitude I’ve gone to the first level then the second then the third and this week’s incident sent me over the edge so I went to the next level. I must have looked rather miffed when the ASM walked by because when I said I wanted to talk to him when he had time he stopped and came right to me. He listed and assured me he’d talk to him. Today I made that same department head deal with an issue by standing my ground. The person he asked about it stood her ground so he had to do it. I doubt he did the right thing but I still stood my ground. One small win for me. :-}

Life is about knowing when to stand your ground and knowing when to walk away isn’t it?

Good Ride Cowboy

2009-03-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

Psalm 23

(New International Version)

A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Ed without knowing it you were a part of my teen life.

A high school friend is hurting so much today. Her dad died. I didn’t know him well at all but he was a part of our lives because she made him so.

I met my friend because I was wearing children’s Mickey Mouse sun glasses at night. They were so cool! When I turned my head Mickey ran to the other side. Well not really it just looked that way. So one night I walked up to some kids from high school and she was there. Who could resist getting to know the odd chic in Mickey sun glasses? We hit it off right away and have tried to stay in touch for all the many years that have passed.

I couldn’t make it to the services because of several reasons one being the drive would kill my knee. I wanted to be there but I also know that you just don’t care when it’s your loved one. I ached for her this morning because I remember hating that morning knowing what was at hand when mom died.

Back to Ed.

He was Ed to us, that’s what she called him. We heard about him often “Old Ed”.
Well Ed you raised a good daughter and you were a huge part of us.
I thank you for having lunch with me a couple of years ago.

May the wind be at your back and the horses in Heaven give you a good ride Cowboy.

When we cross that river Jordan,With St Peter on the other side
Singin' Good Ride Cowboy,
Good Ride!
Say Good Ride Cowboy,
Good Ride!

I’m going to head something up at my church . . .

2009-03-05T18:53:00.000-08:00

. . . .at some point

With this comes a confession and I confessed it last Sunday to my new/old minister. He was the associate minister but now is the lead minister because my minister stepped down for a church plant.

I want to put cardboard testimonies on in my church. U Tube it is you aren’t sure what it is. We had a time line but with the broken son, knee work, and the minister who was going to help me stepping in to the lead position it was put off.

Milly gives a sigh of relief.

My confession that led to me realizing how much I need those folks at my church and how God talks to me.

So I’m in the shower thinking of the testimonies and how powerful it is I started thinking about my testimony after all I was putting this thing together and I would need to have a good one. What could I say about me?

How has God impacted my life?

Me
Me
My
My
I
I
I
Oh snap!!!!!
Bam!
Milly this isn’t about you!

Just thinking about testimonies has led me down a path of realizing how self centered I am. I’m not all bad I also thought about those in my church who have been there for me. One man in my church was stricken with a horrible painful illness, something like Preacherman suffers from. When he first came back he spotted me and smiled I walked over to him to see how he was. We shared a painful hug for him, I could see it his face but only for a brief moment. He pointed to me and said “I’ve been praying for you.” Me! Wow! This man is in pain every moment. He has small boys who are always on the move. He can’t go out and toss a ball with them because of the pain. He comes up to the booth to see me. from time to time and listens to me and gives advice. I love him and his wife. I’ve had several people tell me that they are praying for me and my children even in the face of their hardships. I know that it shouldn’t floor me I pray for them. It touches my heart.

My testimony isn’t written yet but when it is I know that it will be about God not me.

I confessed to the minister and his wife that I was thinking of me and how I could make it an impactful testimony. They laughed with me for my failings after all I'm not the only one who might go down that path of learning.

My God let me know that I was wrong for that. . . .and He loves me.

Is this in your face?

2009-03-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

It is in mine

James 3:9-12 (New International Version)

9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[a] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

How can we praise God and teach others about Jesus and then spew hate for the guy who cut you off in traffic?

It’s in my face this week because I’ve been a bit unhappy with someone. I’ve been reading a couple of blogs that have post on finding forgiveness and needed it is. Darn if not only are we to find forgiveness but we can’t speak ill of them and by real definition we aren’t even to think ill of them. THAT IS JUST TOO HARD!!!! I wanted to wait after reading this and hearing James 3:9-12 after all I’m not ready yet. I will be soon but not yet.

So I can wait right?

In my face!

God doesn’t wait he forgives me the moment I ask. . .Before I ask.

I’m not saying that we should be a doormat . . . no I won’t be that.

I’m saying that God commands us to forgive because He knows that we need to. When we hold grudges we let it grow, it hurts us not the offender. That’s a hard one isn’t it? They have hurt us and they know it and they just don’t give a damn. But we are the ones who have to let it go because it’s . . . good for us.

Have I forgiven all of those hurts? No not yet but I do feel in time I will. I will work hard at not speaking ill of those who do hurt those I love. And in not speaking ill of them I might have less to forgive.

Inside my knee

2009-02-26T15:02:00.000-08:00

Dr. Kevin released me this week. I can drive as long as I’m careful and not on narcotics. I don’t get why? ;-}

It’s back to work for me.

I thought ya’ll might like to see what the inside of a wrecked knee looks like. I’m trying to post the video of the work he did on me but it won’t load. Dr. Kevin isn’t just one of the best he’s a darn nice man and a Christian.

Affairs Part Twa (2)

2009-02-23T11:36:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all for the comments but you all seemed to miss some aspects of an affair.

People cheat in different ways and suex ain’t always it.

We have the guy who gets drunk and finds a one night moment. Some will sober up and wonder what happened and how they ended up there. Some will continue to do it over and over again when they can.

One comment was that women deny the man.

Not always in fact some women enjoy it. In fact we are freer to enjoy it because of women’s rights.

Yet men still cheat.

Why do they cheat??

Because they can’t find happiness within themselves and they want their spouse to create it over and over again. When the discontent continues they find a new thing to play with. When they see what they are going to lose they may want to try again but the same thing will happen because they can’t find happiness in another they will find another woman to stroke their ego and for a brief time they will be happy until the spouse gets her fill of it.

Suex doesn’t need to be involved in this affair. The affair is about finding happiness. Some find that the home, spouse, and kids are a prison not a blessing. It’s sad that they can find a full heart when they see how blessed they are.

Even Christians have affairs. You would think that a Christian would see the blessing laid at his feet. They just don’t.

I live, for now, in a very nice home but that’s not a blessing not at all. I will soon move into a smaller home. That one will be a blessing. It’s going to be a blessing because of the love I have been given. Because I will be free of those chains of discontent from a man who couldn’t see what he had.

I think that people stray for different reasons not because they are men.

When you put yourself over your family, when you put your needs over everything that you should be holding near and dear, when you fail to put God first, you lose everyone and everything.

So folks the next time you think of straying call an attorney and ask him how much it will cost you.

And I mean honestly cost you and your children.

Then . . .

Stop using the excuses of being male. .

Pick up your bible, fall to your knees, and pray for a path to healing your relationships.

From KB's Blog a bit of fun

2009-02-20T12:15:00.001-08:00

Type into Google "______ needs" or "______ likes" with quotation marks, putting your name in the blank. Type in the first 10 "_____ needs" type statements you find.

1. Milly likes poppies (It's true I do)

2. Milly likes to play (If it isn't gonna hurt much)

3. Milly likes to rearrange her furniture and clean her whole suite daily (Bloody Heck No!)

4. Milly likes buttons, but she doesn’t like bows (Bows or too fussy)

5. Milly likes treats (yep bring um on)

6. Milly likes to come into the office to see her uncle Tony (I have an uncle Tony!)

7.Milly still likes to guess what's in each egg (I might be right someday!)

8.Milly likes to tire me (I can't help it if I'm fun)

9. Milly likes to use big words for simple ideas (It makes me seem smarter)

10. Milly's wish to do simply as she likes demands (It's true)

1.Milly needs to lose some weight and get healthier before her surgery. (Too late now)

2.Milly needs a wheelchair (Got one)

3.Milly's needs to change somethin. (Sing'n to the choir)

4.Milly needs him to avert the future war (All I am say'n is give peace a chance)

5.Milly needs to cross the line (See others agree)

6.Milly needs to be apprehended (Darn they know)

7.Milly needs is an iced coffee and a different hat, and I'd hardly notice her walking past me on the sidewalk (They won't find me now)

8. Milly needs to see the vet, sooner rather than later (Sat next to one today and had a nice conversation)

9.MILLY NEEDS THE DOG WHISPER OR A COUPLE OF SWATS (Hey! Not nice!)

10.It's so touching to read about how you anticipate Milly's every need and make sure things (It is thank you)

Kneed

2009-02-17T15:31:00.000-08:00

Yep that's my knee

Friday the 13th went well for me. My dad took me to the surgical hospital for my knee. They got me in rather quickly so the anesthesiologist and I decided not to go with the pill to relax me. The other reasons are that I was rather relaxed plus I don’t wake up easily. I was wheeled to an operating room then put under. Waking up is always so odd. This time it was as if the world was getting bad reception. I wondered if I couldn’t move some rabbit ears around to stop the world from rolling. Not spinning rolling. The nurse fussed about injecting things into my IV as my dad sat next to me. I tried to stay quiet. At least I think I did. The man next to me was feeling no pain at all and found everything funny. The nurse rattled off the orders and they wheeled me to dad’s truck. Thank goodness that she gave us written orders because when my sister asked us we were clueless as to what we were to do and when.

I did have trouble keeping food down even liquids wanted out. My tummy wakes up slowly. On funny moment came when I was sure that I was going to throw up. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to make it to the bathroom on crutches and pain pills. My sister jumped up and rushed to the kitchen getting caught on her sweat pants and sliding. We had visions of her falling like a boy with a broken hip. I was horrified and stranded with a mouth full of (You get the picture). Dad yelled cup and I grabbed the one in front of me. My sister came limping in with a bowl and I finished. After making sure she was ok and brushing my teeth we all laughed. Can you imagine?
My son on a walker
Me on crutches
Her all broken
My dad can’t get too far that he doesn’t need to sit
Miss Littles would have to take care of us. Poor Miss Littles!
Thankfully sis was only a bit bruised

I spent a few days hanging with dad and sis as they took care of me and the kids. Love the dad and sis.

My knee isn’t as swollen today and I have cleaned it off.

The tumor was removed and has been downgraded to a cyst. The meniscus was cleaned up. Some arthritis removed

Something was tightened and something was loosened.

He moved my knee.

He told my dad that he moved my knee.

Ok did my knee need to be moved?

I had no idea that it was in the wrong place apparently I was living in the dark on that one.

Thanks to all who have kept us in prayer.

I’m hanging out and reading stuff so don’t be surprised if I show up with a comment.

a life time. . .

2009-02-12T15:43:00.000-08:00

There’s a million things that I should be doing tonight.
Worship slides
house work
packing for my dad’s
talking to God
writing thank you notes
but here I am posting.....

I haven’t finished the worship slides because I haven’t started them yet. I’m not sure what the picture theme will be yet. I’ll know it when I get there.

I need to tidy up the house so that it won’t be such a chore when I am laying around.
The kids and I are hanging out with my dad for a few days while I recover a bit. He’s a good daddy and was always great at taking care of me and the kids when we were sick.
We always need our special God time.

I owe a few folks note of thanks. Some for bringing church to us one Sunday night. If you know the church that I attend the guy playing the guitar are sitting in my family room. One of my friends brought us dinner one night. And several have called and sent notes. It’s great to have a church family. If you doubt the value of having one come hang with us for a while, we’ll show you.

The biggest reason that I love my job is because I love the people and I love seeing how they react to life. The social psychology major want-a-be comes out in me . Most of the time the theater major is preforming.

One man now grumbles at me and really doesn’t look at me anymore since I turned him down for a date, I think it makes his friend happy because he smiles big when he mumbles as he walks past me. I do feel bad but now way no how.

One man seeks me out so that I can wait on him and chat. He’s a nice older man.
One man has backed off because he found out that I’m a Christian. He hasn’t asked me to seek off for an affair all week. He still talks to me a bit and they are much better conversations.

People are interesting some sad some angry like the woman who was on her cell phone the whole time I was helping her refusing to pay attention to me. I get that a lot because we are a contractor store. These guys work hard and they need to make every moment count. When one of the men’s hotdog threw up relish and onions in a big splat I felt that I should warn the woman that she was going to step in it and might fall. She turned and gave me a nasty look but I still kept on guard. She then looked at the rather large for a hotdog sized pile of relish and onions and just missed it. Sis she take the phone from her ear and thank me? Did she mouth thank you? Did she get me a thumb up? No she gave me a nasty look and walked out.

I cleaned up the mess. And yes the guy apologized and offered to clean it up himself.

Sometimes I wonder about people.

Miss Littles has a very runny nose today so we have tissues piling up. It hasn’t stopped her from roller skating all over the house. Yes I’m that kind of parent. She’s not the one who fell and broke a hip. The one running from Miss Littles did that.

I have been peeking in on ya’ll and have from time to time had a bit to say. Golly time seems to rush away from us.

I called an old friend the other day. Life hasn’t been kind to her then again she hasn’t been kind to life at times. I hate that she is so ill and that her daughter is no longer in her life. I do miss her.
I wish my friend who is embarking on a new path nothing but a great life.

A great life. . .
What is that?
It’s sorrow and love it’s life real life.
It’s sitting in front of your home and loving those in it.
It’s knowing your mistakes and being honest enough to say the out loud
It’s learning and correcting
It’s a life led by God
It’s seeking Jesus with your family and in the darkness of yourself
It’s what I have

Do you?

An old friend stopped by

2009-02-06T14:09:00.000-08:00

Today I heard from DugALug
If you haven't read his blog please take the time to do so.
He and his wife have written some heart touching words.

DugALug we will all continue to pray for you and your family!

http://firstflite.blogspot.com/

Inspiration

2009-01-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

I haven’t felt that inspired lately. Things around here are edgy or something. See what I mean very little inspiration.

I’m sitting at the dining room table working on the summer Disney scrapbook. I’ve lost the C in escape, I suppose it did just that. Poor lost C. I lost the dot on an i but it still seems fine.

To fill you in on things that have sucked it out of me:

My aunt is in the hospital, surgery to remove a large amount of her intestine.
My son broke his hip.
My dad is doing well but still has me on edge.
Someone in my family has Crohn’s and isn’t looking too well.
I’m having my knee worked on in February.

My friend's cancer isn't gone.
That divorce thing
I’ve lost my temper with my boss twice this last week. He’s a man so he keeps saying stupid stuff like “I know you’re a bit stressed.” And “What’s this all about?” MEN!!!!!
I had a two day migraine.

I spent some time in the car today with God crying and talking. I talked a lot about me and how He should be helping me. He let me know that he was. Yes it is about me right now because it’s my blog and I write about me and when I need to lean I need to lean. So He told me that He was right next to me with His shoulder for crying and His arms for holding. And after all, my aunt came through surgery. My attorney has made me laugh and is a Christian. My son had the best surgeon around and is making me laugh every day. My daddy is taking care of us and doing a great job and he is still with us. They found Crohn’s before it was too bad. My surgeon is a good one and a Christian. He promised to pray for my son. I’m having my knee fixed after dealing with the pain. Insurance company willing. ;-}

I may have lost a friend but I still have lots of friends who really love me.

Still I don’t want to get up too early Saturday morning. I think I’ve earned it and I did complete four pages of the scrapbook.

Inspiration?

After eight please.

I think I need to find my Bible and keep talking to God.

Winter you have arrived

2009-01-27T15:23:00.000-08:00

Just Chill'n tonight.

It's cold and sleeting/snowing/freezing rain stuff.

I made it to and from work with ease today.

I drive rather well in this stuff. It's about respecting each others space and going just the right speed.

Just like life. ;-}

The boy is doing well and doing a bit more on his own.

Miss Littles is herself as always so life is good tonight.

If only dinner would show up on its own then all would be grand at the homestead.

Update on my kid

2009-01-22T17:44:00.000-08:00

My son has two pins in him and is resting at home. I have been making calls and trying to arrange PT and homebound for his schoolwork, I threatened to make a call to the person who runs the school district. The poor nice lady on the line asked me about paperwork. Paperwork! I could get the person in charge of that department to call me back. The paperwork is now to be faxed to the surgeon, I’m told he is the best. I pray that the blood flow stayed strong.

He is resting at home now we moved the bed to the family room so that he would have to sleep in my bed, it’s a bit tall and so the he could hang out with us during the day. He is in good spirits and makes me laugh a lot.

I will admit that I hit the wall today. My boss was being a jerk and when he said a real stupid thing to me I went off. I know that I shouldn’t have but I did. He looked at me and said I know you’re under a bit of stress because you normally would have talked that way to me. I raised my voice again and said a bit of stress are you kidding me! We are cool now but I shed a few tears on the way home.

The boy shows me a lot of strength every day. We have some pretty funny moments around here.

Please pray that the blood flow is strong and he only faces having the pins out.
God has him in His hands.

Thank you to those who have been lifting us up to Him.

Please pray

2009-01-18T14:57:00.000-08:00

Please pray for my son he fell and broke his hip.
Doctor number 1 missed it and sent him to another doctor the next day.
He missed the 8 hour window and now we won't know if the ball will make it.
It will take months to know.

Because Chic asked

He slipped on his pants while being chased by his sister. No he doesn’t wear his pants low like some of the kids. He was in those lounge kind of pants. His hip met the ceramic tile. The first doctor, a well know one in this area for sports medicine, Olympic medicine at that, didn’t do x-rays instead he sent him to a specialist. The appointment was the next day. That doctor took on look at him and sent him to x-ray then called 911.

Guess Who is 9!?!

2009-01-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

MISS LITTLES!

I'm so glad to have you in my life!

My minister did the coolest thing last Sunday.

2009-01-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

I had to take a fresh battery to him before he hit the pulpit/stage, after running around looking for him, being told to go in the wrong direction thanks to Greg. (What was I thinking listening to him?) thank God for tall men to point me in the right direction, way to hide in plain sight, I gave him the battery. He seemed shaky but it was almost go time and I had just given him a task right before. He sat in the pew then looked up at us. We try to focus on the players at hand in case they have a change of plans and need us to do something. The sermon is in the computer and notes are at hand it’s almost go time and he is staring at us. My cohort mumbles about the fact that he is looking at us. I whisper something back about it.

He came up to the booth with a slip of paper and two lines of notes on it. The scriptures are loaded I make sure the picture is changed because they weren’t right for the mood and they were too light.

He preached from the heart. I needed to hear it and I know the many others did. The sermon was real and personal. It touched me. It’s sort of sad that not everyone knows that it wasn’t planned.

My minister plans to the last detail on his sermons. He’s easy to follow when you are doing slides as long as you are awake. I’m still waiting for my Starbucks.

I love it when God leads

What a wonderful gift for the new year from God

2009-01-02T15:13:00.000-08:00

I woke to hear Canadian geese on the pond or were they at the window. What a great sound at six am. I don’t have a photograph of the first sunrise of 2009 but I can assure you it was a pretty one. It painted the sky in orange and turquoise. I wished for a Starbucks as I drove to the church to pick up my son. He brought in his new year with friends.
I spent the night at my dad’s house with a friend and family. We played games all night. I have to note that I had been up since four in the morning. I still say that a cutter worm exists.

We enjoyed a nice dinner of cabbage, black-eyed peas, and cornbread. I eat them more to honor my ancestors. But if I have good luck and money I won’t argue. It’s one of my favorite meals. So it’s a great way to start the day.

As I carried our thing to the car I was greeted by the geese I love hearing them talk to each other as they fly, two straggles had me smiling as I watched them trying to catch the others.

The sunset lit the whole sky so I had to take these photographs.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Jeremiah 29: 11-14 NIV

Ahhh !!!!!

2008-12-30T16:46:00.000-08:00

That’s right yesterday was a nutty day so having an uneventful day today was very nice.

I work in a home improvement store for those who don’t know. Yesterday a guy tipped a can of paint into a SCO machine. Note to dude mixing paint: The mallet is to pound the lid down. Yepper the thing was full of paint. One down. I go to lunch, eat, and come back to the mess still there. It requires special handling so I wasn’t allowed to clean it up. Note to self: Get the training. While that one was down one of the others decided to freeze. Two down. This freezes the main. A guy comes up with items with no code and presents them to me. I tell him that I can’t look it up because I have no screen. He leaves. Three down. And I should add that the frozen one is waiting for me to put a check in the printer. A woman is holding her check out for me. I can’t process it and send her to the desk. Four down. I trouble shoot the printer but that isn’t the problem. Oh and I should also add that Monday is the new black Friday. I shut the computer down on the frozen one. Sorry to those computer folks but I had to do it hard and fast. It shuts down unfreezing my main and I start untangling the mess. I called to get back up to help with the lines and didn’t get an answer so I went to hang up the phone it falls through the hanger and hits the floor. I must have laughed because those poor folks around me laugh also.

At one point I have a huge line so someone calls for back up. My HC leans over what I call the fence and said “Why is she calling for back up?” I look over and see that I am the only one with a line. We both laugh and send folks to the regular registers. Ok so one man was angry. I’m sorry but I tried to warn him that I wasn’t going to be able to help when he first came up.

On the up side one of my favorite men came over to see me. I got a quick hug and went back to work. This man is a nice Christian man who checks on me when he comes in.

After work I did what every mom has to do. I went grocery shopping at Target. I made the mistake of trying to check out. Something may or may not have gone wrong with the woman who had a huge amount of cloths and her credit application and going over and something that was going to take awhile to untangle. I grumble. I’ll admit it, I had a long day at work all I wanted to do was check out and go home to cook. Ok I really wanted to go to Starbuck’s and chat with a friend. I turn to the lady behind me and let her know it was going to be awhile, she cool with it because she was waiting for someone. I move to the register that the girl that may or may not have made the mistake telling a man to please for me go in front of me. He had a toothbrush and toothpaste so me going first was silly. The first thing that I said to the young lady who was checking me out was “It’s my fault.” She laughed and apologized. As we heard the lady complain about the girl I explained that it was my karma. We laugh about my day. I hope that she wasn’t too stressed because they were still trying to fix the problem when I left.

Lesson learned we all make mistakes from lids on cans to causing bad karma in Target. But how we treat each other is key.

No I don’t believe in karma, I just believe that we owe it to each other to be good and if you can make someone laugh in the face of their crises of the day, that is golden.

What sparks your Christmas Spirit?

2008-12-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

I can tell you that I am so over hearing Christmas music at work. I am over seeing people purchasing Christmas decorations with a grim look and a grumble on their lips. Miss Littles has had two chats with Santa’s helpers. We are done with that for the year.

At the work Christmas party I won OU stuff and a Larry The Cable Guy video. I returned everything but the OU hat, my son said he’d wear it. I used the store credit for things my daughter needed and The Santa Claus videos. The kids and I watched two of them that night, I feel asleep during the second so opted to watch the third another night.

So what sparks me?

Not being at the mall on THE BUSIEST DAY of the year. Yiks. I took a number for one the stores then went into another to return something. I came back and waited for them to call my number.

What gave me the spark?

Today’s production gave me a spark. The production was simple making it even better. The cast was small making it more realistic. It was real and it was great. Miss Littles did a great job with her speaking parts and solo. She was a beautiful angel. Mary added the real part by exploring her nose on stage and she fell. Don’t worry nose and body were fine. I had to smile at one of the wise men as he sat on stage because he sat like a typical boy.

What most of the audience didn’t know is that the kids hadn’t all been together for rehearsals once. They didn’t see me and the other ladies years before making angel costumes to hand down for years to come. They didn’t see us trying to fit squirmy children. They missed out on the typing of the production so that the children would have the words when needed. They missed out on the rehearsals, the patience of my sister and the lady who puts it all together. They didn’t note that the program was thought out by the art department so that parents could save it for year to come. (That’s a team of two one being me). They didn’t see the tears from stage fright, he managed to stand on stage for a while with a pep talk from my sister. They didn’t see us in the booth working to make things go as smoothly as we could control.

What gives me the spark?

Knowing that my children know why we celebrate the birth of Christ at this time of year and knowing that they will celebrate every day.

God gave us a wonderful gift that night and at this time we pause to remember how important that baby is for us.

From KBs place

2008-12-15T18:44:00.000-08:00

Directions: Copy the list to your blog, put an asterisk next to the things you have done in your life, and then pass it on to others in your blog - and let me know if you do! Also feel free to add a couple at the end, if you like.. I added a few.

*1. Started your own blog
*2. Slept under the stars
*3. Played in a band
*4. Visited Hawaii
*5. Watched a meteor shower
*6. Given more than you can afford to charity
*7. Been to Disneyworld
*8. Climbed a mountain
*9. Held a praying mantis
*10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
*14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
*16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
*18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
*21. Had a pillow fight
*22. Hitch hiked (Kind of)
*23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
*24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
*27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
*29. Seen a total eclipse
*30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
*35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
*37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
*41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
*45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
*47. Had your portrait painted - drawn I think that counts!
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
*51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
*52. Kissed in the rain
*53. Played in the mud
*54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
*57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
*60. Served at a soup kitchen
*61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
*63. Got flowers for no reason
*64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
*69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (book!)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
*75. Been fired/laid off from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
*78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
*82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
*84. Had your picture in the newspaper
*85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
*88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
*91. Met someone famous
*92. Joined a book club
*93. Lost a loved one
*94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
*97. Been involved in a law suit
*98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (I have been stung by a wasp)
100. Seen Mount Rushmore in person
*101. Learned to play an instrument
102. Kissed the Blarney Stone
*103. Ridden a camel
104. Been to an underground church meeting
105. Ate pizza in New York City
106. Preached a sermon
107. Visited someone in jail

I'm here!

2008-12-15T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm still here but wicked busy. I have been checking on ya'll

Her Heart

2008-12-04T15:14:00.000-08:00

Tell me if I’m right or wrong

2008-11-21T12:09:00.000-08:00

I’m bringing this up because I’m just having a hard time believing that this can be true.

I have spoken with men and women gay and straight and I’ve been told the same thing. I find it hard to believe it but when I defend those who I think would never feel this way I’m told that I’m dead out wrong all of you have it in you.

Men are designed to cheat.

I don’t think God created them that way. I can list several men that I don’t think would ever cheat on their wives or girl friends. I think that some do think about it but they would never ever do it. I don’t think that you all think about it because you love and respect your ladies.

If it is true then we are to accept that men will cheat on us! We just need to shut up and allow it. I never wanted to do that to my husband or my family. I never want to be with a man who will do that to us.

Tell me if I’m right or wrong.

It’s cold and damp put and I’d love to be in my Pjs right now.

2008-11-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

I can’t say much these days perhaps because I have little to say right now.
I thought I’d post some thoughts though.

Some things you might not know about me.

Monkeys freak me out, but I love sock monkeys.
I love to daydream.
I wear bifocals, no line I’m not that old.
I think it’s cool when friends insist I read a book they love.
Especially if they have underlined the parts that move them.
I want to be more talented but seem to have very little time to be.
I worry about people when I don’t see or hear from them for a while.
I pray that they are fine.
I love to watch old movies.
I think that there are movies that are a must to watch before you die. Some day I’ll try to list them.
I have a lot of bottles of water in my car. I have an idea of why but still.
I may have found the best pancakes but a coworker tells me different. I’ll keep you posted as I search.
I think that when you dream you should dream big and small always reaching and always obtaining.
I hate that my knee is wrecked and that I will need to see a specialist, I want to run again and not feel pain.
I believe in true love and know that I might find it someday.
I seek Him
I love art
I crave the opera
I squished an ant yesterday.
I like cats but I think that not all cats are the same so some need to live away from me.
I love snakes.
We have a mouse at work and I have named him. I hope they don’t catch him
I think soup is important to your well being so eat some.
I have a lot to say a lot of the time.
If I tell you I love you I mean it.

It's game night and they are waiting.

Have a happy!

It's all. . .

2008-11-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

It’s really an amazing thing life and how our world within us works.
A tragedy struck hard for one of my coworkers. If you are from Ohio you’ll most likely know the wreck. His lose was a hard one and yet today he showed me how life finds a way, a new baby was born. Just as he was counting his loses and praying for those still recovering and wondering if . . .a baby is born. God’s reminder that life is still here for us. Still today was resting hard on him. I could see it and offered a hug and words. Those words are just that they remove none of the pain.

Pain is pain.

Life is hard . . .that’s the way it is. I’ve never met anyone who said that it was a free ride.
I have a theory.

If things were easy then we wouldn’t appreciate. We wouldn’t appreciate the good because it’s all good. No one would yell at me at work because everything ran smoothly. They made no mistakes it’s all good.

No marriage would fail it’s all good
No child dies it’s all good.
No heart stops it’s all good.
No child to go hungry it’s all good.
Money is nothing to worry about it’s all good.

Men honor their commandments it’s all good.

But this is earth and it’s not all good. . .we make mistakes.
We fail.
Death happens.
We hunger.
We need.
We want.
Dishonor is within.

Blood was shed for us and someday. . .
it’s all Heaven.

A song is ringing in my head today.

2008-11-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

You take the good you take the bad and there you have the facts of life.

Church was great this morning I felt the songs and enjoyed the minister. One of the men could see it in my eyes and I could see it in his as he took my hand to his cheek. Sadness. It’s hard to hide it some days but we try. His wife is ill, just getting to church is hard for the two of them. I adore those people.

I’ll come out stronger my children won’t.

Good you ask?

Where is the good?

I have wonderful people, some take my hand to their faces when I hug them. They show me thir eyes, the eyes of Jesus.

I received a call tonight saying that my dad had gone forward. My heart stopped and panic set in I began to question my cousin as to where they had taken him. She said no he is going forward in church. my dad took the dip.

God never said Milly life will be a peach for you He just promised to be there every moment of the day.

So I take the good and I take the bad as I hold His hand and He takes it to His cheek.

Happy Happy

2008-10-31T16:11:00.001-07:00

Thank goodness they didn't put the number of birthdays on it.

However, having firefighters share cake with me would be a nice gift.

Sock Monkey was born to be wild!

Miss Littles pumpkin.

Have a happy no matter what your family does.

Where has the time gone?

2008-10-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

I decided I might want to let ya’ll know I’m still around.
Even though Sunset Boulevard is on I think I’ll still update.

Max my memoirs!

I’m not afraid to read it.

Saturday team Miss Littles ran The Tulsa Run Fun Run. Her school won $750.00 for having the most participants in their category. I missed running more than ever while I tried to find my running spirit from within. I think I can find my stride. I ran distance so it’s a bit slow compared to those who run to win. I run to find peace. I smiled at the man who greats our day at work with a rant of scriptures, he was ranting as I pasted him on the street. Some places most likely would run this man out but he seems to fit in with the ambiance, besides all he wants is coffee and a moment to quote scripture from that well worn Bible.

Sunday I woke with a head banger. Bummer I had things to do. I made it to work but not church. We had a competition at another store. Our store lost. I could think and they put things in other departments. No worries it was still fun to be there.

I’m still watching the sun come up every morning. It’s been turquoise and orange. How can you not see God in the morning.

I’m working on a spider costume for Miss Littles step into the book. She’s Charlotte. Tomorrow is the fall fest at church. Thursday is the day to get the boy ready for the weekend. Halloween is my birthday so it’s treating and relaxing with Miss Littles, my sister, and a friend.

It seems as if so many of us are going through some trials in our lives. We need to remember that God is with us always. If you’ve made a mistake fall to your knees in forgiveness Jesus died for you. You’re forgiven.

God loves us. He sent his Son to save us, so rejoice!

I'm ready for my close up

Hear Him

2008-10-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

I’ve read a few blogs around these parts in the last few months with the topic of hearing and not hearing God. Some have and no longer and some don’t and can’t be sure that they ever did. You know that got me thinking as things like this do. I spent some time at work pondering about hearing Him speak.

How are we to hear the voice of God?

In the old school testament God was in our faces. Well not our faces but those who came way back before us.

His voice was heard, and not only that He was live and in person. He came looking for Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.

God sent burning bushes and parted the sea.

I still want to know if while you were walking between those two walls of ocean could you have reached out and grabbed fish. Think about that image! Walls of water. . you are on the ocean bed walking. I want to know what they gave witness to. It will always be in my head till I die and when I’m dead I won’t ask because I will be with Jesus and I think in awe of Him I’ll fall to my knees. I know that some of you have me pegged for dancing. Hmmm I have a song now going through my head.

Back to the VOICE OF GOD!!!

Do you think it’s this big booming voice?

It could be.

Is the soft and gentle voice?

Perhaps.

Now I think I need a disclaimer hear. I am in no way saying that you are loved less or aren’t getting it right if you can’t hear it.

I believe that God speaks to me in a various ways.

I hear whispers

I get yelled at

I get talked to

I also think that He uses others and other things to speak for Him.

He created us and know how we are wired. This is something I throw my hands up about at times. Why aren’t ya’ll wired to think like I do? Why do you think it’s ok to sit in the middle of the WalMart parking lot (know as the portal to hell) waiting for the lady with a full cart, who has just arrived at her vehicle to search her purse for her keys. Then open the trunk and slowly start removing her items from her cart. You see me behind you and you know it was me that you insisted on being in front of so that you could have that spot. I don’t want the spot I just want to park so that I can run into the store for stuff for a Step Into The Book Costume. THIS IS WHY I DON"T SHOP AT WALMART! Ok that and the way they do business. Sorry I needed to vent.

I only know how I hear God. I I know that when I was in a church where everyone was talking in tongues I heard "Not this church, this isn’t for you." The people were super nice and my ex roommate made it seem to be great. She looked happy and I felt happy when I wasn’t confused about what was going on and what I was suppose to be doing.

I head the voice tell me to go the other way when I was driving Mary, my daughter, and her daughter to a leather work shop down town. I shook that voice off, after all I knew better. As I was driving through the neighborhood a truck tailed me. Now when you insist on being on my bumper I am not at all motivated to go faster. God knows how I worry that a child will run out into the road so I drive neighborhoods slowly anyway add a truck tail and I move at a snails pace. I also take my time pulling out. So I moved slower and took my time pulling onto 41st .The light was green and the streak was silver and the screams were Mary’s and my bumper ripped off red blazer. I slammed on the breaks sending all of us forward. Thank God for safety belts. Had I driven a bit faster he would have T-Boned us. The man driving the car didn’t stop for a while. He was going very fast when he topped the little hill and sped through the intersection and ripped my bumper off. One of our neighbors is a cop. He was off duty and came running to check on us. The cop who responded went to my church. I was surrounded by men to help me. had I listened to that Voice my bumper would have been in tact. Had God not sent a truck to slow me I would have been morning the death of my friend Mary and her daughter and possibly my daughter. God wasn’t ready for any of us.

When my marriage began to fall apart and I felt as if I couldn’t breathe God whispered to me. I heard Him. He gave me strength to make the calls that I needed to make. He continues to whisper to me. I have moments but I know that I am doing the right thing. I need to do this.

When we have moments of weakness who is it that stops us from picking up that phone. . .opening that bottle. . .taking that pill...slashing our skin. . . looking at wickedness. . .eating those cookies. . .have an affair. . . tuning out life. . .Who stops us?

Who will take us back when we stray?

Who is it that whispers in the dark of the night . . .It is done and I forgive you.

Most morning I stand in the doorway drinking in the color of morning and take a breath of cool air Who boldly shows me His new day?

A child’s drawing speaks to me of wonderment and love. I take in the rustic art wondering what they were thinking when a hair was painted purple and shapes out of proportion. A child need not say a thing to me about the work it speaks for itself. God’s beauty speaks to me.

I remember holding my new born son and looking at the moon one night . It was so big and bright that I lit the room. I thought of Mary giving up her son. How my heart ached for her. I whispered God I couldn’t do it. He said you don’t have to I did it for you and that baby.

Is it that God is silent?

Do you think that he would slip back to see how we can manage on our own. Is He a father that would let go of the bicycle? What then if we fall? We keep trying but we keep falling. Where are you Father? Why aren’t You helping why are You silent?

Is that it? Is it a silence a defining suffering fearful silence?

We want to put the blame somewhere. Is it God? Is it Jesus? Is it you? Is it me? Can I be so panic stricken that I would fail to hear Him?

I have no words to give comfort. I have never felt that fear.

He speaks boldly to me with a whisper. He yells at me when I can’t listen.

I may be listening to my own crazy mind. I may not be hearing Him. But I think I hear Him in the sunrise. I think I hear Him in the man who looks for me at work and tells me "Now I’m having a good day." when he sees me. I think I hear Him in my children. I think I hear Him in the singing birds. I know I heard Him the day I was laying on the dock on a cool fall day. I heard Him that day in the young people laughing and talking.

I’ve asked many things of God and been thankful of the no answers.
He know what I need and when I need it better, He is after all my Father.

I pray that you will hear Him soon.

I know that He hears you.

A ZOO!

2008-10-11T16:07:00.001-07:00

Today after lunch the kids and I strolled through a pet shop. They are in need of a something to take care of or so they say. We looked at several little hopping and happy fluffy things one liked looking at Miss Littles. We checked out the fish and one thought she was something to check out. We talked about the care of all of these creatures. The fish. . . I suggested they might as well live near the toilet because that would be where they’d end up.

Now if you know me you know I love birds. Free and out flying free. I’m not sure why I love them so and I have no idea of why I hate the idea of caging them. Still I do and I’ll just bet you can see it coming. She looked the birds over and one cockatiel came up to the glass to see her. She moved to the other side and waved him over and he made his way around all the stuff to see her. I think had we stayed any longer I’d have purchased the little one.
My child has a gift for animals.

I’ve seen it before she once sat in a friend’s yard and called all the cats to her.

I may have a zoo by this time next year.

Thank goodness that bird was over my budget.

My son wants bird feeders at the apartment because he too loves them.

No rodents allowed. Not my rule the apartment folks.

Yep a zoo.

This is the day

2008-10-09T15:29:00.000-07:00

One of the coolest things about the area that I work in is that I can watch the sun risings. This morning dawn brought a turquoise and orange sky. I’m a sun rise nerd so I had competition tell as many people as I could about the beauty that God granted us with. I stood in the door way holding the automatic doors open and took in a deep breath of the autumn cool air thinking "This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice." I say this most mornings.

It’s neat that several of my customers are Christians, they ask for prayers and offer them.
It’s been a long week today is my Friday. Sunday we had a competition among those in my department. I was surprised at the outcome. I took first place! I get to go to the next level and compete against others from other stores. I hope I don’t choke my boss seems to really want us to win. I joked about honing my skills when asked why I was in commercial today. I really don’t care that much about winning but I did let them know how good I am at what I do with the win. I was told that I could train in any department that I wanted. I know that I could move onto that floor in a heartbeat.

Back to the sun.
the sun coming up means that life starts new for me. All of yesterday is gone to memory and now I have a fresh start. I love that. I need that. I can visit my past but never live in it. I can live in the new day.

Tomorrow I’ll start a new day with new surprises and more blessings from God. I'll take the time to walk with Jesus and I'll whisper to myself This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice.

Demons in the church

2008-10-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

After a couple of discussions with spouses of those in the ministry I started thinking.

Demons are in the church.

I wonder if we could see them how many are circling the church. I thought about how many sit within.

One spouse is the wife of my minister. I want to say this so that you folks who think nothing of trashing the man or women who speak God’s words to you hear this. They are human and they have feelings! They have wives husbands and children. You are the people who brought them here you are the ones who they feel in love with and you are the ones who are hurting them the most.

I gave this some thought as I showered I would never pray that my child go int the ministry. Especially youth ministry. The devil hates youth ministry. He works hard to break it where ever he can and he uses parents. We parents have no problem listening to his hissing how wrong those who love and guide our children are. We have to stand hard against his vile nature.

My son has a wonderful heart for God and His children and when he said that he thought of going in youth ministry I prayed for guidance. He no longer speaks of it.

What a hurt it is not to trust those you love. What a hurt it is to feel so alone. The spouses don’t feel that they can trust anyone in the church. How could they? after all they’ve been slammed also. They have been talked about because their children ran around yelling yesterday. Mine did they day before and his were in the parking lot running around the cars. Still she’s a minister’s wife and she needs to keep them in place. I’ve read those letters. I’ve apologized for words that I had nothing to do with but still felt that the hurt needed to know how much I hated it.

Yes I do believe that demons attach to us and we walk them into the church proudly. We need to rid ourselves of them. We need to stand in font of the mirror and ask God to show us the truth.

No this mother will never pray that her children will go int the ministry.

Isn’t it funny how things have a way of making you smile?

2008-09-30T14:23:00.001-07:00

Today while driving home thinking about work needing to let go I passed the Weinermobile. How can you not smile at that? I ate a hot dag for lunch today. The Milly ate your baby. (With mustard and relish *o* )

Today a customer and I were talking about squirrels in the attic. He said these things are no longer afraid of people because we no longer hunt them. They are taking over Tulsa. I agreed and we began talking about eating them. His wife was grossed out and started taking about how they might taste. We both looked at her shaking our heads because she was wrong about how they taste. City girl. (They are good fried with cream gravy.)

Okies like to fry stuff and put cream gravy on it.

Several days ago a customer was asking my how to keep the squirrels out of her pots. I said shoot um and fry um. She looked unamused. I then started thinking of ways to stop them and enlisted a coworker she said shoot um and eat um. I think the lady was a bit unhappy with us. Still, it smells better than moth balls, unless you leave the dead creature out there to make a point to the others.

My dad had a squirrel that waited until he gathered the pecans in a bucket and stored them in the garage, then the little guy or gal would go shopping. Great time management on the squirrels part. It would go in whenever dad left the door open and help itself. Smart squirrel.

Last Sunday I was driving my son home from church he warned me about a squirrel close to the road. I said you know we use to eat those things. He responded with "Did ya tenderize them with the car?"

To be honest I haven’t eaten a squirrel in years. Once I moved to the woods I fell in love with them because they teased the dog and I didn’t like that dog at all.

That’s right I joined forces with the squirrels. Now I feed them.

Miss Littles just saw the squirrel in the back yard and came running in to tell me. I told her that he has been there before."It’s the first time I have ever seen him o it must be his first time there."

Who am I?

I suppose I don’t count at all.

I’m not the official squirrel spotter.

Isn't Life Grand!!

2008-09-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

How great is our God!

Break Room Questions

2008-09-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Wow do I ever feel better! Bob and lmouser I’m with you on this and so were some of the other men today. Money power and sex might be what other men aspire to have but I want God and I’m not at all surprised to hear that you men do too.

One of the ladies that I work with came to me this morning to talk with me because she was afraid that I might be upset that I was working with so many immoral people. I’m sad for them and pray that they see the missing from their hearts but not at all surprised by the want for folly.

Sad that one would want for those horrid things knowing that it would put up in line with the devil. Hell has never looked like a good place to end up in to me. Thanks guys for reconfirming that my heart is was right and a good man will want for nothing less then to be with God when he leaves this land.

Today we had some rather silly moments in the break room, I can’t recap nor do I want to because it led up to this question. Not one that I came up with BTW.

Would you want to be Hugh Marston Hefner?

Most of the guys that came in said YES!
One said yes with some changes
One said "What about my wife?" :-)
One wants to marry his daughter.

So guys Would you want to be Hugh?

And ladies would you want to be a bunny?

For the record I don't want to be a bunny at all, I want to be just who I am. Only. . . . ;-}

This was what I thought of Genesis 19

NIV

23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. 24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

27 Early the next morning Abraham got up and returned to the place where he had stood before the LORD. 28 He looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, toward all the land of the plain, and he saw dense smoke rising from the land, like smoke from a furnace.

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed

Solving the Banana Crises By Milly's Boy

2008-09-19T02:41:00.001-07:00

Laymond- you could do better but at least but it gets you there with ‘nanas to spare.

Uncle Mark- This one does eat bananas. And Mark should do math. Thank god for Aunt K 2 do the math 4 U. (That = 6). Your nephew is smarter than you.

Salquod- its over 1 mile there+back your math ain’t gonna work.

Missy- SPCA will fine you for that cause that kills camels :-(

KB- Momma ain’t vote’n 4 U any more.

Lynne- with the hurricanes and all the other stuff there all booked up.

Karen- FedEx!!!!!!! Those dudes eat 2 bananas a mile.

Karen-It's a math question for my class. Have fun with it. It's not a grade for you just me.

ME- try this. Put 1000 bananas on his back. Walk 250 miles. Drop 500 bananas and walk back. Then do it again. On the 3rd trip you are left with 750 bananas to drop, for a total of 1750 bananas. Then pick up 1000 bananas and walk another 250 miles (the half way point). Then drop 500 bananas and go back. Then get the 750 left and head back agin. You are half way with 1000 bananas. Pick them up and go all the way across. You have 500 bananas left to sell.

This isn’t the most efficient way. If anyone can get more across let us know. I don’t remember exactly how to do it but I know it started with going 1 mile with 1000 bananas. Keep work’n on it.

Math fun for ya

2008-09-19T02:41:00.000-07:00

A camel is sitting by a stack of 3,000 bananas at the edge of a 1000-mile wide desert. He is going to travel across the desert, carrying as many bananas as he can to the other side. He can carry up to 1,000 bananas at any given time, but he eats one banana at every mile.

What is the maximum number of bananas the camel can transport across the desert?
How does he do it?

My day of uncaring

2008-09-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

As I drove to work dark Friday AM I thought about how much someone at work was making things rather suckage like. As drove in the darkness I mulled it over thinking about how me giving a hoot caused a smart mouthed immature comment from one woman. I took care of the situation because she was too busy talking to another coworker to do her job. I declared it

MILLY’S DAY OF UNCARING!!!!!!!

Yepper loudly in Sara, my car, Miss Littles named her. I pulled into the parking lot with a smile on my face because this is Milly’s day of uncaring. I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care I don’t I don’t care sang in my head. I was not going to care and I was going to let those around me know. After all I wanted them to know how liberated I was.

I enlisted help, I’d need it after all because I care and I care very passionately. I’d need to be able to have someone to call because going cold turkey wasn’t going to be easy. No twelve step program here. I was ripping off the band-aid. Walking to the end of the plank with a blind fold on. Jumping into a vat of honey without taking my keys from my pocket. So I enlisted the one guy that I knew could talk me through any moment of a caring crises. I made the announcement to the woman who had been smarting off to me for about a month now, she had a rude comment to make but I didn’t care.

As I went about my work I noticed in the corner of my eye that the sun was painting the sky in wonderful peachy colors. I went to the doors and stood looking at the sky thinking This is the day the Lord has made and I rejoice in it.

He’s talking to me and in color.

Arg!

I worked trying not to care and yet still being nice. Then it happened! I can’t believe it! One of my regular customers was rushing through as I was helping him he said the words that stopped me. I stood motionless for at least two seconds my eyes must have blazed with anger at the world after all this was my day. It was the United Way Day of Caring! I care 364 days out of the year and all I wanted was one day one little day one tiny day to not care! One day to not give a hoot to not give a darn to not have to give a heck fire or heck far if you’re a true Okie. I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t believe it loudly.

I resigned myself to caring and went on about my day as the United Way Caring folks, who normally sit at a desk, shopped for items that will spruce up DVIS and other places that I care about.

Thank you God for keeping me true to myself.

I shouldn't have cared Saturday but that's is a different day. ;-}

Freefall with God!

2008-09-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday the minister at my church preached about the sermon on the mount and I’ll think about posting my thoughts on that later. He started with Matthew 4. These words stuck firmly in my head at once and immediately. Read these passages

NIV

Matthew 4

The Calling of the First Disciples
18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him.

21Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. 20And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.

King James

Matthew 4

18And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
19And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.
20And they straightway left their nets, and followed him.
21And going on from thence, he saw other two brethren, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in a ship with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and he called them.
22And they immediately left the ship and their father, and followed him.

English Standard
Matthew 4

Jesus Calls the First Disciples
18 While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19And he said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." 20Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. 22Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

The Message
Matthew 4

18-20Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." They didn't ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed.
21-22A short distance down the beach they came upon another pair of brothers, James and John, Zebedee's sons. These two were sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, mending their fishnets. Jesus made the same offer to them, and they were just as quick to follow, abandoning boat and father.

At once!

Immediately!

The magnitude of those words resonate in my head. Jesus simply called to them and they dropped their nets. Those nets weren’t purchased at Target they were handmade, that takes time and skill. This was their lives. This was how they supported themselves. Everyone and everything was to be left behind. They didn’t pack boxes nor did they grab a change of clothes. No girl in their eyes to say good bye to. No buddies to shake hands with and wish them well. They took that step without support of loved ones.

Yesterday I spent some time in the grocery store examining three choices of chicken stuff. Before that I spent some time thinking about how much time I had before I had to pick up the kids because I was delayed at the mechanic’s getting my oil changed, it took two hours. (They washed it without asking or telling me, a nice serendipity) Before that I debated on what kind of oil to put into the car. I chose the better stuff. (a man might tell me different or he might frown because I pay to have it done but I am manless, I’ve paid to have the oil changed from the get go with this car.

Back to my thought process:

I have to think things out. I have to look at all sides. I’ve heard of others who just went, they heard God calling and they sold the house and went. When I was young I would do some spontaneous things but to give up a life to live in uncertainty just wasn’t me. I really have to think on this one. If you are the man of the house who has heard the calling and you convince your family to follow you to another state making job changes, school changes, home changes, and friend changes sure you are freefalling with God but you have your family. These men just dropped the nets without any discussion. James and John didn’t ask their father if they should go, they just went.

Perhaps that doesn’t blow you away!
It sure does me!

I took a leap of faith when I made the call to bring the beginning to the end of my marriage after spending a huge amount of time watching, thinking, and most of all praying. But I did all of those things. Giving time to mull of things is important you do need to be sure that what you’re doing is what is best for you and your family. I’m ending a things after a lot of thought, after God reviled to me that I was right in doing so.

I do believe that God calls us to go with Him and clearly He does it that quickly. I just have never heard that call and it blows me away to think of feeling His security to take that freefall.

Have you ever been called to do so that quickly
at once~ immediately ?
Did you go straightway go?

Or did you spend time thinking about it?

Pernicious Words From Your Heart

2008-09-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

Horrible words spoken
They never go away
So much wanted to say
They would only hurt the one who speaks them
I hold them all. . . those spoken and those restrained
I will write them down
Burn those that were flailed at me with hostility
I shall burn those that were deleterious to my heart
I will repress the words I thought and bury them deep in the soil
I will not lower myself to be like you
I will not allow your dispiriting words to take me to where you are
I refuse to live in a dark place because of your words

I will walk away from you happy

Where?

2008-09-02T12:39:00.000-07:00

I see so many who have walked away from Him and I wonder

Where will you be when the storm blows in?
Where will you be when life is just too hard?
Where will you go when you are all alone?
If not to God then where will you go?
Where then will you be?

Pass it on

2008-08-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

It’s so cool how people can show kindness.

One of my regular customers has been praying for me. He came over to talk to me last week and said that he had walked the whole store to find me to be sure I was ok.

One man went out of his way to find me to thank me for being nice to him.

Those moments are great and those are to be passed on.

Be kind today and pray that someone passes it on.

Miss Littles Grew

2008-08-28T14:52:00.000-07:00

After the seeds were planted . . .

in PaPa's roses.

I think the roses were beyond grossed out.

She raised three of these babies.

We brought this one home and played with it.

Its good side.

We teased it. . . .moose ears

We offered it a snack

Bunny ears. . . .

But at the end of the day it has to happen.

Oh the juice! Oh the juice!

So good and sweet.

Wish ya'll were here to enjoy.

The Milly Times

Got your coffee?

We stuff our lives in the corners of the house only to excavate them to discover how you once lived.

Baby Bird.

I realize that the Church of Christ is known for how the men treat the woman but honestly!

God, He rolls like that for us gals (My begining)

Hello out there

Blizzard of 2011 home because I am His favorite

Yep it was Christmas. . .remember why?

A tugging has been in my heart

Hello

Memory is Sailing

Gone to walk with God

God's Sticker Book

Golly my life is a strange path

Life is grand!

Millyism-because

Praying that the cancer goes away

Wow after more than a year I am seeing the idea that God put into my head at my church.

Life is what it is

She loved the earth

A tugging has been in my heart

Good Bye ladies

Her Heart

Praying for good news

Here YOU take the wheel. . .

I am. . .

I long for . . .

Think'n differently

The translation of the prayer in post #500

#500

No matter how He sends us. . .kicking and screaming . . .

Meet Khloey

Pull it-Drag it-Hide from it. It just won't go away

I'm sick of the pink hospital

Fun questions

God hears!

Big Bang funny

God hear our prayers

My sis and me

Please pray

Fear not! I'm afraid and proud of it!

From the Realm

Oklahoma is hot!

Cool Cool Alaska

Mind Candy

Need Help

Face it

Don't worry be happy

Life is good today and the sun came out to play.

Quote for life

Back and read this

D*I*V*O*R*C*E*D

It is unacceptable!

Heroes in my life

It’s going to be a crazy week

Book of Face

Bits of Tulsa History

eight days and standing

Good Ride Cowboy

I’m going to head something up at my church . . .

Is this in your face?

Inside my knee

Affairs Part Twa (2)

From KB's Blog a bit of fun

Kneed

a life time. . .

An old friend stopped by

Inspiration

Winter you have arrived

Update on my kid

Please pray

Guess Who is 9!?!

My minister did the coolest thing last Sunday.

What a wonderful gift for the new year from God

Ahhh !!!!!

What sparks your Christmas Spirit?

From KBs place

I'm here!

Her Heart

DIVORCE*D